Author: Aimee Eddy

First, we heard about the coronavirus in China and Japan. The news covered the many deaths it caused and told us about people flying back to the US being put in quarantine. America was on edge, but we didn’t panic. Before we knew it, the virus spread to different states in America and the news began to talk nonstop about it. Now America is in a state of emergency and mass hysteria has begun. Everyone’s ability to handle anxiety, fears, and stress is being put to the test. If you’re struggling with mental illness, you may find some of the symptoms of your illness intensified. How do you cope with your anxiety, fears, and stress?

It seems like everyone has gone crazy with fear. Panic, like we have seen on television shows, is happening in reality. People are going to the stores in droves stocking up on foods, sanitizer, disinfectants, toilet paper, and other paper products. People with germ phobias are wearing hazmat suits, masks, and gloves. Fears are running high for everyone and even more for those struggling with mental illness.

I have been working in a grocery store for nearly 25 years. I have worked through holiday madness and winter storm craziness, but this coronavirus hysteria is unlike anything I have ever experienced. I wait on endless lines of people with overflowing cartloads of groceries. My anxiety is running wild. I try to greet customers in between dry heaves. Within my mind, I try to calm myself before I have a full anxiety attack. I practice breathing in and slowly letting it out. One day after work I went to the ladies’ room to get sick.

I’m not in a panic over the virus, but the overwhelming crowds of customers have stirred up my anxiety and stress. I have come up with a few coping techniques that have helped me and may help you deal with this growing hysteria.

• Don’t watch, listen to, or read too much of the news. It’s good to keep track of what is happening in your area, but if you focus too much on the media, it will only heighten your anxiety, fears, and stress. The news goes on constantly about the coronavirus and its effects on other countries along with ours. The news is very good at hyping up situations to cause fear. I turn on the news enough to find out if the virus is in our area and then I turn it off. I watch Netflix so I won’t have to hear about it in commercials. When the news airs on the radio, I listen to it for a bit and put in a CD.
• Practice relaxation techniques when you find your anxiety taking over or stress getting the better of you. When you’re in the midst of the crowds, take deep breaths and let them out slowly. Get out of the madness, and go to a quiet park and sit, walk, or journal. Take a bubble bath or watch a good movie. If you can’t leave, then close your eyes briefly and think of going somewhere peaceful like to a beach, woods, or your favorite place. I like to journal after work and while at work I think about lying on a beach with water washing up around me.
• Live each day one at a time. Try to focus on the day you’re in instead of fearing the future. It’s easy to worry about the “what ifs,” but the “what ifs” can drive you into a deep depression or a major break down. Don’t think, “What if I get the coronavirus and die?” or “What if everything shuts down and I starve to death?” Just focus on your day and the tasks you need to do. It doesn’t hurt to get some extra food, but don’t overstock like you’ll be stuck in quarantine for months. Worrying about the future will only heighten your anxiety. I focus on getting through work and going home to snuggle with my husband.
• Don’t stop living your life. It would be so easy to crawl in bed and not leave, but what good does that do you? Staying in bed, locked up in your house will only increase your depression. When you stop living, you’re left alone with your thoughts, the television that constantly goes on about the virus, and your out of control fears. You have a life don’t; let this virus keep you from living it. Take precautions, but keep going on. Go to your job, keep your appointments, and don’t cancel your plans. I get up each morning and do my normal routines even though I’d like to stay in bed. I continue to work, run errands on my days off, and even go for a walk at Erie’s Peninsula.
• Take care of yourself physically and mentally. This is a very important time to nurture yourself. Keep up with your psychiatrist and therapist appointments, take your medications, and work on your thought process. Do everything they tell you to like washing your hands, staying home when you’re sick and keeping your hands away from your face. Also make sure you’re getting rest when you need it, showering regularly, and getting out of bed. Don’t neglect yourself. I’m exercising, I take a shower each morning, I keep in touch with my support system, and I make sure I take my medications.
• Stay positive. Yes, a scary virus is in our country, but there are still plenty of good things going on in your life. Focus on the good things like your loved ones, your job, the sun shining brightly, a smile from a stranger, and so on. Positive things are happening all around you. Look for them. If you need to, make a list of them. Each day find something good about it. Despite the bad things happening in our country, find something good. Goodness is still out there. This isn’t the end of the world. Wonderful things are still happening in this world. Find them and hold onto them. I’m focusing on the writing workshops I’m doing September 12 and October 3, and I’m grateful after a long day I can come home to my husband and dog.

During these very scary and crazy times, these coping techniques are helping me stand within the light of recovery.

I’m re-posting an older blog post this week. Enjoy. I will post a new one next week.

 

Negative thoughts tear through your mind and fill you with emotions that push you deeper into the black hole of depression. The bad emotions begin to suck the breath out of you and stab your soul. You struggle to fight them, but it seems hopeless. There is no end to the thoughts and emotions that ravage your mind and body. So what do you do?

Fighting your thoughts and emotions is like going to combat. Your mind has been thinking bad things for so long it doesn’t know how to think otherwise. You have to stand up and fight it. You have to change the negative into positive.

Thoughts are connected to your emotions. I learned in therapy that the only way I could feel better emotionally was to change my thoughts and then my feelings would follow. The more negative things filled my mind, the worse I felt within.

When I started therapy while I was ill, I thought changing my thought pattern was impossible. What could I find good to think of? Then my therapist gave me a chart to fill out. Below is an example of a chart I had to fill out for each of my negative thoughts.  charts can be found in Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy By David Burns M.D. https://www.amazon.com/Feeling-Good-New-Mood-Therapy/dp/0380731762/ref=sr_1_2?crid=8SWLA7DLGVJZ&keywords=feeling+good+the+new+mood+therapy+by+david+burns&qid=1583805391&sprefix=Feeling+Good%2Caps%2C1312&sr=8-2

Date	Negative Thoughts	Emotions	Positive Thoughts	Emotions
Example 4/23       4/24	I can’t do anything right. I’m a looser.       My life is a hopeless wreck. I hate living.	Hopeless         Sad	There are many things I can do well. I am a talented writer, I am a good cashier, and I am good at woodburning. I am a winner.     Life is beautiful and being alive is wonderful. I have a lot to live for.	Hopeful         Happy

 

Filling out the negative side of the chart was the easy part. Turning it into positives was the hard part. I was blinded by the darkness within me. I saw everything like the pages of a newspaper, in black and white. How could I see the color of positivity? How could I shine light within my mind? I spent hours trying to find a positive thought.

In order to get better, I had to declare war on my thought process. I had to force myself to find something good to think about. That was the only way I could control the emotions that kept eating at my soul. I made copies of the chart and each day I filled one out.

In time, positive thoughts came to me more easily. Once  the thoughts became brighter, so did my emotions. Eventually, I no longer needed the chart. It’s not that bad thoughts no longer cross my mind, but now I can fight them on my own. They do come to me less often and my emotions are brighter.

Fight your negative thoughts and emotions and find the light. Make copies of the chart. The book, Feeling Good The New Mood Therapy by David Burns M.D., has a variation of the chart. In that chart you link your thoughts to cognitive distortions. Find a chart that works best for you.

Since I went to combat with my negative thoughts and learned how to change them, I now stand in the light with joy.

 

Date	Negative thoughts	Emotions	Positive Thoughts	Emotions

 

 

 

 

People who struggle with mental illness are all around you. They are your cashiers, your bus drivers, your doctors, your co-workers, and so on. It’s common to think that people with mental illness curl up in a ball and stop existing. Many think those struggling are locked up in what they call the loony bin. They are wrong. People with mental illness can live productive lives and they do. They can hold jobs and be a functioning part of society.

I’m a cashier and I have worked at the same grocery store for almost 25 years. I took a year off from college, and that’s when I began working at the grocery store. When I started at the store, I worked in the bakery and I was very depressed. I only talked if I had to. The bakery manager was loud and he scared me. We had to know the prices of pastries in the display case. My mind was plagued with racing thoughts, deep sadness, and worry. With my emotions combined with my learning disability I couldn’t remember the prices. I was moved to the front end as a bagger.

I did go into recovery for a few years and began to live the life I never had in my school years. At my job I found more friends than I could have ever imaged and began dating for the first time. I started going out with a group of friends after work to a bowling alley. We would bowl until two in the morning and then I’d get up at eight to go to work. I was living the life I always dreamed of. I was having fun. I wasn’t cured, but I was living life to the fullest.

Everything was going great until it wasn’t. It seem like I fell to the bottom in a flash. I was living in an apartment with a roommate, I was dating a guy who I thought was great, and I was enjoying my life. Yet I fell down that hole again. I hit rock bottom. It became a struggle to get out of bed in the morning. I began injuring again. My thoughts were jumbled, and I fought to concentrate, yet I went to work. I forced myself to get though a day of work  with a smile and without falling apart in front of customers.

Only a few people I worked with knew I was struggling. No matter how bad I felt, I went to work and put on a mask. I did my job and I did it well. I moved up from bagger to cashier. I was functioning at my job even though I couldn’t function at home. I’d work, go home, and fall to pieces. I was a mess and on top of it, I moved in with my boyfriend. I soon found out he was abusive. This led me deeper into my illness, and yet I went to work.

I could have given up. It would have been easy to curl up into a ball and not leave my bed. I did call off more than I should have, but I still worked. Most of my co-workers did not know I was sick. It was so difficult to put a mask on and try to pretend I wasn’t dying inside, but I did it.

I worked while dealing with an abusive relationship that made my mental illness worse. When my boyfriend kicked me out, I was admitted into a mental health hospital. I took time off work to get better. My therapist started to fill out paperwork for disability. I told her I didn’t want disability; I wanted to work. She insisted I was unable to work because of my mental illness. She was wrong; I went back to work.

Many are working with mental illness. They are all around us. Some are struggling, but hiding their pain, and some are in recovery. If you have mental illness, don’t let anyone tell you, you can’t work. There are people doing their jobs all around us every day while fighting unseen illnesses. Just because people are struggling with mental illness doesn’t mean they are unable to hold a job or be a functioning part of society.

In August I will be working at the grocery store for 25 years. I’m enjoying my job even more now that I’m in recovery. Working while I was at my worst helped me climb out of the dark hole. It kept me from sitting home and giving up. Working helps me feel like a valuable part of society and helps me to stand tall in the light of recovery.

Racing thoughts fill my mind

My body tenses, I gasp for air

I pound my fist on the side of my head

Stop, I yell.

 

Words jumble in my mind

One thought becomes another

They start with a small worry

With each new thought the worry grows

 

My mind jumps from one thought to another

My car insurance increases

I ruined dinner

There’s never enough money for bills

 

The thoughts rip at my insides

They torment me like an angry storm

They won’t shut up

They take control of my body

 

I must fight

I can’t let them win

I fight them with positive thoughts

I argue with them

 

The thoughts fight back

I refuse to give up

I journal

I list good things

 

I gain control of my breathing

My body relaxes

I release my fist

My thoughts calm

 

The battle is won

No award is given

Yet I earn a badge of courage

My award is the light of recovery

 

Love is a beautiful thing. Finding someone special who completes you and makes you fall in love with him or her each day is magical. Love comes in many forms. There is the love between a couple, the love of a friend, parental love, family love, and even the love of a pet. Each type is special and deserves to be celebrated and cherished. Valentine’s Day is a wonderful time to celebrate all kinds of love.

I never dated in school. The boys picked on me, and they made me feel hideous. I felt lonely and sad on Valentine’s Day. When other girls were getting gifts and roses from their boyfriends, I was dying inside. I day dreamed of Mr. Wonderful showing up and sweeping me off my feet. Unfortunately I could only dream. I spent a lot of time day dreaming of my perfect Valentine.

It wasn’t until I became an adult that guys started paying attention to me and I began to date. I had several boyfriends who bought me gifts for Valentine’s Day, but those relationships ended badly. The men I dated crushed my dreams of Mr. Wonderful. None of them knew how to handle my mental illness nor did they try to learn to help me. Instead they hurt me. After my one ex, I gave up all hopes of finding the right guy. I figured I would live with my parents until they passed, and then move to where my younger sister lives. I thought I would be alone for the rest of my life.

I had and still have very supportive parents, loving siblings, and good friends. I was willing to accept that would be enough to keep me going. For several years it was. Their love sustained me and encouraged me to fight towards recovery. Their love also helped me put an end to self-injury. Not everyone with mental health problems has these kinds of love. I felt blessed, yet I still dreamed of Mr. Wonderful.

It wasn’t until my thirties that I met Mr. Wonderful on a blind date. I agreed to one date with him, but he won my heart over. He swept me off my feet. He promised to treat me like a woman, to respect me, to spoil me with love, and to always be at my side. I thought when I told him about my mental illness he would walk away, but he didn’t. He agreed to do couple therapy with me so he could learn how to help me.

I was scared to say, “I love you” to him and when he said it to me, I told him it was too soon. Without me knowing he began to say, “I love you” with sign language. I thought he was giving me the peace sign or something. I had no idea what it meant until I asked a customer. Once I found out, I began to say it back to him. Our hearts were united, and I let go of my fears.

Next month we will be together fourteen years, and in April we’ll be married 13 years. There is not a special occasion or holiday that he forgets. There is not a day that he doesn’t shower me with love. He’s the love of my life, my Mr. Wonderful.

I was told once you get married Valentine’s Day just becomes another day, but not to us. Yes, we show each other love every day, but on Valentine’s Day we celebrate the magic of love. We celebrate the love of a friend that brought us together, the love of family that supported our relationship, the love of a man that filled my lonely soul with happiness and gave me hope, and the love of two people that created a magical bond. Despite struggling from mental illness, I found a special love. Valentine’s Day is a celebration of all the love I share with not just my husband, but with my friends and family.

Love is a magical thing that builds us up and encompasses us. If you’re feeling alone and unloved, look around you; you may find you are surrounded by love. If you think no man or woman could ever love you because of your illness, you’re wrong. The first step to finding love is to learn to love yourself, and to begin that fight towards recovery. Be patient: Mr. or Miss. Wonderful maybe waiting for you. Don’t give up on love, and never think you are not loved. If you spent this past Valentine’s Day feeling alone and unloved, then decide now that next year you will cherish all the different forms of love you have in your life. Maybe this is the year you’ll find your soulmate.

This Valentine’s Day, my husband spoiled me with gifts and dinner, but the best present he gave me is his undying love. His love and the love from friends and family allow the light to shine down on me.

Things happen in your life that lifts your spirits and also get you thinking. Life is full of surprises. Sometimes it gives you a bumpy road to travel and other times it gives you smooth roads. We never know what road we will be traveling on. The road to recovery can be like getting rid of an old, rusty car for a shiny, new one. You’re getting rid of an old, broken life for a new, bright life.

Tuesday morning my husband and I sat down to have breakfast. We began to talk about the problems with our 2008 Chevy Cobalt. We needed to get it fixed before May when our inspection would be up. We had a hole in the rocker panel, a sensor needed replacing, and we were having problems with the steering. There was no way we could afford to fix all these problems. We had already replaced the gas line and had the muffler repaired along with other things. It was time for something new.

This got me thinking about myself while I was sick. I was like our old car. I had lots of problems that needed fixing. I was self-injuring, my thoughts were negative, I was suicidal, and I couldn’t control my anxiety attacks. Like our car, I couldn’t afford to keep my life going on that road. I needed to change. I needed to renew my life.

After breakfast my husband and I decided to look at newer cars. We texted a friend we met through the dealer we bought our Cobalt from and she suggested a dealer ship. We drove to a town about a half hour away. We talked to a sales man, and he took us to a cherry red Chevy Equinox. The inside looked like new even though it was used. Both of us fell in love with it right away. We took it for a ride and we wanted to buy it. We were like kids in a toy store. So we began the long process of paperwork.

My choice to work towards recovery was like looking at new cars. I looked at what my life could be like in recovery. I saw a chance for a new, bright life. I was excited to take it for a test drive. I fell in love with the idea I could be happy. Like doing paperwork, I had a long process of therapy, medication, and work before me to reach recovery. I knew it wasn’t an easy process, but I wanted it like we wanted that car. I was willing to do whatever it took to reach recovery.

Hours later we got the keys to the SUV, and we drove to my parents to show it off. For a long while I had gotten used to being chauffeured around by my husband and lost interest in driving. When we got this SUV, I suddenly wanted to drive everywhere. I had a new toy and excitement filled me. At work I told my customers about our new vehicle and showed them pictures. Getting rid of the old car helped me let go of worries and getting a new one filled me with happiness.

Reaching recovery is like getting a new car except instead of a new car, I got a new beginning. I wanted to show everyone the new me. I bragged about my new beginning. I had this new shiny life to show off, and I wanted to tell everyone and I did. I still do. I tell everyone about how I threw away my rusted life and built a new one. I was and am excited. I’m not cured, but I’m happy.

Recovery is as shiny as a new car. Reach for it; strive for it. Get rid of your old broken down life, and work towards a new one. Recovery is worth the fight. You don’t have to settle for an endless life of darkness and sadness. You can find happiness. You can learn to control, and manage your mental illness. Happiness is waiting for you. Fight for it.

I’m doing well in recovery. I’ve had bumpy roads, but I enjoy the smooth roads. I’m driving down the road in the light of recovery.

 

Antidepressants are supposed to help us feel better about ourselves mentally and physically, but in a way they hurt our view of our body. Many antidepressants add extra pounds and can make you hungry. Not only do antidepressants add weight, but binge eating when you’re down also puts on extra pounds. How do you feel better if you’re hungry and adding extra pounds when you take your medication? How do you like yourself when you can’t control your eating when you’re down? How do you get healthier mentally and physically?

I have been struggling with my weight and my self-esteem for a long time. Over the years I put on a lot of extra pounds. My psychiatrist gave me a diet plan to help fight the weight gain my antidepressants caused and I was excited at first. I tried to keep to the plan, and at each visit my psychiatrist weighed me. I lost a few pounds, but I lost interest. Eating unhealthier when I was stressed and down became too easy. I got into a habit of eating junk food at night and snacking in between meals. It’s so easy to eat junk food when your emotions are running wild.

I put those pounds back on along with extra ones. I went from being one hundred and seventy to two hundred and thirty three. My round belly popped out and I began wearing elastic pants and double extra-large shirts. This also made it hard for me to look at myself in the mirror without disgust. I hated myself even more.

I kept saying to my husband, “I’m fat and ugly.”

He looked into my eyes. “Don’t put yourself down. You’re not ugly and you’re just overweight.”

I wanted to believe him, but I felt ugly and fat inside and out. I didn’t like myself, but I didn’t have the willpower to change it. Instead I just kept shoving food in my mouth, and sitting in front of the television. It wasn’t until the doctor said I was close to getting diabetes that I decided to do something about it. I mean I did try to work out with a friend for a little bit after I recovered from cancer, but gave up. A diagnosis of prediabetes woke up my determination.

As you have been reading in previous blog posts, I have been working hard on losing weight and eating healthier. It has been a trial and error process. I hurt in places where I didn’t know there were muscles. I keep pushing myself and resisting the junk food. Instead of snacking on chips and candy at night, I’ve been eating fruit. I’ve cut down my portions, and I’m drinking lots of water even though it’s making me pee a lot.

I didn’t think I could do this until I was smacked in the face with the possibility of getting another illness. Now I’m doing it. I have been doing this for four weeks so far and I have lost five pounds. I keep pushing myself. I wonder if I can keep up this lifestyle, and then I remind myself I have to. I can’t give up on losing weight and being healthier, because it is helping me physically and mentally.

At work a customer said to me, “You look like you’re losing weight.”

I couldn’t help but feel the light shine from my soul. I smiled and said, “I have lost weight. I’m working hard at it.”

“You look good,” the customer replied.

For the first time in a while, I feel good inside and out. It’s been a while since I’ve been happy with myself. I have a long ways to go to get below two hundred pounds, but I am already proud of how far I have come. All the pain, the cravings, and the giving up of foods I like are worth it. I am losing weight. I couldn’t be happier with myself.

My friend Cheryl is also trying to lose weight and we keep telling each other we can’t wait until we have “bikini bodies.” I have no breasts to hold up a bikini top, but it is a goal I am going to reach for. I am already starting to feel healthier physically and mentally.

Don’t let mental illness and antidepressants take away your self-esteem. Yes, the medication puts on weight, and yes it’s easier to eat unhealthy when you’re feeling down, but it doesn’t make you feel good. Get off the couch and do some exercises, even if it’s just walking around your neighborhood. Replace that chocolate cake with an orange. When you’re down, binge eat on healthy foods, cut down on your portions, and get off that couch and get moving.

It’s up to you to change your ways so you’ll like yourself more. You can be healthier mentally and physically. Make eating healthier and exercising part of your recovery plan. Don’t put it off like I did. Push yourself. You can do it.

I won’t give up on my quest to be healthier. It’s helping me feel better about myself, and that helps me run with pride in the light of recovery.

 

Some people are born chefs. They cook up fancy meals with all kinds of spices and herbs that tickle the taste buds. In this modern age, many buy frozen dinners or eat out a lot. However, there are people who still cook a meal each night for their families. It’s easy to make unhealthy meals that are quick and simple. In these busy days, who has time to slave over the stove? Eating healthy can be a challenge. Trying to cook meals when you’re used to taking the easy way out can be an adventure.

My mother always made home cooked meals when we were kids, and she still does. She is a wonderful cook. When I got married, I started using many of her recipes, but after standing for six to seven hours a day at work, I became lazy. My husband and I started eating out a little too much. With my recent diagnosis of prediabetes, I began a new adventure of cooking healthy.

I decided my husband would be my victim. If he flopped over from my cooking, then I wouldn’t make that recipe again. If he asked for seconds and bragged about how good it tasted, the recipe would get a high score. First I had to learn some new things about cooking like what certain spices are and if I can leave them out or if they are necessary. I had no idea what spices like curry and cumin are. Being a cashier, I did know that spices are expensive. There are a few cheaper ones you can get at the dollar store. So with this knowledge I was hoping to make recipes with the cheapest spices I could get or find alternatives.

Wednesday, my husband Lou and I went shopping for ingredients for several different recipes. That night I decided to make chicken broccoli casserole for the next night’s supper. My husband went to bed at seven-thirty and I went to work.

I read through the ingredients and put them out on the counter. Will my husband survive this recipe? Can I cook him a healthy meal he’ll love or will I be sending him to an early grave?

It said to mix the ingredients in a bowl. Two of the ingredients were bread crumbs and curry. I realized I forgot those two. I didn’t even know what curry is. Was it something necessary? Could I use something else in place of it? I private-messaged my friend Amy and she told me it’s a hot spice. My husband and I don’t like hot stuff, so I decided to skip it. My solution for the bread crumbs was to take piece of wheat bread and rip them up into small pieces. Perfect solution, I thought.

I started mixing all the ingredients in a bowl. I forgot the cream of chicken soup. I reached up into the cupboard and a can of tomato sauce fell into the bowl. The bowl tipped, and the contents splattered everywhere. Our dog was fast at licking up what hit the floor and she didn’t flop over. I took that as a good sign. On the bad side, I had to start over.

Once again I started mixing the ingredients. I tore up the bread into crumbs and dumped them in. Next I mixed in the cheese and olive oil. It looked like a clumpy, yellow, and slimy mess.

Oh boy. I hope this taste better than it looks. I really hope Lou doesn’t divorce me for trying to kill him.

I read the next steps. It said, “Pour contents of the bowl over the chicken and broccoli layer in the pan.” Then next to it, it said, “Mix bread crumbs, olive oil and cheese in a separate bowl and sprinkle it on top of the casserole.”

I threw my hands up in the air. Now I’m really going to kill Lou with my cooking. I mixed everything together and I needed actual bread crumbs. What have I done? I failed big time. What do I do now? I already mixed it all together.

I decided I would put it in the oven anyways and pray my husband would survive the next day when I served it to him. It did smell good while it was cooking. Another good sign.

This had to turn out good. My husband doesn’t usually like chicken. How could I make him want to eat this if I messed up the recipe? He loves cheese. That was a plus, but it had chunky pieces of bread mixed in instead of bread crumbs sprinkled on top. Cheese couldn’t be bad mixed in, but pieces of bread?

I worried the next day while at work if I would score a 10 or make my husband double over. After work I pulled out the casserole and dished it out on plates. I warmed each one up. Then we sat down at the table. I said the prayer and afterwards my hubby picked up his fork.

I held my breath. This is the moment of truth. Should I move the garbage can close to him in case he gets sick? Should I stand next to him so I can catch him if he keels over?

He scooped up some of the casserole and put it in his mouth. “Yum, this is delicious. You have to make it again.”

I let my breath escape my lungs. I wanted to scream, “I scored a perfect 10.” Instead of saying, “Mikey likes it,” I wanted to say, “Louie likes it.” I actually impressed my husband with a fumbled, healthy chicken recipe. He even wants me to make it again. I felt like a medal was being placed on my chest. I graduated from a simple chef to a moderate chef.

“Yay, Louie likes it.”

My advice to you is don’t be afraid to try something new. If you goofed up, keep pushing forward. Don’t mark yourself as a failure. Your goof up may turn out to be better than you think. Take on new adventures with your fight towards recovery from mental illness, breast cancer, prediabetes, and so on.

Cooking healthy recipes is going to help me lose weight, beat prediabetes, and feel better mentally and physically. Working towards being healthier and taking on new adventures is allowing the light above the hole shine even brighter.

 

When you have health problems, sometimes you need to create a plan of action to help manage or prevent the issue. There are plans for types of treatments, plans for changing eating habits, plans for increasing exercise, and so on. Even with mental illness, you need a plan to work towards recovery. When you’re diagnosed with breast cancer, you are given a plan of treatment and things you can do on your own to help. Action plans come in handy with many other illnesses like prediabetes, and diabetes.

I wrote last week about being told I have prediabetes, and this week I’m going to write about my plan to prevent diabetes. I know my blog is mainly about breast cancer and mental illness, but I found that my plan is also helping with those, too. My plan is to lose weight, change how I eat, and exercise more. Eating healthy and exercising are also suggested to help fight mental illness and breast cancer.

It’s too easy to get depressed and eat comfort foods like ice cream, cake, and cookies. In the end, do these foods really give you comfort? I mean, you eat them and gain weight. Then you feel bad about yourself and how you look. I have felt bad about my weight for a long time. I hate to look at my round belly and pudgy cheeks in the mirror. I kept telling myself I needed to lose weight, and I tried and failed. I just couldn’t give up my so called comfort foods. I just hated myself for being fat, yet I didn’t put enough determination into changing that.

Being told I have prediabetes awakened the determination I used to fight so many other challenges. I refuse to get diabetes. I refuse to have another illness to fight and overcome. I have had too many health problems, and I will not let myself have another one. So I came up with an action plan with the help of my friend Denise and my hubby.

My friend Denise and I have been working out this week. Three times this week I have gotten up at 8:30 am and Denise comes over around 9 am. We walk around the neighborhoods I live in or near. We also jog. On a bike rack near the elementary school, we do pushups and leg stretches. In the alley behind my home, we do stretches, lift weights, and other exercises. On Friday we walked around the blocks near my house, and we jogged. At the nursing home next door, we did steps up on a parking block, pushups on a picnic table, and I squat down onto the bench and stood up. By the time I was done, I was sweating.

Denise is very encouraging. When I feel like I can’t take another step, she tells me, “Come on, you can do it. Push through, just a little bit further.”

I push and I make it and then she says, “Let’s go a little further.”

I hurt in places I never thought I could hurt, but I feel proud of what I have accomplished. I feel confident that I can lose weight. I also noticed my spirits have lifted. I feel better about myself. I feel confident in my ability to lose weight and prevent diabetes. Instead of calling myself a fat pig, I’m thinking of how great I’ll look when I shed the pounds.

I’m not just exercising; I’m also changing the way I’m eating. My cousin told me of an App called Lose It. It keeps track of your calories and exercise. It’s hard to cut down on how much I eat and what I eat. I’m craving the things that are not good for me, and I’m always hungry, but in the end it will be worth it.

I bought some cookbooks to help me. The books are Diabetes and Heart Health Meals for Two by the American Diabetes Association, The Prediabtes Action Plan and Cookbook by Cheryl Mussatto, MS, RD, LD and The Everything Guide To Managing and Reversing Pre-Diabetes by Gretchen Scalpi, RD, CDN, CDE. I’m trying out recipes on my husband. I made a tuna casserole from one of the books that was delicious. I’m gathering ingredients for other recipes.

I bought fruits to snack on when I’m feeling down, and I’m adding vegetables to my meals. No more comfort food; now it’s healthy foods. I am eating sugar free candy in moderation. I don’t consider myself on a diet. Instead, I’m just changing the way I eat. Fruits and vegetables can also boost your mental health. Green leafy vegetables can help fight breast cancer. It’s cheaper to buy unhealthy foods, but more expensive when it comes to health problems. Healthy foods are more expensive, but cheaper when it comes to less doctor visits.

If you’re struggling with mental illness, breast cancer, or fighting off prediabetes, come up with an action plan. Becoming a healthier and stronger you will help you feel better. It’s hard work to get there, but you can do it. Do it for you. Do it to feel stronger, do it for good health, and do it to help you feel better about yourself. If I can do it, you can, too.

I’m still in the beginning stages of my action plan, but I am determined to follow it through. Because of my determination, I will prevent diabetes and continue to stand in the light as a stronger, healthier person.