Tag: mental illness disability

TOOLS OF COMFORT

Published on by Aimee Eddy1 Comment

When we are going through tough times, we have things we do or even something material that brings us comfort. Some have hobbies that bring them comfort, some find snuggling a stuffed animal brings them comfort, and some have a special object. When we are kids, we find comfort when afraid of monsters in the closet and the outside world in a special toy, a blanket, or even a pillow. Whatever you use to help ease your worrisome and troubled soul is important to you and is a part of your own coping technique. Just be sure your tools are healthy ones. Unhealthy tools are drugs and alcohol.

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How many of you watched the Dumbo cartoon movie as a child? I fell in love with the movie when I was a child. I related to Dumbo. He was teased for his big ears and I was teased for being learning disabled. I knew the agony he was feeling when his own kind laughed at him. I felt the same. We were both different. His mother tried to protect him, like my mom did. My mom fought with the school, trying to get me proper help and telling teachers I wasn’t hopeless. Dumbo’s mom was labeled a mad elephant for causing chaos to protect her son, and often my mom’s fight for me fell upon deaf ears.

I don’t remember what age I was when I fell in love with that cute elephant with big ears, but I was young. One Christmas I asked Santa to bring me a stuffed Dumbo for Christmas. I got a stuffed elephant with ears not as big as Dumbo’s, but I didn’t even notice. I loved my stuffed animal. He became my best friend and my tool of comfort. I took him to bed every night.

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The constant teasing I faced in school and the put downs by my teachers slowly led me into darkness. I began to have problems sleeping at night. I was plagued with night-mares and I worried about going to school the next day. I feared the darkness of the night. I lined my bed with stuffed animals. My mom wondered how I found enough room to lie down in my bed. I snuggled my Dumbo tight to my chest.

My elephant became my tool of comfort. I couldn’t go to bed without him. He made me feel safe. I squeezed him tight when I had night-mares and when I couldn’t sleep I snuggled with him and talked to him until I fell asleep. After a rough day at school, I sat in my room cuddling with my Dumbo until the tears went away. He became my best friend when I didn’t have one. I played with him, I cuddled him, and I confided in him. He was more than a stuffed animal to me.

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Recently my husband took me to see the new movie that just came out of Dumbo. Soon as it came out, I told my husband all about my toy and how much he meant to me. So last Sunday I got a day off and my husband took me to the movie. He wanted to buy me a stuffed Dumbo, but they were all out. He was able to get me a mug instead.

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The movie brought back old memories. I was relived my childhood through the movie. That night we were able to find a stuffed Dumbo online and we ordered it. The next morning I searched our attic and found my old stuffed elephant from my childhood. I began thinking about how much that stuffed elephant gave me comfort and I began thinking about my tools of comfort that I have as an adult.

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I no longer sleep with stuffed animals to get through the night. Instead I find comfort in my husband’s arms. When times are tough, I talk to my friends or I text them. I have my own support team: my husband, my parents, and my friends. The other day my friend Amy talked me through an anxiety attack. She, like my other friends, used what she learned from my blogs to help me.

I have found comfort in my dogs. I’ve had four different dogs in my adult years and each one brought me comfort in it’s own way. The dog I have now, Esther, likes to snuggle on my lap. When I went through surgery for a detached tendon, she didn’t leave my side. When I went through breast cancer, she stayed close. When I’m feeling down, she lies on my lap and nuzzles my hand with her nose until I pet her.

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Our tools of comfort help us cope with a harsh world and awful illnesses like mental illness, breast cancer, and so on. While dealing with chronic pain and other health problems my friend Cheryl finds comfort in taking pictures of birds. A young coworker carries a piece of a toy around with him. It gives him comfort when he’s stressed and anxious.

Find your tools of comfort to help you with your struggles. Jog, talk to friends, do crafts, sleep with a teddy bear, snuggle up with a pet, cuddle a special pillow, or play with a toy. Find whatever it is that helps you cope with mental illness, breast cancer, life, and so on. Whatever it is that helps you deal with the struggles you face in life, use it.

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I use my tools of comfort to face many trials in my life. I found comfort in digging up my old childhood treasure and remembering how important he was to little Aimee. I know there will be ups and downs in life and my tools of comfort will help me bathe in the light of recovery.

IS MENTAL ILLNESS A DISABILITY OR AN OBSTACLE?

Published on by Aimee Eddy8 Comments

Mental illness can also be classified as a disability. The dictionary defines a disability as “a condition (such as an illness or an injury) that damages or limits a person’s physical or mental abilities.” Mental illness does affect a person’s physical and mental abilities. It can be debilitating at times, and it can affect your ability to focus, make decisions, and think clearly. For some, their illness is so bad they are unable to work or function in society. Some need extra help. There are many who fall in a rut. They let their illness take over and they don’t even try to work or function. They just let the word “disability” define them as incapable to do anything when they are more than capable.

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I never considered my mental illness a disability. I saw it as another obstacle I had to work around. Even though I could barely get myself out of bed, I felt exhausted all day, I couldn’t keep much food down, and I struggled to concentrate, I never thought that my abilities were hindered. Despite my illness, I continued to go to my college classes and pass with good grades. It wasn’t easy, but I forced myself to keep going.

However, once my illness did become overwhelming and I had to take time off from college. During my time off, I could have given up and lay in bed all day. I did feel like my life was over and I was a failure, but something in me pushed me to keep going. I hit the bottom of the hole. I was injuring, suicidal, depressed, and unable to sleep at night. My thoughts were out of control and my soul was blanketed in darkness. I needed time off from school to take care of my illness, but staying home and doing nothing would have only made things worse. So I started looking for a job. First I started working at a fast food restaurant, and when they wouldn’t give me enough hours, I got a job at a grocery store. I had to make myself go to work despite the anguish that burned so deeply in my soul. I was sick, but was not unable to do anything. I had to keep going.

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I made mistakes with my schedule. One day, I thought I was off when I was supposed to work. I couldn’t remember the prices in the bakery department, and I was too depressed to talk to other employees. I could have easily given up and collected social security disability, but I refused to. I had to work around my illness and keep myself going. I started therapy and moved to the front end of the grocery store as a bagger. In time I made friends, started going out, and started to feel some relief from my illness. Once I reached recovery, I returned to college and got my degree.

Years later, when I fell back down the hole, I was hospitalized after being in an abusive relationship. I was determined I was not going to stay in the hospital long. I knew I had a long road to recovery, but nothing was going to stop me. I left the hospital within a week. I took time off from work. My therapist insisted I go on social security disability, but I told her, “No.” I said, “I want to work and I’m not disabled.” My therapist was upset. She was sure I could no longer handle my job, but I didn’t agree.

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I didn’t want to give up. I knew the road to recovery was hard, but I had to fight for it. My illness never made anything easy for me, nor did my learning disability, but I have always been up for a challenge. I could have easily taken the SSD and sat home and wallowed in my misery, but that wasn’t me. I had to work. I had to get out of the house and be around people. I had to keep going. To me, staying home and letting myself be labeled as disabled was giving up. I was never a quitter and never will be. I fought to graduate from school despite my learning disability, and I sure wasn’t going to stop fighting to keep working and being a productive part of society.

Even though you have an illness that affects your abilities physically and mentally, it doesn’t mean you are unable to do anything. Don’t let your illness stop you from doing what you want to. It’s not easy to work around your sickness, but it is possible. Don’t look at your illness as just a disability, but also as a challenge. You can work, you can become a part of society, and you can function. It will be hard, but you can do it. Don’t give up on yourself. Fight for recovery, fight to keep going, fight to finish college, fight to work a job, and fight to get up each morning. You can do it.

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Having a mental illness didn’t stop me from graduating from college, it didn’t stop me from keeping the same job for twenty-two years, it didn’t stop me from making friends, it didn’t stop me from writing my memoir, and it didn’t stop me from reaching recovery. Because I view my illness as an obstacle instead of a disability, nothing stands in my way. I’m reaching for the stars with my writing. Since I let nothing stand in my way, I feel as if I am floating within the light.