I remember the first time I gave a speech. It was in high school English class. Our teacher gave us instructions to write a speech for a topic I don’t remember. She told us our speeches would be put in a contest and if we won, we would have to read our speech before the whole high school. That scared me to death since I barely even talked in school. I prayed I wouldn’t win, but I won third place. I stood with sweaty hands on a stage before the whole high school, stumbling over my speech as I read it. I felt sick to my stomach. I vowed to never give a speech again, but God had other plans for me.
Then in college I took a speech writing class. Our assignment was to write a speech about a topic of our choice and present it to the class. We would be graded on our speech. I wrote about learning disabilities and famous people who had the disability. I wrote out my speech and then copied it onto index cards. I stood in front of the class once again, my hands were sweaty, my legs shook, and I stumbled through reading my speech. I barely got a passing grade. I decided I just could not give speeches. I wasn’t good at it.
Part of my learning disability is being able to memorize things. The only way I could pass tests in school was putting my notes on index cards and studying them for endless hours until they were burned into my brain. I had to read my speech for my college course because I couldn’t memorize it, and that was a mark against my grade. I felt like a failure.
Then many years later I got my memoir published and was invited to speak at book signings. I didn’t have to write a speech because it was my story. I let God guide me and I spoke from the heart. The words just flowed from me and everyone applauded when I finished. Afterwards they told me what a great speaker I was. That young girl who thought she was a failure at speaking was suddenly a success.
February 14 to the 16, depending on the weather, I am going to Massachusetts for some office openings and a conference for One Life Project. The CEO, Alex Kovarovic, wants me to write out my speech so that I limit it to fifteen minutes and I don’t make mistakes. He said I could read it, but I need to look like I’m not reading it. That would be impossible. Then Alex created an outline for my speech using artificial intelligence. The outline had five sections ranging from three hundred words to six hundred. I felt my insides twist and turn. There would be no way I could memorize it or look like I’m not reading it. Plus, how could I get that many words written in two weeks?
Would I be a failure at giving this speech like I was the other times? Would I look like I was inexperienced reading it? Would I make a fool out of myself?
I sat down to write my introduction. I wrote it and rewrote it several times. Then I wrote the second part, and it just flowed from me. I plan on writing the next section on Monday. I’m writing a speech about my story of bullying and mental illness. How can I mess up my own life experiences? It’s the same speech I gave at my book signings. I know my story by heart, and I just know each of the other parts will flow from me. I feel that even though my speech will be written out, I will remember it because it’s my story. I’ll print my speech out in larger print, highlight the different sections, and use it as a guide to get through each section correctly.
I’m not that scared high schooler or college student anymore. I have established myself as a speaker and there’s no reason why I can’t give a good speech from what I have written. My friends and husband said I can practice on them. I’ll just keep practicing until I get the wording right. I have grown as a person since I gave my written speeches in high school and college. I have better self-esteem, I’m more confident, and I have climbed out of my walls of protection.
My speech will be recorded on social media, and I hope to put it on this blog after it’s posted. I will share it on my social media sites.
Sometimes I doubt my ability to do things. The young Aimee who felt like a loser resurfaces within me. When that happens, I doubt myself. When I realize what I’m doing, I have to remind myself I’m not that person anymore. I can do anything I put my mind to. My determination has guided me through many challenges in my life and I have accomplished a lot because I pushed past my fears. I will push past my fears again and do this speech well.
Because of my determination, I overcame bullying, recovered from mental illness, beat cancer, and much more. My determination helps me stand confidently in the light of recovery.
aimeeeddy.com 