Due to the news, TV shows, and society’s misinformed ideas, there is a lot of stigma surrounding mental illness. Because of this, many who are struggling do so in silence, fearing what others would think of them. The sad part is many never get the help they need and end up using unhealthy coping techniques like drugs, alcohol, and self-injury. The problem is that stigma follows the unhealthy coping techniques too.

Self-injury is plagued with stigma and myths. People do not understand what it is, and they make untrue assumptions about it. Those assumptions leave the one self-harming feeling scared and alone.

Below are some myths that lead to the stigma surrounding self-injury.

• It’s done for attention. Many think people hurt themselves just so others will feel sorry for them and give them the attention they desire. This is completely untrue. Self-injury is an unhealthy coping technique, a sign someone is struggling, and a silent call for help. It is often hidden so as not to bring attention to oneself.
• It’s a suicide attempt. Self-injurers are not hurting themselves as a means to take their lives. It’s not a failed attempt at suicide. They are doing it to control powerful emotions, to feel something, or to punish themselves.
• It’s done to hurt others. The only person the self-harmer wants to hurt is himself or herself. They have no intention to hurt anyone else. They usually hide their injuries under long sleeves or do it on parts of their bodies where no one can see it. If he or she shows his or her injuries, the person is telling you he or she is really struggling and needs help.
• The injurer likes pain. Just because the person harms him or herself does not mean he or she likes pain. Many do not like pain at all, but they don’t know any other way to deal with their illness. The injury is a temporary relief and often the harmer feels guilty, ashamed, and sad afterwards. If a self-harmer gets an unintentional injury and needs stitches, he or she still needs to be numb. They don’t willingly want that kind of pain.
• It’s caused by past abuse. It’s not done because a person was abused in the past. People who have never been abused self-injure. Anyone with a mental illness may turn to self-harm as an unhealthy coping technique or as a cry for help.
• The self-injurer is crazy. People who harm themselves are not crazy. People with mental illness are often referred to as crazy when they are not. The dictionary defines crazy as mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild, aggressive way. People who injure and have a mental illness do not fit this description. They are struggling with an illness like any other illness, except it’s of the mind. They are in no way deranged.
• Ignore self-injurers and they will stop. They may stop eventually with the right help, but you should never ignore them. The self-harmer is crying out for help and is silently struggling with something awful. Acknowledge that the person is struggling and help him or her find someone that can help the person. By ignoring them, you are telling them you don’t care, and this leads to more isolation and pain. Be supportive.

The best thing you can do for a friend or family member who is struggling with mental illness and self-harming is to educate yourself, be supportive, encourage him or her to find help, and be willing to help them get help. Don’t believe stigma or myths. Look for the truth. Knowing the facts can save a person from struggling alone.

The more we know about self-harming and the more strugglers tell their stories, the better we can fight stigma. We need to open doors so we can talk about this illness without judgment. Then maybe more strugglers will get the help they need.

It took me a while to ask for help with my self-injuring. I didn’t understand it and I didn’t know how to ask for help. When I finally asked for help, I found it and have not injured in twenty-three years. I stand in the light of recovery with healthy coping techniques.