Tag: Dreams

FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Everyone has dreams for the future. We dream of finding our true love, of owning a bakery, writing a book, becoming a lawyer, and so on. Our dreams drive us to strive to make them come true, but sometimes when we struggle with mental illness, we feel like dreams are hopeless. We see our dark little world and suddenly the future seems like a road into more agony.

I have had several people who struggle with mental illness tell me, “Because of my mental illness I have to give up my dreams.” Or they say, “With my mental illness I can’t follow my dreams.”

I once thought this way. When I hit the bottom of my dark hole, I stopped writing. My father kept asking me when I was going to write a book. My excuse was because of my illness I’ll never be able to write a book. I thought my dream to publish a book could never come true. I stopped trying. I told myself it was hopeless. I thought of myself as a failure. I was just a worthless loser. I put my paper and pen down and sat in despair.

When I started on my path to recovery, I began writing again; I wrote short stories and essays. I had a few essays and a couple of humorous stories published. I even won a special award for a short humorous story, but I still believed I could not write a book. My parents asked me when I was going to write a book. My answer was, “I can’t; I can only write short stories.” I still could not believe in myself enough to strive to make my dream to publish a book come true. My dreams couldn’t come true. But I was wrong.

When I met my husband, I still struggled with bouts of depression and bad self-esteem. He changed my life. Every day he complimented me and encouraged me. He even agreed to go to couples’ counseling with me to learn how to handle my illness. With his help I strove to reach recovery. On that road towards the light, I attempted to write a book, but I gave up. Five years ago, I decided I was going to write and publish my memoir. I started writing, Escape to the Garage: Family Love Overcomes Bullying.

I struggled with reliving powerful emotions and self-doubt. I told my husband several times, “I can’t write this. My writing sucks.” Continuously, he encouraged me to keep writing. He told me to follow my dream.

Each night, before he went to bed, he said, “You’re going to write tonight, right?”

I hugged him. “Yes, I’ll write tonight.”

When I came to bed he’d wake up and ask, “How many pages did you write?”

When I needed a break to handle the memories and heal the wounds of the past, he reminded me that I could not give up on my dream. At times the emotions of the abuse the younger me felt were so powerful I felt like I couldn’t go on. My husband reminded me of how far I had come and that I could not give up when I was so close to making my dream come true. I started to believe in myself, in my dream. With each chapter I wrote, my writing improved and my dream got closer.

When I got to chapter 20, I started daydreaming of holding my book in my hand and giving talks about bullying. By the time I finished my first draft, I was dreaming of my launch party. My dream of publishing a book was coming true. When my book was finally published, I couldn’t wait until my first box of books came in the mail. I checked my front porch each day, hoping they would arrive early. I was jumping for joy when they finally arrived. I can’t tell you how wonderful it felt to hold my dream that I once thought would never come true in my hand. I was floating among the stars.

2022 was the year I made my dream come true. The year I started my work as an advocate against bullying by giving talks about my experiences and the harm bullying does. I have spoken at libraries, a historical society, a girl scout troop, and at the YMCA. Now my dream is to speak at schools and I’m going to strive to make that come true.

Don’t give up dreams just because you have a mental illness. It may take you longer to achieve it and you will have to work towards recovery before you can reach it, but dreams can come true. Never give up or stop following your dreams. If you are really struggling with your illness, put your dreams aside until you get stronger. Once you have your illness under control, strive to make it come true. If I can do it, so can you.

Because I followed my dream and made it come true, I stand proud in the light of recovery.

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TALKING TO A GIRL SCOUT TROOP

Published on by Aimee Eddy1 Comment

As an anti-bullying advocate, I talk to adults and children about the effects of bullying. Most of my talks have been to adults, and that’s important. Adults get bullied, too, and many adults have children in their lives who are dealing with bullying. My biggest goal has been to talk to children. Bullying is a big problem in our schools, leading children to mental health problems, behavioral problems, suicide, and attempts at suicide.

I work as a cashier in a grocery store. During the winter the girl scouts set up tables to sell cookies. I work on express checkout, and the girls were set up next to that checkout. I told the leaders about my book and that I was an anti-bullying advocate. I gave the leaders my business card. One of the parents with the girls had been my physical therapist when I had back surgery and other health problems. She spoke to the leader of that troop with me.

That leader later contacted me to speak to her troop of girls in first through fifth grades. I suggested the leader invite the parents, too. The event was last Wednesday. I usually don’t plan my talks, but this was my first talk for children, I wrote an outline for my speech. I was nervous about bringing my talk down to a level young children would understand. When I stood up and gave my speech, my words just flowed from me. I knew how important it was to reach young children and tell them about bullying because my bullying started in first grade.

The girls listened and raised their hands to tell me about things that happened to them, or things they saw happen to others. They also raised their hands to ask questions. I told one girl a secret and had her pass it around the room. Funny thing is the girls got the secret right, but an adult got it wrong. I used that as an example on how passing around gossip can start out as one thing and by the time it gets passed around, it turns into something different.

I told the girls how each of our differences makes us beautiful and special. I told them we should never judge anyone for being different, and we should never change who we are to fit in. The girls listened intently. I told them that if you must change who you are and bully someone to fit in with others, it’s not worth it. The best friend they could have might be that person everyone puts down.

I told them about my dream to write a book. Then I asked them if they had dreams. Many raised their hands more than once. They had a variety of dreams like being teachers, artist, authors, and much more. I encouraged them to follow their dreams no matter how hard it is.

I asked the girls how many of them had faced bullying. My heart broke when half the girls raised their hands. I encouraged them to talk to their parents or other adults they trust about the bullying. I told them they can’t handle bullying without support from people that love them. I urged the parents to fight for their children and consider looking into therapy if the bullying is persistent.

I told the girls to be kind to everyone, and if they can’t be nice, then don’t say anything. I closed the talk by telling the girls they are each princesses who deserve to be treated kindly and who should also be nice to others. At the end the girls thanked me for coming and applauded me.

Afterward the parents gave some their daughters money to buy my book. I signed the books, including the girls’ names and in each book, I wrote “Stand up against bullying. You are special.” They also had an ice cream social after my talk. While I ate my ice cream, I talked with the mothers. They were impressed by my talk and told me I need to talk in schools. That is a goal of mine for the fall.

When I got home, I was so happy with my speech that I felt like I was flying high. My first talk to children was a big success. I was able to ease into talking to children without any problems and the girls participated well. I know they learned a lot and the parents also learned.

Talking to people of all ages about bullying and its effects helps me soars in the light of recovery.