My husband has been having a hard time for a couple of years now. It started with his job doing remodeling over two years, leaving him laid off or working less hours. We have been struggling financially, and he felt like he wasn’t contributing enough. Then the same job of thirty-four years let him go. He got a new job, and they let him go after only nine days. Now he has an illness that has taken away his freedom of driving and ability to work. It felt like he couldn’t win, and I just wanted to make things better for him.
After applying to countless jobs and doing interviews with no prospect of a new job, my husband felt defeated. Then on top of that in January his unemployment benefit was about to expire. We decided his best bet was to file for early retirement, and then he would work part-time. I helped him file for Social Security Retirement online, and we continued to look for part-time jobs for him. The diagnosis of his illness tore apart his plans, leaving him devastated and angry. I just wanted to cheer him up.
I messaged a friend that I wanted to throw him a retirement party, but we were struggling financially. We couldn’t afford for him to retire early, but we had no choice. My friend suggested we go to Pizza Hut and have everyone chip in for the cost of the pizzas. I told her that was a great idea, and I would plan the party once his retirement was official.
In February my husband got his first retirement check, and I started planning his party. I decided the party would be a surprise. I told him we couldn’t afford a party for him, so I treated him to his favorite restaurant for dinner the day he got his first check. He seemed understanding. I told him maybe we could have a picnic with friends in the summer to celebrate and asked him who he wanted me to invite. I planned his party for March 19 at Pizza Hut, and he had no idea. I went to work inviting our friends and his friends, telling each one of them it was a surprise. I listed the people who I invited in my journal, knowing he would never see it.
Once the party date was decided and friends were invited, I had to come up with a way to get him to the party. I needed to be at the restaurant early to make sure tables were set up and to greet the guests. I needed an excuse. So I told him I was going to a friend’s house for dinner. I asked our friend Kelly to invite Lou to dinner the night of the party. The plans were set, but my sneaking around wasn’t over.
I needed to order him a cake. Since I work in a grocery store, that would be easy. I just told him I had to leave for work early to pick up prescriptions. I ordered the cake and picked up prescriptions. I started thinking about the perfect gift to get him and how I would hide the gift from him. I browsed Amazon and found him the perfect shirt. On the shirt it says, “Retired. Under new management. See wife for details.” Since Lou is at home and would get packages that arrive, how would I keep him from wondering what the package is and keep him from opening it? I came up with the perfect idea. We just got our tax money and gave each other a little to buy things we needed. So, I told him a package was coming with a new shirt for me.
When the package arrived, I quietly snuck it upstairs to my office/spare room/storage room. I took a sigh of relief when he didn’t ask me about my new shirt and didn’t ask me to put it on for him like I usually do when I get new clothes.
A few days before the party Kelly invited my husband to dinner with her husband and her. He was happy he wouldn’t be sitting home alone. I talked about my dinner at my friend’s house and told him I was happy knowing he wouldn’t be home by himself.
The day of the party I left the house at 5:15 PM to pick up the cake and go to Pizza Hut. He told me to let him know when I made it to my friend’s house.
At 6:00 PM all the guests arrived, and we waited patiently for Kelly to arrive with my husband. Kelly texted me when she picked him up and we were ready. When he walked into Pizza Hut, we all said, “Surprise!” The look on his face was priceless. A smile I hadn’t seen in a while shined brightly. The next day he was still feeling the high from his surprise party. I couldn’t be happier that I brought him joy during a very rough time in his life. His cake had black and yellow confetti on it and Steelers rings in the corner. In the middle in black it said, “Happy Retirement.” Anyone who knows my husband knows he’s a huge Steelers fan.
That night and days to follow my husband thanked me for his party. I relished his joy. Bringing light to a dark time in his life made me feel good. We endured the hard times together and together we celebrated a new chapter in his life.
Throwing this party for my husband during a hard time in his life and my life helps me stand happily in the light of recovery.
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