With the holidays come stress, anxiety, and depression. For many with mental illness the holidays are a very rough time of year bringing many expectations. We are often put out of our comfort zone, we feel lonely, we expect more out of ourselves than we can do, and so on. Many with mental illness find themselves falling deeper into that hole while others are celebrating and having fun.

How do we cope with the holidays? How do we make it through Christmas without having a breakdown? The answer to these questions is to use coping techniques. Below are a few coping techniques that may help you.

Coping techniques:

• Don’t overexert yourself. If your house isn’t sparkling clean, that’s okay. People do not come to see your home, but to see you. Do the best you can and let it be. If cooking a whole meal is too much for you, ask others to bring a dish or get one of those already cooked meals from a restaurant or store. Doing more than you are able to do can deepen your illness.
• Do something special for a loved one you lost. Holidays are hard when you have lost a loved one. Do something special in remembrance of your loved one like light a candle, make his or her favorite dish, put a stocking up for him or her, go to a service for those who lost loved ones, and so on. Make their memory a special part of your holiday.
• It’s okay to say no. If you are feeling overwhelmed by large crowds and your friends want you to go to a party, it’s okay to say no. Don’t punish yourself for saying no. Ask your friend to do something with just the two of you. If your family wants you to make Christmas dinner and it’s too much stress and anxiety for you to handle, it’s okay to say no.
• Take care of yourself. If you’re feeling down because of the holidays, make it a point to get up in the morning, be sure to eat, and take a shower. Get out of bed and find something to do that is relaxing to you like a craft, adult coloring book, or crossword puzzles. If you feel overwhelmed, take a relaxing bath, or play your favorite music. Don’t forget to take your medication.
• Don’t isolate yourself. If being alone triggers your illness and makes it worse, then find a friend or family member who can visit you or you can visit. Don’t dodge phone calls from your family and friends. Make extra therapy appointments. Try treating yourself to a movie or a Christmas show. Don’t hide in your home or room, sinking deeper and deeper down the hole. If you need to call a crisis hotline, call it.
• Lean on your support team. Your support team should be friends and family members whom you’ve educated about your illness. They are there for you to lean on. Confide in them and listen to their advice. Don’t worry about ruining their holidays or being a burden. You chose them to help you for a reason so call, text, or visit them.
• Keep a budget. Gifts and dinner supplies along with your normal bills are expensive. Decide on a budget for your holiday supplies and gifts and don’t go over it. It’s not how much you spend that counts; it’s the love that goes into it that’s important. It’s okay to buy cheaper gifts or to even make your own gifts. Going broke buying the best and most popular gifts and supplies isn’t wise if you can’t afford it. Adding to credit card bills, skipping household bills, and going without essentials to buy gifts only increases stress, anxiety, and depression. Keeping to a budget you can afford will help you feel better.
• Be proud of the small steps. If you overcome your depression to get out of bed, pat yourself on the back. If you went out of the house, even if it was to put a Christmas card in the neighbor’s mailbox, be proud of yourself. If you take a shower, be proud of yourself. If you went online and bought a loved one a Christmas gift, pat yourself on the back. Small steps are important ones. Don’t shrug them off; be happy that you were able to accomplish them and celebrate them.
• If you have no family, still celebrate. If your family lives far away or you have no, one don’t sit alone and dwell on being by yourself. Many places offer free meals and restaurants serve holiday meals; take part in those. Have your own celebration and invite a lonely neighbor or co-worker. Remember the reason for the holiday and celebrate that.

Holidays are supposed to be a joyous time of year. With commercialism we put too much into things we buy, and this can cause mental illness to worsen. Follow some of these coping techniques and talk to your therapist about other techniques to help you get through the holidays.

The holidays increase my stress and anxiety, but by practicing coping techniques I can find the joy in them. Finding the joy in the holidays helps me celebrate in God’s gifts and the light of recovery.