Tag: Memoir

WRITER’S BLOCK AND MENTAL HEALTH

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

Some people think that writer’s block doesn’t exist, but it does. I learned in a one day writing conference that there are things that cause writer’s block, such as something is wrong with the story, physical problems, and emotional problems. Sometimes there is something wrong with your WIP (work in progress) that you just can’t figure out. You could also be going through physical problems that may make writing hard. Your mental health can affect your ability to concentrate and write.

I have been searching for the reason I can write this blog but not my next memoir. The words won’t come to me, and I’ve lost the inspiration to work on it. The workshop I took spoke to me. As the instructor talked about the mental health issues that affect a person’s ability to write, I realized that is the reason I can’t work on my next memoir.

I kind of knew what was wrong with my husband before he was diagnosed, but I hoped it was something else. Hearing the doctor’s say diagnosis confirmed what I thought was wrong, shredded my hopes, and made everything very real. I attempted to fight back my tears, but they came anyway. At that moment my whole life, my whole world changed.

I have been in recovery from mental illness for years, but since my husband’s diagnosis I’ve been struggling. My husband is the love of my life, and I have depended on him for many things. To find out he’s sick and only going to get sicker has sent me in and out of depression. I have many emotions running through me. I’m angry, I’m sad, I’m frustrated, I’m scared, and much more. I’m trying hard to be strong, but sometimes I feel weak.

I know my husband is sad about his illness. I don’t blame him, but I don’t know how to help him. I take him for rides after work, I try to do fun things with him, and I attempt to get him to talk about his feelings. He has always taken care of me. When I had a bad day with my mental illness, he always knew how to lift my spirits and help me through it. When I was sick, he would take care of me and wait on me. When I had surgery, he took care of me and took me for rides. He always made sure I took my medication.

Now my husband and I have switched roles. I have had seven surgeries and health problems, and he was my caregiver through it all. Now I’m his caregiver. I’m happy to do it. I married him to be there through sickness and health. I believe he’s stronger than I am. He took care of me without showing sadness or any other emotions. Maybe he kept his feelings inside, but some days I just want to lie in bed and cry while taking care of him. I try to hide my tears, but he sees them.

It’s hard to work on my next memoir when I’m trying to deal with all these emotions I have about my husband’s illness. To write my next memoir I must be strong enough to relive the past, and right now I don’t feel strong enough. I’m dealing with too many emotions to take on reliving past emotions. I can write this blog post because I don’t go deep into my feelings to write most of these.

I wrote down my thoughts and feelings about not being able to write and let my therapist read it. She read it and we discussed it. She told me she’ll help me deal with my feelings and told me she’s proud of me with how I am handling everything. That meant the world to me, because I feel like I’m doing a bad job at handling everything. I have been afraid that I would never be able to finish my book, and I would only have one published book. I’m now hopeful that she will be able to help me get back to writing my next memoir.

If you’re struggling with writer’s block because of mental health issues, journal out your feelings, try coping techniques, and get help. Once you take care of your mental health, you’ll be able to work on your WIP again.

I believe with the help of my therapist I will be able to overcome my writers block and finish my next memoir. Working though my feelings and learning to cope with my husband’s illness will help me climb back into the light of recovery again.

MY NEXT MEMOIR

Published on by Aimee Eddy3 Comments

It’s been a little while since I worked on my next memoir, The Years After the Garage. With all the hard times going on in my life, I haven’t been in the right mind set to relive my past. Plus, I’m learning a new role at One Life Project and that has been exciting, scary, and a bit overwhelming. Today, Saturday the twenty-eighth, I had the day off from work and it happened to be when Pennwriters meet in person. I haven’t been to an in person meeting in months. So, I printed out chapter one of my memoir and took it to the group.

I arrived there a little before one o’clock. There were some people I knew and some people who were new to me. I have reworked chapter one a couple of times, trying to make sure this book could keep the readers interest if they had not read the first one. That involved giving some details about things that happened in the first book. Details like coffee break was a break that the guys at E.L. Eddy and Sons Garage took. The new people who never read the first book said the memoir worked well as a stand-alone book. Even those who read the first book agreed.

One woman asked if I should add my perspective from me as an adult looking back. I explained that would take my readers out of the story. A good memoir brings the readers into the story and allows them to live each part with the author. I want my readers to cry, to get mad, to feel sad, to laugh, and to rejoice with the teenage me. This shows the readers what it’s like to go through bullying and to slide into mental illness. If I put the adult me into it, then I take the readers out of the story.

Minor grammar errors were found in my chapter. It was suggested to cut the chapter into two chapters, but that would make one eight pages long and the other one four pages long. I’m not sure if I can have chapters in such different lengths. I may have to add to the four pages chapter. When I got home, I talked with another memoir writer and posted on We Love Memoirs Authors group on Facebook to ask about the chapter lengths. Once I figure out what to do, I will know if I need to add, and then I will work on that. By splitting chapters I went from six chapters to eight, putting me further along in my memoir.

My first book was about bullying and finding acceptance from family. The second book focuses on mental illness and the accomplishments I make despite being sick. It shows the pressure I put on myself to succeed. What helps me deal with the mental illness is my writing and woodburning. The bullying I face in this book is a little different than what I faced in grade school. Bullying comes in many forms such as gossip, physical abuse, destruction of personal objects, and being ignored. I’m not going to tell you which one of these I face in the next book.

One theme I want to make clear in this book is that even though a person has mental illness, he or she can still accomplish a lot in his or her life. Mental illness doesn’t mean you cannot fulfill your dreams or succeed at your goals. I achieved a lot while struggling with my illness. It did make things harder, and I put myself through hell to reach my goals, but I did it. This book will show that.

The good news is after this meeting I am inspired to keep working on my next memoir. I came home and split a couple chapters up and reworked some scenes. I wanted to get this book done in two years, but it’s already been a year since I started it. I can’t write every day like many authors do. I write when I’m emotionally strong enough and inspired. I do hope it won’t take me four years to write it like it did the first one.

If you want to keep updated monthly on what is going on with my writing and One Life Project, sign up for my newsletter at http://eepurl.com/iuzWqw and get a gift for signing up.

Writing is my way of healing from the past and dealing with my emotions. When I’m not working on a book, I’m journaling. Releasing my feelings and past in words helps me stay in the light of recovery.

NEW STARTS AND WHAT’S HAPPENING

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

I thought it was time to let you know what is going on with my book and my writing. They’re at a slow point, but they’re about to pick up. I put aside setting up talks and book signings for a bit as I struggled with my asthma. My asthma has been out of control, and I have a pulmonary function test and I see a specialist at the end of the month to hopefully get answers. Even though I have been struggling I haven’t given up. I have been busy planning and writing. Here is what I have been up to and what is to come. 

Last week I couldn’t write my blog post because of computer problems. I usually write on my couch, using a lap desk with the sound of the TV playing in the background. I sat down to work on a chapter about the years after we sold the garage when my dog, Esther, needed to go out. I sat my lap desk with the computer on it on the couch beside me. My computer slipped off and landed on the floor. The screen went black and refused to turn back on. My screen had blown. I put my frustrations about the loss of my computer on Facebook and a co-worker and friend messaged me she had a laptop for me. I got the new computer last Saturday, so instead of writing a blog post I was setting up all my programs. 

When I asked my friend if I could give her something for the computer she said, “You don’t need to give me anything. I know how important your writing is.” 

I got a partial scholarship to attend Saint Davids Christian Writers conference. I needed to come up with another $225. Finances have been hard this year. I was ready to decline the scholarship, thinking my husband and I couldn’t come up with the extra amount when my cousin suggested I start a GoFundMe. The next day I started the GoFundMe, and in one day I raised enough money to go to the conference. June 21 to the 25 I will be attending Saint Davids Christian Writers Conference at Allegheny College in Meadville, PA. I am excited to learn new techniques and information about writing. Conferences help us make connections with other writers and with publishers and agents. It also helps us improve our writing careers. 

I have been toying with two new ideas for books. My plan for my next book was to write a book compiling my blog posts. My friend Roberta has agreed to organize them for me, but she has been busy. I’m not quite sure where to start that book. So, I decide to wait for Roberta and see what posts she picks out for my book. Last week I decided to start chapter one on the years after the garage. I have nine pages written. I don’t know yet how to end the chapter. In Escape to the Garage: Family Love Overcomes Bullying, the chapters ended with coffee break and adventures at the garage. Now the garage is gone; in the next book I must search my memory for a new ending to my chapters.  I plan to get a start on my book using my blogs once I decide how to start it and see what posts Roberta chooses for it.  

Wednesday I am talking in the children’s section of Patterson Library in Westfield, NY. It’s about a forty-five drive from my home. I’m excited. My English teacher who helped me enter contests and edited my writing in high school volunteers at that library. I’m hoping she will attend my talk and I will get a chance to thank her for all she did for me. I haven’t seen her since I graduated from high school. I’m also looking forward to talking to children and their parents about bullying. If you live in the area, come see me. It starts at 4 P.M. 

I work for a grocery store as a cashier. While girl scouts were selling their cookies at the store, I told the leaders about my book and my advocacy against bullying and handed them a business card. Last month a girl scout leader messaged me on messenger and asked me to speak to her troop. The troop will be  girls from first to fifth grade. I also asked the leader to invite the parents. The leader said she’ll pay me twenty-five dollars to speak. I believe it’s very important to tell children of all ages how hurtful bullying is. I will be talking to the troop and their parents on May 24 at 6 P.M. 

There will also be some new things happening with the One Life Project where I am director of Education and Research. The leader of the organization has big plans for me. I will let you know soon about what is to come.  

I have a lot going on in my life and I’m excited. Following my dreams, advocating against bullying, and starting new adventures keeps me pushing forward in the light of recovery.