Tag: Self-esteem

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD LOVE YOURSELF

Published on by Aimee Eddy3 Comments

Each person on this earth is different and special. We have unique qualities that make us beautiful inside and out. There is no such thing as an ugly person. You might think you’re ugly when in fact you’re beautiful in many ways. Sometimes it’s hard to love ourselves. It’s easy to lose your self-esteem and to hate yourself when you struggle with mental illness. Especially when others put you down throughout your life. How do you love that person who’s looking back at you in the mirror? Why should you love yourself?

After being bullied throughout school, I learned to dislike myself. When I was at my worst with mental illness, I began to hate myself even more. I thought I was ugly, stupid, and worthless. As I worked towards recovery, I learned that there were many reasons why I should love myself.

Here are some reasons you should love yourself:

  • You deserve to love yourself. You are a special person, and you deserve all the love you can give yourself. Be kind to yourself especially while you are struggling with mental illness. While darkness is clouding your mind, you need self-love to soothe your aching soul. You deserve the very best. Give it to yourself.
  • You can’t love others until you love yourself. You can think you love another person, but how can you truly feel love for others when you can’t love yourself? You can’t give a part of you to someone else if you can’t give it to yourself. You might find yourself drawn to bad relationships because you think that’s what you deserve, but you don’t deserve that. You deserve a good, loving relationship, but to find that relationship you must love the person you are.
  • You’re worth it. You are unique and beautiful in many ways inside out. Behind your illness is a fun, loving, kind, and wonderful person. You are priceless. You’re worth being loved and cared for. You’re worth more than money or material things. You can’t be replaced. You are worth being loved, finding recovery, and finding joy.
  • You’re important. You might not see it, but you are important. Your life has meaning, and you have meaning. You are more than a person struggling with a horrible illness. You make a difference in this world even if you can’t see it. You touch people’s lives with a smile, a kind word, a gesture, and much more. You are important to the people who love you. You’re important to society. Your knowledge and abilities can make a difference in the world.
  • You can’t be a good friend without self-love. When you don’t love yourself, you can’t see past your self-hate to care for another person. Friends care and love each other selflessly. They give each other a part of themselves. How can you give a part of yourself if you don’t even like yourself? If you love yourself, you can give that to others and share in their joys and hard times. But without love you can’t see beyond your own misery to give to others.
  • God loves you. God made you and he loves you endlessly. He doesn’t make mistakes. He made you beautiful and wonderful in many ways.

If these are not enough reasons to learn to love yourself, then what are? Look deep in yourself and list the different things about yourself you like. On index cards write nice things about yourself and place them around your home or room. Each day read those cards. Split a piece of paper in half, on one side write a bad thought about yourself and on the other side write something positive about yourself. Work with a therapist to learn techniques on how to love yourself.

Once you love yourself, you’ll see the world in a different way. You’ll have healthier relationships, your future will be brighter, and you’ll feel better.  Remember you are worth it, you’re important. and you deserve it. Don’t worry if you fall in a rut and struggle with liking yourself. When this happens, pull out those index cards and read them; write that list again and remind yourself why you love the person you are. It took me years to love myself inside and out, and at times I struggle with self-love. When I struggle, I journal about the things I like about myself and I remind myself the reasons why I should love myself. Because I practice self-love, I have wonderful friends, a loving relationship with my husband, and a happy life in the light of recovery.

HELPING THE YOUTH

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

When I was in school, I struggled with mental illness, and I had no idea what was wrong with me. I kept my struggle to myself because I feared no one would understand the horrible feelings that plagued me. I fought deep sadness, inner pain, and racing thoughts in silence. When I went to school, in the seventies and eighties mental illness wasn’t talked about in or out of school.

Sad woman silhouette sitting alone on white background

My struggles followed me into college and adulthood. Now I work for One Life Project to help children find help and to educate them, so they don’t have to struggle alone.

I started with One Life Project in 2018 when it was called National Internet Safety and Cyberbullying Taskforce, and I have watched it grow as it changed into One Life Project (OLP). With One Life Project I believe I’m reaching out and touching one life at a time and making a difference. OLP helps make the world a kinder place where we advocate for, educate, and support youth with their mental health in the hopes to prevent suicide in our youth and to end the stigma surrounding mental health.

I started writing blog posts in 2018 for the Taskforce. I also helped interview volunteers and set up events. I was totally confused and nervous about my role of setting up events. Then when the Taskforce became One Life Project I took on new roles first as a director, then as the president’s assistant, and now as executive president of educational outreach and advocacy. As I take on my new role, I am learning to become a leader and advocate. I learned that I’m good at doing research, and I’m learning how to put projects together such as workbooks for college students. So far, I’ve helped edit a self-esteem workbook and I’m currently helping the president put together a sexual assault workbook. The next workbook I will be working on is deals with teen bullying, a subject I have become well acquainted with.

I believe strongly in the work One Life is doing, the projects I’m working on, and the subjects I’m researching. I believe if we can educate our youth early and support them then they can reach recovery from mental illness before they reach their adulthood. No child should struggle in silence and feel afraid to ask for help. No child should feel there is no help and the only way to receive relief is by taking his or her life. No parent should be confused with what is going on with their child or not knowing how to help their child. Working with OLP I’m helping to make sure that our youth and their parents are educated.

The workbooks and the educational materials I’m taking part in is going to help thousands of our youth with some very rough times in their lives. I’m proud to be a part of this. I don’t want to see our teens, our college students, and our young adults struggle like I did. Each youth is important and deserves to be educated, supported, and advocated for.

If mental health was talked about and taught when I was young, I may have never struggled into my adulthood or kept my struggles quiet. I would have been able to turn to my parents without fear, and they would have known how to help me. Instead, I learned after hitting rock bottom and trying to take my life from a pamphlet I found at college that I had an illness. After that I took a year off from college and got the help I needed. It has taken me into my adult years to reach recovery.

I’m still learning my role as executive president of educational outreach and advocacy, but I’m excited to grow as a leader and advocate. OLP is also helping me grow as a person and learn new things about myself. Check out One Life Project at https://www.projectonelife.org/

Working for One Life Project and believing in their mission is helping me grow into a better person and stand proudly in the light of recovery.

ALWAYS BE YOURSELF

Published on by Aimee Eddy4 Comments

High school is a hard time for teens. They are at the dating age, they face peer pressure, and they work hard to fit in. If you dress differently, are too skinny or too big–boned or have any noticeable difference, you are teased and put down. Many try to change who they are to be part of the popular crowd or to fit in. Bullies are people who act aggressively towards people who are different. They pick out someone whom they determine is weak and abuse the person physically, verbally, or by cyberbullying. They prey on people who dare to be different.

My older sister was in the most current style before the others in our small-town school. She wore lots of makeup and got up early in the morning to do her hair just right. She was beautiful. I just got up in enough time to brush my hair, get dressed, and go to school. Even as a child she was a girly girl. I was always the opposite of her. I was a tomboy. I played with cars and action figures. I didn’t mind getting dirty. My older sister played with dolls and hated getting dirty. My parents loved us for the individuals we were.

I spent my childhood being bullied for having a learning disability and then in high school they found new things to put me down for. As a teen I liked tee shirts, sweatshirts, and jeans. Some of my clothes came from yard sales. I didn’t care about what was considered in style or doing the latest hair style. I hated makeup and nail polish. I was what my classmates and other teens considered an outcast. Many teens in my school picked on me about my clothes and hair. They abused me verbally for being my own person. They made me feel ugly and worthless. I wanted to fit in, but I liked my own style, which was simple.

Then a couple of teachers in my special education class decided to hold a beauty day for all the girls in the class. They had a beautician and makeup artist come in and make us up. I hated every minute of it, but I was willing to give it a try so that maybe I could fit in with everyone else. The eye shadow made my eyes itch, rubbing foundation into my skin felt weird, my eyes watered, making the mascara run, and I couldn’t help but lick my lips, wiping away the lipstick. My hair was curled and styled with a curling iron, and when I looked in a mirror I felt like I was staring at a stranger.

The teachers were trying to help me without realizing they were asking me to change who I was to fit in. I went along with it, and I tried to do lipstick and eye shadow on my own. I tried different hairstyles, but it didn’t change things. I was still an outcast and I only hated myself more. I felt ugly in my new style, and I felt like I wasn’t being true to myself. This only deepened my depression and destroyed my self-worth.

Through this experience I learned to never change who you are to fit in. Be true to yourself even if your classmates and your bully use it to put you down. Trying to be someone you are not only deepens your lack of self-worth and your depression. Be the person, the unique individual, you are meant to be and the person you feel comfortable with. Don’t let anyone change who you are just so you can be accepted by others.

Many teens who dress like the popular crowd are not being themselves. They are often just following the crowd and hiding their true selves. Each one of us has different likes, dislikes, styles, and personalities. Owning our differences and daring to embrace them, even though others don’t agree, is a bold and strong step. We must be true to ourselves whether others like it or not.

As an adult I’m happy to be my own person. I rarely wear jewelry, and I don’t expect my husband to buy me any. The only jewelry I wear is my engagement ring and wedding band. I don’t put makeup on; I feel comfortable with my natural looks. Most of the time I wear tee shirts, jeans, or sweatpants. I like short hair that I can just run a brush through and be ready to go. I have a streak of pink in my hair to symbolize that I am a breast cancer survivor. This is who I am.

Being myself is what lifts my self-esteem and carries me in the light of recovery.