Tag: Verbal abuse

AN APOLOGY LETTER

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Part of life is getting hurt by people. Sometimes they hurt us by accident, some don’t even realize they hurt us, and some hurt us because they are not nice. Getting an apology helps ease the pain, but not everyone apologizes. How do we mend our broken hearts if a person who hurt us never apologizes?

Since my book has been published, people have asked me, “Has any of your bullies read your book and apologized?”

Unfortunately, none of them has apologized and I don’t expect them to. I’m not even sure they would admit it was them in my book if they read it. My friend, Roberta, suggested I try writing an apology letter from one of my bullies to me. I thought about it and decided that would be a great idea. Below is an apology letter I have written from one of the bullies in my book, Donna. If you haven’t read my book, Escape to the Garage: Family Love Overcomes Bullying, reading my book would give you a better idea about what Donna did to me.

Dear Aimee,

  I’m so sorry I called you a retard and other names in school. I didn’t understand what a learning disability was. I was a fool to think you were stupid. Look at you. You went to college. You wrote a book. You were never stupid or retarded. My words were cruel and wrong. I wish I could take them back. Now I’ve read your book I can see how much they hurt you. I’m sorry I caused you so much pain.

  In school I thought you weren’t smart enough to ever work a job and I told you that you would be on welfare. Boy was I wrong. My life turned out to be a mess, but you went on to college, you got a degree, and you have worked the same job for twenty-seven years. I’m sorry I said that about you. I was so wrong. I’m the one who failed to succeed, but you are a success.

  I’m sorry I took your friends away and turned them against you. I’m sorry I stopped other kids from making a friendship with you. I didn’t feel good about myself and I turned that on you. I made your life miserable. It wasn’t nice of me to tell others lies about you so they wouldn’t be your friend. In a way I was jealous of you. My family and home life weren’t as good as yours, so in turn I made your school days miserable. I’m sorry for that.

  Maybe if I took the time to really get to know you, we could have been good friends. Maybe you could have been someone I could have confided in instead of someone I tore apart. I’m glad to see you were able to rise above the abuse I put you through and are now able to help others.

  You are a smart wonderful person and I’m sorry I never took the chance to get to know you for who you are. I can never take back all the pain I put you through or heal the wounds I caused, but at least I can do is tell you how wrong I was and how sorry I am.

   I am truly sorry for being so awful to you in school. I hope you will forgive me.

Sincerely,

Donna

I’d be surprised if I ever got an apology from Donna, but writing this letter helped ease the pain in my soul. It helped me see Donna as a person who acted out of ignorance and as an imperfect person instead of a monster. I’ll never be able to tell her I forgive her, but I forgive her for my own benefit. I don’t want to talk to her or have her in my life, but she is no longer that evil monster that tore me apart in school. Now I see her as a broken person who used her own insecurities to hurt me.

Try writing a letter of apology from the person who hurt you deeply. It will help you in the healing process and help you to forgive that person. It will also help you let go of the grip that person has on you. Once you have written the letter whisper or yell it out loud, “I forgive you.” Then let the wounds in your heart heal.

Writing the letter to Donna helped me heal. Because I wrote the letter I bathe in the light of recovery.

GOSSIP AND BULLYING

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Gossip has been a part of our culture for years. We have all taken part in it in some way or another. We think nothing of it like it’s a natural part of being humans, but gossip is a form of bullying. Many people’s lives are ruined by this form of bullying. The victims of gossip are hurt emotionally and sometimes physically by a false tale spread by many.

I was told by an ex-employee of my workplace that the boss’s girlfriend left him. So, when I went to work the next day, I asked a fellow employee if it was true. Next thing I knew she was telling other employees and then she told the boss. Before I knew it my boss took me aside to lecture me about passing rumors. I felt bad. I didn’t mean for it to become a rumor, but it did. I realized after I was lectured that I should have asked the boss or just let it go until it was verified by him or his girlfriend who came in regularly.

In the small town I live in there was a rumor that one of the town women was cheating on her husband. The rumor soon became that she was seeing several men. The rumor kept growing and in time the couple’s marriage fell apart. After the damage was done the truth came out that she never cheated on her husband, but instead was hanging out with some of her women friends. I can’t imagine how hurt the woman was by a lie that destroyed her marriage. She was probably not only hurt by the gossip, but also by her husband not trusting her. The husband was probably hurt too by being led to believe his wife was betraying him.

Gossip starts with someone telling one person something they heard and then it gets passed around. As it gets passed around, it changes and grows into something worse. Bullying is a form of abuse that is repeated physically, verbally, or socially. Verbal bullying is the repetition of mean things being said. Gossip is where a truth or lie is turned into something false and repeated continually until it grows into something awful. The rumors hurt a person’s wellbeing and are repeated, making it a form of bullying.

When I worked in the bakery, the ladies told me different stories about how the Greek lady who worked with us faked her accent to appear innocent and turned around and stabbed them in the back. I was told stories of mean things she did to them. Each person made her sound worse. When I got to know her, I realized that they were passing rumors that were not true. Her accent was real, and she had interesting stories to tell about her culture. I found her to be kind and caring. What the other ladies said about her were all lies. In time the rumors and the way she was treated hurt her so badly that she ended up leaving.

We should never pass around anything that is told to us, especially if it’s told in confidence. We should also never believe what is told about a person until we confirm whether it’s true or not with the person it’s about. If you hear something about a person don’t repeat it. If you do, you become one of the bullies.

Gossip happens in schools, communities, workplaces, and even in churches. It’s up to us to put an end to it. We must stand up and say stop passing things that are not true and stop believing things we hear from others instead of the person, him or herself. Let the gossip stop with you.

You teach your children with different parenting methods, but also by your own actions. If you go around spreading gossip, then your child sees it and thinks it’s okay. So, he or she goes to school and passes rumors. Sometimes bullies are created by their parents. Be an inspiration to your children, teach them to always be kind, and practice what you teach. Teach your children about gossip and not to pass things around that are told to them. Teach them to always look for the truth.

There is a lot of gossip going around where I work. I don’t pass around what I hear, and I find out the truth before believing what I am told. By standing up against bullying and its different forms like gossip, I stand tall in the light of recovery.

GOSSIP AND BULLYING

Gossip has been a part of our culture for years. We have all taken part in it in some way or another. We think nothing of it like it’s a natural part of being humans, but gossip is a form of bullying. Many people’s lives are ruined by this form of bullying. The victims of gossip are hurt emotionally and sometimes physically by a false tale spread by many.

I was told by an ex-employee of my workplace that the boss’s girlfriend left him. So, when I went to work the next day, I asked a fellow employee if it was true. Next thing I knew she was telling other employees and then she told the boss. Before I knew it my boss took me aside to lecture me about passing rumors. I felt bad. I didn’t mean for it to become a rumor, but it did. I realized after I was lectured that I should have asked the boss or just let it go until it was verified by him or his girlfriend who came in regularly.

In the small town I live in there was a rumor that one of the town women was cheating on her husband. The rumor soon became that she was seeing several men. The rumor kept growing and in time the couple’s marriage fell apart. After the damage was done the truth came out that she never cheated on her husband, but instead was hanging out with some of her women friends. I can’t imagine how hurt the woman was by a lie that destroyed her marriage. She was probably not only hurt by the gossip, but also by her husband not trusting her. The husband was probably hurt too by being led to believe his wife was betraying him.

Gossip starts with someone telling one person something they heard and then it gets passed around. As it gets passed around, it changes and grows into something worse. Bullying is a form of abuse that is repeated physically, verbally, or socially. Verbal bullying is the repetition of mean things being said. Gossip is where a truth or lie is turned into something false and repeated continually until it grows into something awful. The rumors hurt a person’s wellbeing and are repeated, making it a form of bullying.

When I worked in the bakery, the ladies told me different stories about how the Greek lady who worked with us faked her accent to appear innocent and turned around and stabbed them in the back. I was told stories of mean things she did to them. Each person made her sound worse. When I got to know her, I realized that they were passing rumors that were not true. Her accent was real, and she had interesting stories to tell about her culture. I found her to be kind and caring. What the other ladies said about her were all lies. In time the rumors and the way she was treated hurt her so badly that she ended up leaving.

We should never pass around anything that is told to us, especially if it’s told in confidence. We should also never believe what is told about a person until we confirm whether it’s true or not with the person it’s about. If you hear something about a person don’t repeat it. If you do, you become one of the bullies.

Gossip happens in schools, communities, workplaces, and even in churches. It’s up to us to put an end to it. We must stand up and say stop passing things that are not true and stop believing things we hear from others instead of the person, him or herself. Let the gossip stop with you.

You teach your children with different parenting methods, but also by your own actions. If you go around spreading gossip, then your child sees it and thinks it’s okay. So, he or she goes to school and passes rumors. Sometimes bullies are created by their parents. Be an inspiration to your children, teach them to always be kind, and practice what you teach. Teach your children about gossip and not to pass things around that are told to them. Teach them to always look for the truth.

There is a lot of gossip going around where I work. I don’t pass around what I hear, and I find out the truth before believing what I am told. By standing up against bullying and its different forms like gossip, I stand tall in the light of recovery.