High school is a hard time for teens. They are at the dating age, they face peer pressure, and they work hard to fit in. If you dress differently, are too skinny or too big–boned or have any noticeable difference, you are teased and put down. Many try to change who they are to be part of the popular crowd or to fit in. Bullies are people who act aggressively towards people who are different. They pick out someone whom they determine is weak and abuse the person physically, verbally, or by cyberbullying. They prey on people who dare to be different.

My older sister was in the most current style before the others in our small-town school. She wore lots of makeup and got up early in the morning to do her hair just right. She was beautiful. I just got up in enough time to brush my hair, get dressed, and go to school. Even as a child she was a girly girl. I was always the opposite of her. I was a tomboy. I played with cars and action figures. I didn’t mind getting dirty. My older sister played with dolls and hated getting dirty. My parents loved us for the individuals we were.

I spent my childhood being bullied for having a learning disability and then in high school they found new things to put me down for. As a teen I liked tee shirts, sweatshirts, and jeans. Some of my clothes came from yard sales. I didn’t care about what was considered in style or doing the latest hair style. I hated makeup and nail polish. I was what my classmates and other teens considered an outcast. Many teens in my school picked on me about my clothes and hair. They abused me verbally for being my own person. They made me feel ugly and worthless. I wanted to fit in, but I liked my own style, which was simple.

Then a couple of teachers in my special education class decided to hold a beauty day for all the girls in the class. They had a beautician and makeup artist come in and make us up. I hated every minute of it, but I was willing to give it a try so that maybe I could fit in with everyone else. The eye shadow made my eyes itch, rubbing foundation into my skin felt weird, my eyes watered, making the mascara run, and I couldn’t help but lick my lips, wiping away the lipstick. My hair was curled and styled with a curling iron, and when I looked in a mirror I felt like I was staring at a stranger.

The teachers were trying to help me without realizing they were asking me to change who I was to fit in. I went along with it, and I tried to do lipstick and eye shadow on my own. I tried different hairstyles, but it didn’t change things. I was still an outcast and I only hated myself more. I felt ugly in my new style, and I felt like I wasn’t being true to myself. This only deepened my depression and destroyed my self-worth.

Through this experience I learned to never change who you are to fit in. Be true to yourself even if your classmates and your bully use it to put you down. Trying to be someone you are not only deepens your lack of self-worth and your depression. Be the person, the unique individual, you are meant to be and the person you feel comfortable with. Don’t let anyone change who you are just so you can be accepted by others.

Many teens who dress like the popular crowd are not being themselves. They are often just following the crowd and hiding their true selves. Each one of us has different likes, dislikes, styles, and personalities. Owning our differences and daring to embrace them, even though others don’t agree, is a bold and strong step. We must be true to ourselves whether others like it or not.

As an adult I’m happy to be my own person. I rarely wear jewelry, and I don’t expect my husband to buy me any. The only jewelry I wear is my engagement ring and wedding band. I don’t put makeup on; I feel comfortable with my natural looks. Most of the time I wear tee shirts, jeans, or sweatpants. I like short hair that I can just run a brush through and be ready to go. I have a streak of pink in my hair to symbolize that I am a breast cancer survivor. This is who I am.

Being myself is what lifts my self-esteem and carries me in the light of recovery.