In 1999 Cheryl Miller was transferred from the west twenty-sixth street grocery store in Erie, PA to the Harborcreek store where I worked. It didn’t take long for Cheryl and I to become friends. We were able to talk easily with one another. We had a lot in common. Cheryl soon became more than a friend. She became a sister and a support person.

When I fell into depression and moved in with an abusive boyfriend, Cheryl stood at my side. When I felt depressed, suicidal, or like self-injuring, I called Cheryl. She would talk to me at all hours of the day or night. She would stay on the phone with me until two a.m. and talk to me until I was calm or started laughing. She knew what to say and do to help me. When my ex-boyfriend couldn’t handle me, he would call her. She would tell him what to do or talk to me until I felt better.

One time I drove her and her baby son home. I was feeling very depressed and was suicidal. I stopped in front of her apartment building and got out of the car. I stood in the middle of the road as a car was coming. Cheryl pulled me out of the road. She talked to me until I laughed, and my will to live came back. I often think about what would have happened if Cheryl hadn’t saved me. I would have missed out on a lot in my life.

I was so caught up in my illness that I didn’t notice the problems Cheryl struggled with in her own life, and she never tried to tell me about them. She focused on being there for me. I knew her boyfriend wasn’t good for her, but I didn’t realize how bad he was until years later. I was consumed with my illness and couldn’t be as good of a friend to her as she was to me, but she didn’t care.

When I was sad at work, she’d leave encouraging notes at my register, or she’d leave me a smiley face she drew. She just knew the right things to do and say to help me get through my rough days. She had the gift to lift my spirits from the bottom of my pit.

She moved away with her boyfriend, and we kept in touch for a while. She moved back to Erie when I started dating my husband. Things were getting harder for her with her boyfriend at the same time I was getting better. Then she moved again and we lost contact for many years. While we were separated, I got better and married my husband. When my niece set me up a Facebook account, I started searching Facebook for Cheryl and I found her. She was no longer with her boyfriend. She was with a man who treated her well.

Ever since Cheryl and I reconnected we have been inseparable. For a while we lived in separate states and texted each other constantly. Now we live in the same state and we still text constantly, we video chat with her sister and watch TV shows (we call it date night), and I have gone to her house for visits.

 Now I can support her during hard times and be the friend I couldn’t be years ago. She still knows what to say and do when I’m struggling with my illness. When I’m down, I turn to my husband and Cheryl. Cheryl and I can talk about anything. We have no filter. She understands me better than any of my other friends. I understand her too.

Cheryl often gives me the same advice as my husband does and I tease her and say she is sneaking and talking about me with him. Cheryl reads my blog posts and uses what she learns to help me. I tell her she’s not allowed to use my blog posts against me. She responds with, “Too bad.” I talk over my problems with her and my therapist. I call her “therapist number one” and my actual therapist, “therapist number two.” She calls me “little sis,” and I call her “big sis.”

I can’t imagine life without Cheryl. She has been an important part of my struggle with mental illness. She kept me alive when I wanted to die, she lifted me up when I had hit the bottom of my hole, and she helps me stay in the light of recovery. Without her I would be lost. I can’t put into words how grateful I am for her dedicated friendship. I am so happy that she didn’t walk away from me when I couldn’t be supportive to her. I’m so happy that I now can support her through rough times.

Finding a friend to support you like Cheryl has me is hard, but if you do find one, hold on to her or him tightly. Not all friends will talk to you until two a.m., but be grateful for any friend that is willing to support you through your struggles with mental illness.

Having Cheryl to turn to when times get hard helps me stand tall in the light of recovery.