Author: Aimee Eddy

TIPS FOR MANAGING STRESS

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Life is stressful and some things that happen in our lives heighten our stress. Stress can lead to anxiety, depression, and lack of sleep. Knowing how to manage your stress will help you handle it in healthy ways.

I’m not very good at handling stress. I become overwhelmed and end up having anxiety attacks. Right now, my life is very stressful with my husband being sick, my dad having bone cancer, and my older sister being vision-impaired. I have been helping my sister find help for her vision problems by taking her to specialists. Now my husband is sick I need to do extra things to help him out. With his illness I’m trying to figure out what all I need to do to prepare for when his illness gets worse. I’m also trying to help him cope with his diagnosis and keep him active. It’s a lot. I feel more anxious.

I did some research and came up with some stress management tips.

  • Know your triggers. Know what things in your life cause you extra stress and work on ways to manage them. List the things in your life that cause you stress like money, death, divorce, illnesses, homework, school, college, and so on. Finances are a big trigger for me and right now we’re struggling financially. I’m doing my best to deal with the anxiety this stressor causes. I’m looking for financial help and cutting things we can do without from our budget.
  • Practice relaxation techniques. If you’re feeling stressed out, do deep breathing, listen to soft music, do guided imagery, meditation, and so on. Find which technique works best for you. I do deep breathing and guided imagery.
  • Set boundaries. Learn to say no. You can only do so much, and when you have a lot to do, it’s okay to say no when someone asks you to do something extra. Know how much you can handle and stay firm on not going over that limit. I know I have a lot going on right now, so if someone were to ask for my help with something else, I know to nicely say no.
  • Reduce your workload. If you have a lot of things to do and it’s stressing you out, see how you can reduce that. If you’re running a club, doing choir on the weekend, and volunteering three times a week, and you feel overwhelmed, then see what you can cut or do less of. I work part-time because working full-time causes me extra stress, which causes anxiety and depression.
  • Lean on your support team. If you are really struggling and feeling stressed out, turn to your support team. Talk to them about what is going on in your life.  They may have some good advice and encouraging words for you. Right now, with everything going on in my life, I am leaning on my support team a lot. They remind me to slow down and take one day at a time.
  • Take breaks. If you have a lot of things to do at once, find time to take breaks. My days off are when we plan errands and appointments. Doing a lot of running around gets stressful. My husband and I plan breaks in between our errands. We go for a ride around the peninsula in our city or go down to the dock.
  • Take care of yourself. When life gets stressful, you must remember to take care of your needs. Make sure you eat regularly, make time to sleep, do a craft you like, and make sure you are taking care of your health. While helping my husband cope with his illness, I’m making sure I’m managing my mental health. I take my medication, I use coping techniques, and I lean on my support team.
  • Look for professional help. If things become too much for you to handle, there is no shame in seeking professional help. A good therapist can help you find coping techniques and work through the things that cause you stress. Right no I’m handling the stress in my life well, but I know when things get worse to look for a therapist. I see a psychiatrist and I keep him informed on how I’m doing so he can properly manage my medication.

If you are dealing with a lot of stress in your life, try these tips. Managing stress effectively can help you avoid becoming anxious and depressed. It can also ease tension and help you maintain a healthy mental and physical wellbeing.

I’m working on managing my stress, and doing so helps me stay in the light of recovery.

THROWN FOR A LOOP

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

Sometimes life throws us the unexpected, and we find ourselves overwhelmed with a flood of emotions. We try to wrap our minds around the situation: a sudden death, an unexpected illness, or something bad happening to a loved one. The unexpected throws us for a loop, and we are left asking how to cope? How do we process these emotions? What do we do next?

My husband has been my rock. He went to therapy with me while we were dating to learn how to manage my mental illness, and he handles it well. He’s taken care of me during many surgeries. He has emptied drains, changed bandages, emptied a potty chair, lifted me up to a walker, and pushed me in a wheelchair without any complaints. He even cried with me when I found out I had breast cancer. He’s sat in the waiting room for hours during my surgeries and tests. He comforted me when I grieved the loss of my breasts and cried because I got an infection in a surgery site. He has held me during emotional break downs when I have had bad days with my mental illness and continuously reminds me to be positive.

This Wednesday we found out Lou has a serious illness (he asked me not to tell what the illness is) that will get worse in time. We sat in the doctor’s office while he gave us results of a test Lou went through. Lou sat quietly with a sad look on his face and my heart broke. There is no cure. The doctor talked and I struggled to fight my tears. I tried to think of questions to ask. I managed to ask a few, but I felt like I needed to ask more, but my mind went blank. Lou sat in shock, unable to speak at all.

Our lives are about to change dramatically, especially Lou’s. He must give up his hope to find a job and his ability to drive. He is faced with a disease that will only get worse in time. I can’t imagine what it is like for him. I understand a little bit. When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was shocked, sad, and overwhelmed. I thought I was going to lose my hair and get extremely sick and die. Luckily I was in the early stages and a surgery got rid of my cancer. For Lou there is no surgery to take away his illness. There’s medication that can slow it down, but nothing to take it away.

He is feeling devastated, sad, and angry. He feels like his life is over. I find myself in a new position. I must be strong for him. There is no time for me to fall apart. Lou needs to lean on me, and he needs me to help him through this. I have to schedule his appointments, I have to make plans for future care for him, and I have to make sure I get time off work for his appointments. I have to do what is needed to protect my job in case I have to call off to take care of him. There is so much to do and to prepare for.

I want to lie in bed for a day and just cry, but I can’t. My husband needs me. Lou filed for early retirement, but our plans were for him to work part time to help with finances and to get him out of the house. Now he’s not going to be able to work at all. With my paycheck and his early retirement, we won’t have enough money to pay all our bills. I’m looking into financial assistance and ways to reduce some of our bills. I’m overwhelmed.

I feel sad. I wanted my husband to enjoy his retirement and work a part time job he would love. I can’t believe the love of my life, my rock, and my soulmate has to go through such a horrible sickness. It’s unfair. He deserves better. Am I strong enough to help him through this? Will I be able to manage his illness? Should I go back to therapy? When he gets really bad, will I be able to handle it without falling apart? I’m not used to being a caregiver. Can I do it?

I keep hearing the horrible things that can happen with his illness. I’m told in time I will have my hands full. Even TV shows portray the worst side of Lou’s illness. I just want someone to tell me that everything is going to be okay, and no matter what happens I will be able to handle it. I don’t want to think about the worst side of this illness, not now. I want someone to hold me and tell me to go ahead and let the tears flow. I need a few minutes to stop being strong. I want this to be just a bad dream.

If this happened several years ago, I would not have been able to be strong. I would have fallen apart and not been able to be there for my husband. I have come a long way. I know that I need to take one day at a time. I need to practice coping techniques to keep myself going. I need to lean on my support system. I need to go to therapy when things get harder. I need to practice self-care. It’s important to handle my mental health and to take care of myself as I take care of Lou. It’s important that I look into extra help options early so I will be prepared for when things get worse.

When you reach recovery from mental illness, it’s important to always manage your illness especially during the rough times. You can manage the unexpected as long as you remember to take care of yourself also. Don’t be afraid to go to therapy for extra support or to join support groups. Even though you must be strong, you are allowed time to fall apart as long as you pick yourself up.

My life is changing dramatically, but despite my mental illness I know I can handle it. I know when and how to ask for help. I’m taking one day at a time while I lean on the shoulders of my support team in the light of recovery.

FROM BEHIND THE SHADOWS

Published on by Aimee Eddy5 Comments

All my life I have been the type of person to hide in the shadows. In school I stayed in the shadows to try and hide from the bullying. That protection followed me into college and adulthood. If I went unseen, I was safe from making a fool out of myself or getting put down. I have always followed what others told me to do and never could see myself as a leader. Until now.

I went through school trying very hard to be unseen and hidden. If I was put in a group of people to do an assignment, I kept my mouth shut and let others make the decisions. In college I took a class in TV news. We were broken into groups and were given the task of putting together a commercial. One person took the role as leader of the group and each of us was given the task of brainstorming ideas. I listened to the others’ ideas and only gave my ideas when I was asked. I was too scared and shy to speak up on my own. Even in college away from the kids from previous schools I was afraid of being put down. I became comfortable in the shadows.

Even when I started working at the grocery store where I continue to work, I stayed in the shadows. When I first started there, I barely talked. In time I learned to open up to fellow employees, but I found it impossible to take the initiative to talk to managers or to speak up during a training session. Sitting quietly with my lips tightly closed has always been the safest way for me.

I was going through breast cancer when Alex Kovarovic asked me to write for his nonprofit National Internet Safety and Cyberbullying Taskforce. I was excited. In time I went from writing blog posts to interviewing volunteers and helping plan events. I felt totally out of my league, but I stayed with Alex and the nonprofit as it changed into One Life Project. With One Life Project I became president’s assistant in education and research and worked alongside, Alex. I started by researching topics for the website and realized I was pretty good at research.

When Alex moved me up to a higher position where I was going to work alongside another woman to lead a group of volunteers, I got scared. The girl often planned online meetings and let me know of them at the last minute. I sat in the meetings silently as she talked, but I noticed she was disorganized and kept getting distracted by people in the background. I was afraid to step out of the shadows to speak up and take charge.

But Alex didn’t give up on me; he moved me up to Executive President of Educational Outreach and Advocacy and then to Senior Executive President of Education. Now I’m making hard decisions like letting go of people who are not doing their share. Alex is continuing to guide me in my role as a leader. I’m stepping out of the shadows to excel in my position. I’m learning to speak up and step out of my comfort zone. It’s scary and exciting. I’m proud of how far I have come and of myself for stepping out of the shadows.

I work with my team of volunteers to put together workbooks for schools and universities. I have traveled to events and handed out educational material, and I was even interviewed with Alex for Spectrum News. I’m learning different skills and how to educate young people about mental illness. The work I do means a lot to me because I was once a young person with mental illness. I had no one to teach me what mental illness was and how to ask for help. Now I’m part of a organization that gives young people opportunities to learn and ways to ask for help.

In April I will be traveling to New York City for a conference and awards ceremony. I will be giving a speech at the conference and receiving awards at the ceremony. One award I know I’m getting is from the President of the United States. It is the Lifetime Achievement award. I can’t wait to be honored with this award and possibly others.

You may feel like you’ll never rise out of the darkness or from behind the shadows to succeed, but that is untrue. You can do a lot with your life, despite mental illness or bullying. You don’t have to settle for being at the bottom. Use the determination deep down inside you to rise and reach beyond your safe place. You can become successful. Mental illness and bullying are only challenges you must overcome to make your dreams become possible. Don’t be afraid to try something new.

Stepping out of the shadows has helped me rise above the hole into the light of success.

CHILDHOOD MENTAL ILLNESS

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    Mental illness knows no boundaries. It doesn’t pick a certain age group. Even children struggle with this serious sickness. Many children suffer in silence, afraid to tell parents, guardians, and teachers what’s happening within them. They may not even understand what is wrong. It’s a horrible struggle to face alone, but unfortunately many of our children feel they have no other choice.

     I never really realized how young I was when I started struggling with mental illness until I started writing my memoir. To write my book, I had to retrace and relive my childhood. Back then I didn’t know what mental illness was. My mom told me my grandmother, her mom, struggled with mental health problems, but I had little understanding of what that meant. I just knew she was sick and spent some time in hospitals. She came to visit once and a while, but I was young and only have a few memories of her.

     My mom told me I was a happy child until I started going to school. Some of that sadness was caused by serve bullying, and I believe that bullying triggered my illness. Many things can trigger such a sickness like abuse, tragedy, loss, poor living conditions, bullying, and so on. Bullying was my trigger. The bullying started in first grade and in my memoir, I could retrace the start of it.

     It was then I began to lose self-esteem. I couldn’t defend myself against the names I was called. I began to question if the things I was called were true or not. I felt a sadness, but it wasn’t overpowering. As the school years went on, my illness progressed. At night I struggled to sleep and when I did, I had nightmares. I started to put myself down internally and I began to hate myself. I broke out in angry fits. I would get into fights with my siblings, I would scream, cry, and throw things. Then I started pulling my hair to ease my pain inside. The hair pulling turned to punching a wall and pinching my skin.

     I knew there was a deep sadness in me and that I had emotions I couldn’t control, but I had no way of explaining it. My parents were and are very loving people. Dad worked long hours at the family garage and Mom worked hard taking care of four children and our home. They didn’t have much money, but they showered us with love. So, if I had such wonderful parents, why didn’t I turn to them? How could I tell them I was falling apart inside when I couldn’t comprehend it?

     I was afraid they wouldn’t understand. How could they when I didn’t even know what was happening? It seemed like a burden I was cursed to carry on my own. My parents thought I had a bad temper. I thought they were right, but when I broke out into those angry bursts it was like I lost all control of myself. There was no explanation for that other than I had pent up anger to let out from the kids teasing me at school. I argued with my parents and little things set me off into a fury. My parents and siblings suffered the wrath of my unexplainable temper-tantrums. My parents were at their wits’ end trying to figure out how to help me control my anger. It wasn’t until I was hospitalized as an adult that I learned the angry fits were emotional episodes caused by Borderline Personality Disorder.

     In eighth grade I felt the saddest I had ever felt. I thought I was having a nervous breakdown. I buried my depression in studying. The racing thoughts were nonstop. I tried to quiet them, but they were too powerful. They tore me apart inside. A misunderstanding from my Special Education teachers sent me to the school counselor. Talking to him each week got me through that rough time. I was able to cope a little better.

     It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom in college that I finally confided in my parents. I had started cutting myself, I planned my death, and began to try to take my life. When my mom found out what was happening, she went out of her way to find me help. As an adult I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, self-injury, and Borderline Personality disorder.

     I struggle with worries of how my parents will handle my memoir. Will they feel guilty for not knowing? Will they be crushed when they realize how I suffered in silence? Will they be hurt because I didn’t turn to them? I think the important message I want them to get from my book is that their love and the love of other family members was what kept me going.

     Childhood mental illness is serious. It’s important to educate parents and children about the symptoms and signs. It’s important we tell our children that it’s okay to talk about things that’s happening to them which they don’t understand.

If you’re a child suffering, don’t be afraid to tell someone. Don’t suffer in silence. This sickness is a heavy burden you can’t carry on your own. Tell a parent, a relative, a guardian, or a teacher. That way they can get you help. I wish I would have confided in my parents. Maybe if I did, I wouldn’t have fought this sickness for so long. Maybe I could have reached recovery sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t have hit rock bottom and became suicidal. Speak out. If you must put it in a note or draw a picture, then do that.

I can’t live in regret for keeping my illness a secret from when I was a kid. There are a lot of “what if’s,” but instead of wondering, I decided to help others with my memoir. Writing my memoir helped me and I’m sure will help others. Helping others through my writing will guide many children to the light and also keep me standing strong in the light of recovery,

SPEECH WRITING

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I remember the first time I gave a speech. It was in high school English class. Our teacher gave us instructions to write a speech for a topic I don’t remember. She told us our speeches would be put in a contest and if we won, we would have to read our speech before the whole high school. That scared me to death since I barely even talked in school. I prayed I wouldn’t win, but I won third place. I stood with sweaty hands on a stage before the whole high school, stumbling over my speech as I read it. I felt sick to my stomach. I vowed to never give a speech again, but God had other plans for me.

Then in college I took a speech writing class. Our assignment was to write a speech about a topic of our choice and present it to the class. We would be graded on our speech. I wrote about learning disabilities and famous people who had the disability. I wrote out my speech and then copied it onto index cards. I stood in front of the class once again, my hands were sweaty, my legs shook, and I stumbled through reading my speech. I barely got a passing grade. I decided I just could not give speeches. I wasn’t good at it.

Part of my learning disability is being able to memorize things. The only way I could pass tests in school was putting my notes on index cards and studying them for endless hours until they were burned into my brain. I had to read my speech for my college course because I couldn’t memorize it, and that was a mark against my grade. I felt like a failure.

Then many years later I got my memoir published and was invited to speak at book signings. I didn’t have to write a speech because it was my story. I let God guide me and I spoke from the heart. The words just flowed from me and everyone applauded when I finished. Afterwards they told me what a great speaker I was. That young girl who thought she was a failure at speaking was suddenly a success.

February 14 to the 16, depending on the weather, I am going to Massachusetts for some office openings and a conference for One Life Project. The CEO, Alex Kovarovic, wants me to write out my speech so that I limit it to fifteen minutes and I don’t make mistakes. He said I could read it, but I need to look like I’m not reading it. That would be impossible. Then Alex created an outline for my speech using artificial intelligence. The outline had five sections ranging from three hundred words to six hundred. I felt my insides twist and turn. There would be no way I could memorize it or look like I’m not reading it. Plus, how could I get that many words written in two weeks?

Would I be a failure at giving this speech like I was the other times? Would I look like I was inexperienced reading it? Would I make a fool out of myself?

I sat down to write my introduction. I wrote it and rewrote it several times. Then I wrote the second part, and it just flowed from me. I plan on writing the next section on Monday. I’m writing a speech about my story of bullying and mental illness. How can I mess up my own life experiences? It’s the same speech I gave at my book signings. I know my story by heart, and I just know each of the other parts will flow from me. I feel that even though my speech will be written out, I will remember it because it’s my story. I’ll print my speech out in larger print, highlight the different sections, and use it as a guide to get through each section correctly.

I’m not that scared high schooler or college student anymore. I have established myself as a speaker and there’s no reason why I can’t give a good speech from what I have written. My friends and husband said I can practice on them. I’ll just keep practicing until I get the wording right. I have grown as a person since I gave my written speeches in high school and college. I have better self-esteem, I’m more confident, and I have climbed out of my walls of protection.

My speech will be recorded on social media, and I hope to put it on this blog after it’s posted. I will share it on my social media sites.

Sometimes I doubt my ability to do things. The young Aimee who felt like a loser resurfaces within me. When that happens, I doubt myself. When I realize what I’m doing, I have to remind myself I’m not that person anymore. I can do anything I put my mind to. My determination has guided me through many challenges in my life and I have accomplished a lot because I pushed past my fears. I will push past my fears again and do this speech well.

Because of my determination, I overcame bullying, recovered from mental illness, beat cancer, and much more. My determination helps me stand confidently in the light of recovery.

WINTER BLUES

Published on by Aimee Eddy3 Comments

This winter has been hard on everyone, even those in the south. Everyone is done with the snow, cold temperatures, and gloomy days especially those with seasonal depression and mental illness. It’s hard to see past long days, shoveling snow, and bitter cold. Even people without mental health problems are struggling. We have had mild winters for a few years and gotten spoiled. How do we look past the gloom of winter?

When I was a kid, I used to play outside until my hands were numb and I couldn’t feel my face. We built snowmen, made snow angels, and went sledding. Winter was fun. Now as an adult I wonder how I ever I liked winter. Now there is shoveling, scraping ice off windshield, layers of clothing, boots, and dark at five PM. I go to work while it’s gray and return home when it’s dark out. My spirits take a dip.

This winter has especially been hard. Right after Thanksgiving, we were buried with five feet of snow. Everyone was digging themselves out and many couldn’t leave their homes. Then last week we got an arctic blast with below zero temperatures. Plus, it just keeps snowing. I hear my customers complain about the winter each day and say they can’t wait until spring. I even feel the winter blues. I want to leave the house without a coat and gloves. I long to wear shorts and tank tops. I can’t wait until days stay light until nine and I feel more energetic after work. How do we cope with the winter blues?

For me the best way of dealing with the blues is looking for something positive about winter. Below are five positives I found about winter.

  • When the snow is new, it’s pretty. When we get a fresh coat of snow, it’s pure white and glitters when the sun peeks out. Staring out at it from inside with a cup of hot chocolate is peaceful.
  • Snow is better than other natural disasters. With snow we still have our warm homes and belongings to go back to. In some parts of the world people are losing everything to tornadoes, hurricanes and fires. We are lucky to have just snow.
  • A snow day is a good time to spend the day in pj’s. On bad days, when you can’t get out of the house, it’s a good time to wear your pj’s all day and binge on Netflix or movies.
  • Winter is a good time for hot comfort foods. This time of year is perfect for chili, homemade soups, and baked goods. Who doesn’t like chili or soup on a cold day? Baking helps warm up the house and smells good.
  • It’s never too cold for ice cream. The best part of eating ice cream in the winter is being able to keep warm while eating it. It could be negative ten degrees out and you can sit in your warm home snuggled up in blankets and eat a bowl of ice cream.

Can you come up with your own positives about winter? Sit down with a journal or piece of paper and list five things you think are positive about this time of year. Write five positives each day. Remember while you are struggling with the winter blues to take care of yourself. If you are dealing with seasonal depression and other mental illnesses, remember to use coping techniques, take your medication, and talk with a therapist when needed. I use my coping techniques, journaling my positives, and my support system to get through this tough winter. Finding the positives helps me dance in the

ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING

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This week I’m posting an old post because I have been struggling with a sinus infection. I hope to write a new post next week.

Last week I wrote about the cognitive distortion called catastrophizing, and this week I would like to write about another many struggle with, including me. It’s called All-Or-Nothing Thinking. It is seeing your personal qualities such as your success or mistakes in black and white. Like if a student in school got two questions on a test wrong, that student would automatically see himself or herself as a failure. The student wouldn’t be able to celebrate his or her got a passing grade. Instead, the person would only see the situation in extreme black and white or in a negative viewpoint.

I developed all-or-nothing thinking in high school. In school I became obsessed with passing and proving to everyone I wasn’t stupid. I pushed myself to succeed at all costs. I spent hours finding ways around my learning disability to study for tests. I had a hard time remembering what I read, I was a slow reader, and I couldn’t keep up with the notes in class. So, I had to make notes from my textbook and put them on index cards. I read them over and over for hours to remember them. I had to pass all my classes no matter what. A low grade was unacceptable to me.

If I didn’t get an A on a test, I saw myself as a failure. I pushed myself hard. I gave up time with my family and had fits of anger when I couldn’t remember things well enough. If I didn’t pass with high grades, then everyone would be right about me. I would be the stupid, loser they all said I was.

This type of thinking followed me into my adult years. I had my future planned when I started college. I was going attend a two-year college to get a degree in journalism, then go on to a four-year college and become a journalist. College was much harder than I thought. Because of my disability, I couldn’t meet the requirements for a journalism degree and instead I got a humanities degree. Then mental illness and my disability made completing college difficult. It took me four years to graduate from a two-year college. My plans were destroyed.

For years I viewed myself as a failure for not being able to go on to a four-year college. I became a cashier, not a journalist. I was a worthless loser who proved that I was good for nothing. I didn’t succeed at my dreams. I let myself down. I dwelled on what I didn’t accomplish instead of what I did succeed at.

For years and even now I tell people I have a journalism degree when I have a humanities degree. I’m ashamed of myself for not getting the degree I wanted. A humanities degree is a basic degree that doesn’t really amount to much. I wasn’t good enough to get a journalism degree. I failed. I was and am a looser. I can’t admit to peoples’ faces that I am a worthless failure. If I tell people the truth, they will look down on me like they did in school. I’m just a cashier not a journalist like I planned.

Repeatedly I tell people I have a journalism degree and I am working as a cashier because I couldn’t get a job as a journalist. I couldn’t see past what I couldn’t do to what I have done. Right now, while I write this, I see myself in another light. For so long I have viewed my life as black and white, but now there is color in my life.

I didn’t fail when I got a humanities degree and became a cashier. I worked around my learning disability to be a cashier, I have written a book, I have a small woodburning business, and I have kept the same job for 26 years despite many illnesses. I didn’t get the degree I wanted, but I continued to pursue my writing. I didn’t go on to a four-year college, but I have touched many lives as a cashier. I have customers who have been coming to me for years. I advocate against bullying and for mental illness awareness through my writing. For so long I felt I had failed when I have succeeded.

It’s so easy to strive for perfection and when you don’t quite make it you look at yourself as a failure. It’s hard to see the small things we do in our lives as successes. We want to be on top, but often the best we have done is distorted into all-or-nothing thinking. We fail to see and celebrate the small accomplishments we make in our life. Instead, we see ourselves as losers when we are winners. All-or-nothing thinking clouds our minds and keeps us from celebrating the positive.

When you think you have failed or are a loser, take another look at the situation. Even though you didn’t get that promotion, look at how far you have come to get to where you are now, and celebrate that. Look for the positive. Write it down and celebrate it. Rejoice that you got a B on a test instead of seeing yourself as a failure. Be proud of that speech you gave, even though you stumbled over a few words. Stand with pride for the job you are working even though it’s not the one you wanted.

I’m standing in the light of recovery admitting I have a humanities degree and rejoicing in the success I am today.

BULLYING WARNING SIGNS

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Bullying is a big problem affecting people all around us, especially our children. Children are acting out violently, going into depression, and are even taking their lives because they are abused daily at school by their peers. Many children feel alone and unable to turn to others for help. They often struggle in silence. If you’re a parent or family member, it’s important to know the warning signs of bullying.

Below is a list I found on StopBullying.gov  of the warning signs for the adults in a child’s life to look out for. You know that old saying, “It takes a village to raise a child,” is true. Not only do the parents of children need to look out for the warning signs, but so do the other adults in their lives like aunts, uncles, grandparents, family friends, and so on.

Here is the list:

  • Lost or destroyed belongings such as electronics, clothing, jewelry, and others
  • Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares
  • Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork or not wanting to go to school
  • Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social activities
  • Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, or decreased self-esteem
  • Self-destructive behaviors such as running away, self-harm, or talking about suicide

If you notice any of these signs in your children or children in your life, find them help. Talk to their teachers, guidance counselor, or principal, and if none of them listen to you, go to the school board. It’s important to encourage your children to talk to you, be willing to listen, and look into getting therapy for them. If you can’t afford a therapist, there are government funded programs that will get you help for a low price or for free.

When I was being bullied, the biggest mistake I made was to keep what was happening to myself. I suffered in silence and it led me down a dark road. If you’re being bullied, talk to someone you trust such as a parent, a family member, a teacher, a guidance counselor, or other trusted adult. You can’t rise above bullying without help. Don’t suffer alone.

It’s important that we all spread the message that bullying is a form of abuse and it needs to stop. Since my book, Escape to the Garage: Family Love Overcomes Bullying, has been published, it has been my goal to speak up for those who can’t speak up for themselves. Spreading my message is helping me stand strong in the light of recovery.

REFLECTING ON THE GOOD IN 2024

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Now that 2024 is over, we can look over the past year and reflect on it. For some it was a good year, bringing success, new beginnings, and happy memories. For others it was a hard year with rough times, heart aches, and loss. When we look back at a year that we struggled through, we often forget about the positive things that happened in that year. It’s easy to dwell on the bad.

2024 was a hard year for my husband and me and for my family. It started out with my husband being partially laid off while his workplace did some remodeling. Then my dad was diagnosed with bone cancer. Next, once the remodeling was done at my husband’s workplace, was getting his hours back, but he hurt his back and had to take time off. Once his back was better, we thought everything was going to be good, but then my husband started having dizzy spells. In the process of trying to find out what was wrong, we learned he had bronchitis and a urinary tract infection. We eventually found out he had vertigo.

Then my dad was hospitalized and on a ventilator with renal and heart failure. Next, my husband’s job cut him down to two days a week and then permanently laid him off. He got another job, but after nine days they also laid him off. On top of all that, unemployment claimed he was working when he wasn’t, and they stopped his payments while they reviewed his case. Finally, I got a nasty cold and was miserable on New Years Eve and Day.

In 2024 it seemed like the world was against us. Everything was going wrong. I’ve spent hours helping my husband apply for jobs with no luck. It felt like my worst fears were happening. Everything was falling apart, and holding on to our home and paying our bills seemed impossible. I feared we would lose our home. I kept telling my husband, “I’ll live in a cardboard box as long as I’m with you.”

I also thought I was going to lose my dad and that was unbearable. I spent hours at the hospital visiting my dad, telling him to fight, and asking everyone I could think of to pray for him. My younger siblings came to town, and we bonded together to hold each other up.

It’s so easy to say that 2024 was an awful year and to overlook the good things that happened. My dad pulled through and worked hard to get back on his feet. He went back to doing home repairs, working in the grape vineyards, and flying his airplane. My dad is a walking miracle.

Also, in 2024 my great nephew, Rex, was born and he is an adorable little fellow. We visited him and his family, and I enjoyed holding the little guy.

In April my husband and I used some of our tax refunds to take a week-long trip to my best friend’s home. Cheryl had moved to the town where my husband grew up, and he enjoyed showing Cheryl and her boyfriend around. I introduced Cheryl to my good friend Terri, and the three of us had a fun lunch together. My husband and I had lunch with some of his family, and we had dinner with his sister and her family. We enjoyed our trip.

The CEO of One Life Project promoted me from Executive President’s Assistant to Executive President of Educational Outreach and Advocacy. I have been learning to move out of the background to become a leader. With One Life my husband and I traveled to Harrisburg and Hershey for events. Through One Life I have found myself trying and learning new things, stepping out of my comfort zone.

As of 2024 I am cancer free for six years and no longer must go to the cancer center every six months. I graduated to once a year. Friends and family have helped us out in many ways during our struggles.

Lou and I have had some fun times together creating new memories. We celebrated seventeen years with a nice dinner out. Our struggles have brought us even closer and have shown me I can take care of him as well as he takes care of me.

After reflecting on last year, I can see that despite the struggles and heartaches, there were many good things. This helps put a different perspective on 2024. The year wasn’t just an awful year; it was also good. I’m hoping that in 2025 there will be more positive than negative things happening in my life. It’s starting out rough with no unemployment to pay our bills, but I believe that things can only get better.

If you had a bad 2024, look back at that year and list the positive things that happened. Then reflect on the positive and let the bad things that happened stay in the past. Look at 2025 with hopes for a happy, healthy, and successful year. Things can always get better and there is always good despite the bad times. This might be the year you reach recovery and start a new beginning.

Despite the rough start to the new year, I believe it will get better. God has a plan to provide for us and because I believe this, I stand in the light being held by God’s mighty hands.

Happy New Year.

I’M SICK

Published on by Aimee Eddy7 Comments

I didn’t write a blog post because I’m struggling with a nasty cold. I feel yucky. What a way to end 2024. This year has been a bad year for us, but we have hopes for a better year in 2025. On top of a cold I burned my arm on Christmas Day. On the positive side I had a very good Christmas with my parents and husband. Now I have the next three days off to recover from my cold.

Happy New Year to all of you and may it be a healthy and happy one