Tag: Mental Health

SELF-CARE WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU TOO MUCH

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

You know that old saying, “When it rains it pours?” Well it holds true to life’s challenges. When life’s challenges come raining down on us, it only takes a moment before more problems pour down. Things seem to go wrong all at once. They start small and get bigger. It’s a lot to handle. We often wonder if we have enough strength to handle it. It’s especially hard when you’re struggling with mental illness or are in recovery. How do you keep yourself from falling apart? What do you do for yourself during the rough times?

Lately life seems to be pouring problems down on my husband and me. It seems like it’s too much to handle. It started when we got our car inspected and found out we had a leak in the muffler. Then we got the dreaded phone call telling us our nephew had passed on, and after returning home from his memorial service, I got sick with a viral infection. We got an estimate on our muffler and found out we needed a new muffler and exhaust manifold. The cost was over a thousand dollars. Next my viral infection turned into a sinus infection, and I got a bad rash on my face. Then I didn’t see a car behind me while backing up and hit it. Finally, a lump on our dog’s leg grew bigger, and when we took her to the vet, they said there were unusual cells in it and they needed to remove it. Plus, they found that our dog has a significant heart murmur.

When I told my therapist about all the things going on in my life, she asked me, “What are you doing for yourself?”

I thought hard about it. How was I taking care of myself? When our nephew passed, I couldn’t cry and I struggled with grief and some depression. I poured out my emotions in my journal. I texted with my friend Cheryl. I took extra time off work to deal with the loss. With the muffler I took a deep breath and went through our finances to see how we could manage to get it repaired. I tried to stay positive by looking for good things about getting a new muffler, like with it fixed the car would be quieter. I practiced self-care.

At one time I used to force myself to go to work sick. That only ended up with me getting worse, and a few times I ended up in the ER with an IV. This time I called off work. I slept most of the day; when I was awake, I lay on the couch and watched TV with my husband. I didn’t do housework or even cook supper. I ordered dinner in and pampered myself. Part of self-care is nurturing yourself and taking care of your physical health along with your mental health.

I could have easily slipped into depression while things were going wrong, but I practiced self-care. I used my journal to express my feelings, I took my medications, I leaned on my support system, I did woodburning to help me relax, and I talked to my therapist. I also rested when I needed to and went to the doctor. Plus, I made sure to take my medications as prescribed.

When your life gives you too many challenges to handle, it’s important to take care of yourself mentally and physically. What things can you do to take care of your needs and to show yourself love? Self-care is more than just meditating and taking bubble baths. It’s about finding ways to relax, going to the doctor, resting when your body is tired, making important decisions, setting boundaries, and managing finances. Making self-care an important part of your life helps you get through mental illness and keeps you in recovery. When life gets to be too much to handle, make sure you take care of yourself this will help you face the hard times with strength.

Things have been very hard lately. The bad things don’t seem to stop happening. Life seems overwhelming. It seems like God is giving me too much to handle, but he helps me handle it. I make it a priority to use coping techniques and self-care to face each challenge, and this helps me stay in the light of recovery.

CAREGIVING AND MENTAL HEALTH

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Mental illness is a rough disease, and even in recovery you must spend each day managing it. When you throw extra challenges in your life, like dealing with a loved one (LO) with dementia, staying in recovery becomes a bigger challenge. You no longer are just taking care of your illness; you are also taking care of someone else’s illness. This makes staying in the light even harder.

My loved one is in the early stages of dementia. He’s independent to a point. He is still able to stay home while I work, and he can help me with some stuff around the house, but he still needs my help with a lot of things. I take care of his medication, make his lunches before work, and leave reminders on Alexa for him to eat it. I also remind him to take care of his hygiene, I manage his diet for diabetes, I keep track of his appointments, and I also remind him about small stuff too. I also have to handle changes in his mood like arguing and anger outbursts.

He’s young, only in his sixties, and I’m only fifty-one. It’s so unfair that he has this illness at such a young age. We should have many more years to make memories, but we don’t. We must make every moment count now. I’m sad, angry, and frustrated. Some days I want to lie in bed and cry. I wish I had a magical wand to take this illness from him. He gets so frustrated when he can’t remember things and it breaks my heart.

So much has been taken away from him because of dementia that it feels like he’s losing everything. He can no longer work, he can’t drive, and his memory is fading. At times I’m the bad guy because I must tell him repeatedly, he can’t drive, he can’t work, he forgot to shower, and much more. He gets mad at me, and I try not to take it personally, but it hurts.

Dealing with my LO’s illness is very emotional and threatens to throw me back down the hole of depression, but I can’t let it. When my LO was diagnosed with diabetes I got

depressed. I knew I was going to have to manage it and make sure he follows a healthy diet on top of managing his dementia. All day at work I felt like crying, I was very sad, and just wanted to hide. When I got out of work, I told my LO I was sick and went to our room. I lay in bed crying until I fell asleep. I teetered on the edge of that dark hole.

I realized I need to take care of my mental illness while taking care of my LO. I used a program through work to help me find a therapist. I’m not in a depression, but I needed someone to confide in and to talk about my feelings to to stay in recovery. I found a therapist who understands what I’m going through and she is very good. I told my psychiatrist about my LO so he can keep track of how I’m doing. I confided in my support team. I also joined mental health and dementia support groups online.

All caregivers must take care of themselves as well as their loved ones, but it’s extra work to take care of your mental illness on top of caregiving and to stay in recovery. I find it hard to manage my medication on top of my LO’s, but I know it’s important. It’s also important to use coping techniques like journaling, relaxation techniques, finding positives, and grounding techniques. It’s okay to need a break from your LO too. Self-care is also important. Take time for yourself like having someone stay with your LO while you go out for a while, take a relaxing bath, eat healthy, exercise, take care of your hygiene, and find time for your hobbies.

Caring for yourself and your mental health is as important as taking care of your LO. I make my illness as much of a priority as my LO is. This helps me stay in the light of recovery.

REFLECTING ON THE GOOD IN 2024

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Now that 2024 is over, we can look over the past year and reflect on it. For some it was a good year, bringing success, new beginnings, and happy memories. For others it was a hard year with rough times, heart aches, and loss. When we look back at a year that we struggled through, we often forget about the positive things that happened in that year. It’s easy to dwell on the bad.

2024 was a hard year for my husband and me and for my family. It started out with my husband being partially laid off while his workplace did some remodeling. Then my dad was diagnosed with bone cancer. Next, once the remodeling was done at my husband’s workplace, was getting his hours back, but he hurt his back and had to take time off. Once his back was better, we thought everything was going to be good, but then my husband started having dizzy spells. In the process of trying to find out what was wrong, we learned he had bronchitis and a urinary tract infection. We eventually found out he had vertigo.

Then my dad was hospitalized and on a ventilator with renal and heart failure. Next, my husband’s job cut him down to two days a week and then permanently laid him off. He got another job, but after nine days they also laid him off. On top of all that, unemployment claimed he was working when he wasn’t, and they stopped his payments while they reviewed his case. Finally, I got a nasty cold and was miserable on New Years Eve and Day.

In 2024 it seemed like the world was against us. Everything was going wrong. I’ve spent hours helping my husband apply for jobs with no luck. It felt like my worst fears were happening. Everything was falling apart, and holding on to our home and paying our bills seemed impossible. I feared we would lose our home. I kept telling my husband, “I’ll live in a cardboard box as long as I’m with you.”

I also thought I was going to lose my dad and that was unbearable. I spent hours at the hospital visiting my dad, telling him to fight, and asking everyone I could think of to pray for him. My younger siblings came to town, and we bonded together to hold each other up.

It’s so easy to say that 2024 was an awful year and to overlook the good things that happened. My dad pulled through and worked hard to get back on his feet. He went back to doing home repairs, working in the grape vineyards, and flying his airplane. My dad is a walking miracle.

Also, in 2024 my great nephew, Rex, was born and he is an adorable little fellow. We visited him and his family, and I enjoyed holding the little guy.

In April my husband and I used some of our tax refunds to take a week-long trip to my best friend’s home. Cheryl had moved to the town where my husband grew up, and he enjoyed showing Cheryl and her boyfriend around. I introduced Cheryl to my good friend Terri, and the three of us had a fun lunch together. My husband and I had lunch with some of his family, and we had dinner with his sister and her family. We enjoyed our trip.

The CEO of One Life Project promoted me from Executive President’s Assistant to Executive President of Educational Outreach and Advocacy. I have been learning to move out of the background to become a leader. With One Life my husband and I traveled to Harrisburg and Hershey for events. Through One Life I have found myself trying and learning new things, stepping out of my comfort zone.

As of 2024 I am cancer free for six years and no longer must go to the cancer center every six months. I graduated to once a year. Friends and family have helped us out in many ways during our struggles.

Lou and I have had some fun times together creating new memories. We celebrated seventeen years with a nice dinner out. Our struggles have brought us even closer and have shown me I can take care of him as well as he takes care of me.

After reflecting on last year, I can see that despite the struggles and heartaches, there were many good things. This helps put a different perspective on 2024. The year wasn’t just an awful year; it was also good. I’m hoping that in 2025 there will be more positive than negative things happening in my life. It’s starting out rough with no unemployment to pay our bills, but I believe that things can only get better.

If you had a bad 2024, look back at that year and list the positive things that happened. Then reflect on the positive and let the bad things that happened stay in the past. Look at 2025 with hopes for a happy, healthy, and successful year. Things can always get better and there is always good despite the bad times. This might be the year you reach recovery and start a new beginning.

Despite the rough start to the new year, I believe it will get better. God has a plan to provide for us and because I believe this, I stand in the light being held by God’s mighty hands.

Happy New Year.