Tag: Lifes Challenges

WHEN LIFE KEEPS SLAPPING YOU

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Sometimes it seems like life is out to get you. It keeps slapping you with one problem, heartache, or struggle after another. It’s very easy to slip into depression, especially if you’re in recovery or working towards recovery from mental illness. It can seem overwhelming and hopeless. You wonder when will things get better.

Lately it seems like life keeps handing me with one problem and heartache after another. First Esther, our dog, had a lump removed from her leg, and I had to nurse her to recovery. Next the lump’s biopsy came back as cancer, and she got a bad infection that ate through her flesh to the bone. Then finally we had to send her over the rainbow bridge. It’s a heartache my husband and I are still dealing with. But it doesn’t end there.

We took a much-needed vacation to Johnstown where my husband grew up. Before we left the “check engine” sign came on in our SUV. We had it checked and it was the catalytic converter. My dad told me to get stuff to put in the gas to clean it out. It worked. We thought we were in the clear. We drove to many places on our trip and had a wonderful time. Then on the last day we found out my dad’s bone cancer came back and when we got home the check engine light came back on.

My dad does a lot for us. He fixed our furnace, put windows in our home, repaired my cars, put faucets in our sinks, with a friend he replaced the roof on our garage, and much more. He has always come to our rescue, especially now that my husband is sick. He is always supportive and encouraging. I can’t imagine life without him.

The cancer centers in Erie and Cleveland are moving fast to treat my dad. They are worried that the cancer spread, so he got a pet scan. July 7 they are drilling a hole in his spine to do a biopsy. July 8 he’s going to Cleveland Clinic for ten days to get a series of new shots that will make his immune system fight the cancer. We don’t know what side effects he’ll have from the shots.

Fourteen months ago, my dad had a procedure done that was supposed to put him into remission for five years. The procedure involved a very high dose of chemo which has caused him lasting side effects. I can’t imagine him going through even more.

On top of that my dad won’t be able to fix our car, and the repairs and even the cost of the catalytic converter are very expensive. They are beyond what we can afford. We are living paycheck to paycheck. We can’t finance a newer car either, but we can’t keep putting money into the one we have. So, we are searching the internet and car dealerships for an older car with low mileage. My dad told me what mileage to look for.

My husband and I continue to grieve the loss of Esther and adjust to life without her while worrying about my dad. On top of that I am stressed about finding a car we can afford. I already have taken on a lot of responsibilities while my husband is sick, and now I have more. How do I cope with all this? It’s a lot to deal with. The thing that keeps crossing my mind is I can’t lose my dad. I already lost my baby girl, Esther; I can’t lose anyone else.

My therapist tells me to allow myself to cry and to take care of myself; self-care is very important. She says to do things for me. Since my husband got sick, my life has mostly been revolved around taking care of him. Now my dad is sick, I’m focused on how I can help my parents out.

I have been sneaking off to our bedroom to watch TV alone while my husband watches TV downstairs just so I can relax and be free for a little while. After Esther passed, I had lunch with a friend. It was nice to talk and laugh with a friend instead of crying over our loss. Going on a trip was a way to have fun and get us out of the house that seems empty now. I’m writing this blog post and it helps me express myself. My husband and I are going to game night on Tuesday at a friend’s house. This will help keep my mind off everything going on.

I’m doing different things to take care of myself. I’m making sure I take my medication and keep my therapy and psychiatrist appointments. I’m journaling and leaning on my support system. I allow myself to cry. I try to find the positive in my life. I rest when I need to. I practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing and grounding techniques.

I’m taking each day one at a time and leaning on God to get me through this rough time in my life. I feel like life will not stop slapping me with problems, but I remind myself that things will get better.

By practicing self-care I am holding on tight to the light of recovery.

SELF-CARE WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU TOO MUCH

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

You know that old saying, “When it rains it pours?” Well it holds true to life’s challenges. When life’s challenges come raining down on us, it only takes a moment before more problems pour down. Things seem to go wrong all at once. They start small and get bigger. It’s a lot to handle. We often wonder if we have enough strength to handle it. It’s especially hard when you’re struggling with mental illness or are in recovery. How do you keep yourself from falling apart? What do you do for yourself during the rough times?

Lately life seems to be pouring problems down on my husband and me. It seems like it’s too much to handle. It started when we got our car inspected and found out we had a leak in the muffler. Then we got the dreaded phone call telling us our nephew had passed on, and after returning home from his memorial service, I got sick with a viral infection. We got an estimate on our muffler and found out we needed a new muffler and exhaust manifold. The cost was over a thousand dollars. Next my viral infection turned into a sinus infection, and I got a bad rash on my face. Then I didn’t see a car behind me while backing up and hit it. Finally, a lump on our dog’s leg grew bigger, and when we took her to the vet, they said there were unusual cells in it and they needed to remove it. Plus, they found that our dog has a significant heart murmur.

When I told my therapist about all the things going on in my life, she asked me, “What are you doing for yourself?”

I thought hard about it. How was I taking care of myself? When our nephew passed, I couldn’t cry and I struggled with grief and some depression. I poured out my emotions in my journal. I texted with my friend Cheryl. I took extra time off work to deal with the loss. With the muffler I took a deep breath and went through our finances to see how we could manage to get it repaired. I tried to stay positive by looking for good things about getting a new muffler, like with it fixed the car would be quieter. I practiced self-care.

At one time I used to force myself to go to work sick. That only ended up with me getting worse, and a few times I ended up in the ER with an IV. This time I called off work. I slept most of the day; when I was awake, I lay on the couch and watched TV with my husband. I didn’t do housework or even cook supper. I ordered dinner in and pampered myself. Part of self-care is nurturing yourself and taking care of your physical health along with your mental health.

I could have easily slipped into depression while things were going wrong, but I practiced self-care. I used my journal to express my feelings, I took my medications, I leaned on my support system, I did woodburning to help me relax, and I talked to my therapist. I also rested when I needed to and went to the doctor. Plus, I made sure to take my medications as prescribed.

When your life gives you too many challenges to handle, it’s important to take care of yourself mentally and physically. What things can you do to take care of your needs and to show yourself love? Self-care is more than just meditating and taking bubble baths. It’s about finding ways to relax, going to the doctor, resting when your body is tired, making important decisions, setting boundaries, and managing finances. Making self-care an important part of your life helps you get through mental illness and keeps you in recovery. When life gets to be too much to handle, make sure you take care of yourself this will help you face the hard times with strength.

Things have been very hard lately. The bad things don’t seem to stop happening. Life seems overwhelming. It seems like God is giving me too much to handle, but he helps me handle it. I make it a priority to use coping techniques and self-care to face each challenge, and this helps me stay in the light of recovery.

MENTAL HEALTH COMES FIRST

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

When I started my second book a year ago, my writers group told me the second book would be easier to write, and I would finish it sooner because now I know how to write a book. What no one could have predicted was life taking me down many bumpy roads. When I think things are going smoother, a big pothole forms and I must find my way around it. Luckily, I have lots of coping skills that help me stay above the potholes.

The road of life first started getting bumpy when my husband’s job started remodeling, and my husband got laid off. It went downhill from there. The potholes and bumps started getting bigger. He returned to work and put his back out of place, missing work. Then there were other health problems. Then he lost his job of thirty-four years. After that the potholes got deeper, and the bumps grew higher. I struggled to swerve around and climb over them. Writing my book started to trail behind me.

Then my dad got pneumonia and came very close to dying. At the same time my sister struggled with her vision. My sister needed someone to assist her in getting help. I took it upon myself to get her into a retina research doctor. My husband and I travel forty-five minutes to pick her up and then back again to take her to the doctor. Sometimes she spends the night at our house, which I enjoy.

I have been working hard to assist her in getting the help she needs. Since she lives in another state than the retina doctor we have to find her the specialist and tests the retina doctor, recommends in her state, so her insurance will pay. This has been a headache. I am trying to do my best to help her but the bumps in the road keep getting higher.

My husband got an illness that gave him no choice but to retire. He can no longer drive. I’m trying to be very supportive and comforting. He has been struggling to accept his diagnosis and accept having his freedom taken away from him. I’ve been trying to help him find a hobby and I give him things he can do while I’m at work. I take him for rides after work to get him out of the house. His illness has been very tough on him and hard on me. I’m climbing the bumps and swerving around the potholes the best I can.

Even though my dad has gotten better, he’s been struggling with bone cancer and chemo. April 9 he was admitted into Cleveland Clinic for a procedure that will hopefully put him into deep remission. He came home a week ago, but he is still recovering. He is weak and has some side effects from the procedure. The doctor says he will improve each day. I’m trying not to worry too much and be supportive. The potholes dare me to fall in, but I veer around them.

All these bumps in the road caused the potholes to only get deeper. I teetered on the edge coming close to falling in. My emotions have been strong, and I record them in my journal. The problem is my writing was left back down the road, always stuck in a rut. I can pour out my thoughts in these blog posts, but I can’t go back to reliving the pain of the past to write my book.

My second memoir, like my first, involves writing about some deep emotions and about very painful times in my life. It’s very hard to write about this when I’m climbing over the bumps and working to avoid the potholes in my present life. I can’t risk falling into the holes by adding the pain of the past with the bumpy roads of the present. So, I have not been working on my book. I’ve taken it out of the rut, and I’m allowing it to sit beside the road until things get better or when I feel like I can handle working on it again. Right now, my focus is on my family and taking care of my mental health. I will finish my book, but it must be when I’m sure I can handle reliving the past. Falling down a hole of any type is not an option. I can’t go in that direction again.

Life always has bumpy roads and big potholes, but you are strong. You can make it over the bumps and around the potholes. When things get tough, remember to use your coping techniques and make sure your mental health takes priority. If you have to leave things lingering on the side of the road while you’re avoiding the potholes, that’s okay. Your mental illness must come first.

Despite everything going on in my life, I have been using coping techniques I have learned, and I think I’m doing well. I’m very proud of how well I am handling everything. Coping helps me stand above the potholes and in the light of recovery.