Tag: Car problems

WHEN LIFE KEEPS SLAPPING YOU

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Sometimes it seems like life is out to get you. It keeps slapping you with one problem, heartache, or struggle after another. It’s very easy to slip into depression, especially if you’re in recovery or working towards recovery from mental illness. It can seem overwhelming and hopeless. You wonder when will things get better.

Lately it seems like life keeps handing me with one problem and heartache after another. First Esther, our dog, had a lump removed from her leg, and I had to nurse her to recovery. Next the lump’s biopsy came back as cancer, and she got a bad infection that ate through her flesh to the bone. Then finally we had to send her over the rainbow bridge. It’s a heartache my husband and I are still dealing with. But it doesn’t end there.

We took a much-needed vacation to Johnstown where my husband grew up. Before we left the “check engine” sign came on in our SUV. We had it checked and it was the catalytic converter. My dad told me to get stuff to put in the gas to clean it out. It worked. We thought we were in the clear. We drove to many places on our trip and had a wonderful time. Then on the last day we found out my dad’s bone cancer came back and when we got home the check engine light came back on.

My dad does a lot for us. He fixed our furnace, put windows in our home, repaired my cars, put faucets in our sinks, with a friend he replaced the roof on our garage, and much more. He has always come to our rescue, especially now that my husband is sick. He is always supportive and encouraging. I can’t imagine life without him.

The cancer centers in Erie and Cleveland are moving fast to treat my dad. They are worried that the cancer spread, so he got a pet scan. July 7 they are drilling a hole in his spine to do a biopsy. July 8 he’s going to Cleveland Clinic for ten days to get a series of new shots that will make his immune system fight the cancer. We don’t know what side effects he’ll have from the shots.

Fourteen months ago, my dad had a procedure done that was supposed to put him into remission for five years. The procedure involved a very high dose of chemo which has caused him lasting side effects. I can’t imagine him going through even more.

On top of that my dad won’t be able to fix our car, and the repairs and even the cost of the catalytic converter are very expensive. They are beyond what we can afford. We are living paycheck to paycheck. We can’t finance a newer car either, but we can’t keep putting money into the one we have. So, we are searching the internet and car dealerships for an older car with low mileage. My dad told me what mileage to look for.

My husband and I continue to grieve the loss of Esther and adjust to life without her while worrying about my dad. On top of that I am stressed about finding a car we can afford. I already have taken on a lot of responsibilities while my husband is sick, and now I have more. How do I cope with all this? It’s a lot to deal with. The thing that keeps crossing my mind is I can’t lose my dad. I already lost my baby girl, Esther; I can’t lose anyone else.

My therapist tells me to allow myself to cry and to take care of myself; self-care is very important. She says to do things for me. Since my husband got sick, my life has mostly been revolved around taking care of him. Now my dad is sick, I’m focused on how I can help my parents out.

I have been sneaking off to our bedroom to watch TV alone while my husband watches TV downstairs just so I can relax and be free for a little while. After Esther passed, I had lunch with a friend. It was nice to talk and laugh with a friend instead of crying over our loss. Going on a trip was a way to have fun and get us out of the house that seems empty now. I’m writing this blog post and it helps me express myself. My husband and I are going to game night on Tuesday at a friend’s house. This will help keep my mind off everything going on.

I’m doing different things to take care of myself. I’m making sure I take my medication and keep my therapy and psychiatrist appointments. I’m journaling and leaning on my support system. I allow myself to cry. I try to find the positive in my life. I rest when I need to. I practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing and grounding techniques.

I’m taking each day one at a time and leaning on God to get me through this rough time in my life. I feel like life will not stop slapping me with problems, but I remind myself that things will get better.

By practicing self-care I am holding on tight to the light of recovery.

SNOWAGEDDON AND DRAMA

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

Living by one of the great lakes, Lake Erie, makes weather in Erie PA and the regions nearby unpredictable. In 2017 we had nearly five feet of snow dumped on us on Christmas day, and my husband and I were stranded over night at my parents. Over the past few years, we have been lucky and had mild winters. I hoped this year would be easy too, but the unpredictable lake had other plans for us.

Thanksgiving Day was a clear and calm day. Then I woke up Friday morning to snow falling like God was dumping it from heaven in truck loads. My husband, Lou, was supposed to have an interview that afternoon. He drove me to work in slim visibility. I told him not to go to the interview and try to call them instead. I started work while he attempted to call, but he just got an answering machine. He then left to go home. I cashed out customers and Lou came to me upset. The vehicle would not start, and alarms were going off.

I handed a customer a bag of groceries and turned to my husband. “Maybe the steering wheel is locked. Try moving it around.”

For an hour Lou was in and out of the store trying everything he could think of to get our SUV to start. He came to me upset and soaked. Since I was working, I couldn’t help him. I told him to stay inside and dry off in the café until I got my break. When I got my break, we both went out to our SUV. This time we couldn’t open the doors. We went inside and I tried to call a few garages, but  I only got answering machines. The snow just kept coming down, so I told Lou to just relax in the café until I got off work.

Fifteen minutes before my shift ended Lou found a friend to take us home. My boss let me go early. He drove us to the end of our road, but the snow was so deep that cars were stuck in the road. We had to walk up a block to our home wile snow pounded us in the face. We only had the back door key, but our neighbor had the sidewalk to the front shoveled. We live in a row house, which is like a condominium. One side we are attached to a block of row houses, and on the other we have a small fenced in yard. On the other side of the fences was a long row of more houses. The yard was too deep to walk through and the alley where we usually park our cars was unplowed. Our neighbor let me walk through their house to the back. I waded through snow past my knees to our driveway. I pulled the gate to our fence, opened it a little, and squeezed through. I waded through more snow until I got on our deck and into the house. I let Lou in the front door.

Our front porch.

The next two days I was off work. I didn’t leave the house on Saturday and on Sunday my neighbor took me to the store to get a few things. The snow continued to pile up. I binged on Netflix, worked on workbooks for One Life Project, texted with my friends, and watched Christmas movies with my husband. We watched the news to find that they declared a snow emergency for Erie and called in the National Guard. People were stranded on the major highways and warming centers were being put in place.

Monday it stopped snowing during the day, but the roads were bad. Buses were canceled so I called off work. I had no way of getting there. My dad traveled from Ripley NY, a half hour away for his treatment at the cancer center. Afterwards he tried to get our vehicle started with no luck. My parents took us back to Ripley with them and my dad lent us his pickup. It was nice to have a vehicle to drive, but since I’m short, getting into my dad’s pickup was like climbing a mountain. Getting out I had to slide off the edge of the seat until I reached the ground.

The next day my dad had our vehicle towed. On Wednesday he told us to bring our spare key fob because the one we were using was causing our car problems. That night we drove our car home. The next day when we tried to start it, it wouldn’t start again. We tried to go back in the house, but I had accidentally locked us out. I had a spare key for the back door. So once again, we went through our neighbor’s house to the back of the house. This time the snow was waist deep, and we had to use our neighbor’s shovel to remove snow from around the gate in order for me to squeeze through. I got in the house and let my husband in the front door. We called my dad and spent the rest of the day at home.

Our back yard and porch that I had to wade through

The next morning my parents came so my dad could check the battery in our car. The battery was dead. My dad dropped me off at work and went and got a battery. When my husband showed up for my break, I knew our SUV was running again.

For that whole week it snowed each night, adding to the snow total and back roads became narrower and narrower. The snowplows ran tirelessly, but there was no place to put the snow. By Tuesday the following week customers were starting to dig themselves out and were filling the aisles of the grocery stores. By Friday the news said we had a little over four feet of snow.

I could have gotten down and depressed with our situation, but instead I kept myself busy. I was stressed and frustrated with our car problems, but my dad, our hero, came to our rescue. We were in a bad situation, but as my friend Amy always says, “God will provide,” and he did. Each time I started to worry I texted a friend or found something to do. I kind of liked my two days off from work and away from reality. We were nice and warm in our home.

If you are feeling trapped by the winter weather and dealing with problems you can’t control, turn to your support system, find things to keep you busy, pamper yourself, and find ways to relax. Life throws us in a snowbank sometimes, and it’s up to us to dig ourselves out and to cope.

Next week they are predicting warmer temperatures and rain. We might be swimming our way around Erie. I stayed strong through our drama and because of that I am dancing in the light of recovery.