Tag: Mental Illness

CATASTORPHIZING

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

This week was a very busy week for me and my husband and on Saturday Lou and I took a four-hour trip to Harrisburg and back for an event for One Life Project. So, this week I’m reposting an older post.

When you’re in the depth of the dark hole of depression it is easy for your thinking to become distorted. There are several types of cognitive distortions such as all-or-nothing thinking, overgeneralization, mental filter, disqualifying the positive, jumping to conclusions, magnification (catastrophizing)and so on. It’s easy for your thoughts to take on a life of their own, sending you deeper into your illness. You become stuck in a defeating pattern of anguish.

It’s easy to take a small incident and in your mind turn it into a catastrophe. David D. Burns, M.D.’s book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy lists this type of thinking as magnification (catastrophizing). It describes it as exaggerating the importance of things. It’s taking a simple mistake and turning it into a disaster or worse. Just recently I found myself caught in this type of thinking and I wanted to share it with you.

Just a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving I got sick. I had to take two weeks off work. I had my doctor send an excuse for my absence. When I was feeling better, I had my doctor send a return to work note. When I came back, they were surprised to see me. They thought I would be out longer. I worked three days the week of Thanksgiving. We get our schedules online or on an app on our phones. The day after Thanksgiving I checked my app and there was no schedule for the following week. I called the store where I work and was told I wasn’t on the schedule. The coordinator (takes care of the front end and gives breaks) said he would message the front-end manager to find out why.

Early that day I received a paper about applying for disability through work. Before Thanksgiving the store’s personnel manager asked me why I had a doctor’s note to be on express checkout. I explained to her it was because I have osteoporosis, and it is worse in my back. She told me they would try to accommodate me but at times I may have to go on full size register.

After hearing the coordinator saying I didn’t have a schedule my mind went crazy. I became determined that personnel was forcing me to take a leave of absence. Osteoporosis doesn’t just go away. It can improve with treatment, but it doesn’t suddenly get better. I have had one infusion so far to stop it’s progression. It would take time to improve. If I had to take a leave, I would never be able to return. It could take years for my bones to become strong enough for me to lift heavy items and to work regular register.

A simple problem suddenly grew into a catastrophe. If I am forced to take a leave, I will lose my job. I can’t sit around home all day and do nothing. I need my job. It’s how I manage my depression. Without my job I would slip deep into my illness. I wouldn’t see my customers anymore and I’d lose my insurance which pays for my medication, part of my infusion, my psychiatrist, and many health problems. I could apply for Social Security disability but that could take a long time and we would go broke and lose our home.

I ran upstairs and woke my husband. I told him what happened and began crying.

He wrapped his arms around me. “It’s probably a mistake. Don’t worry about it.”

I cried harder. “I’m not stupid. I know what they are doing. They are making me take a leave because I have osteoporosis. That’s why they sent me the disability papers.”

Lou wiped my tears away. “Come to bed. You need to be up here with me.”

I went back downstairs and shut the lights off and went to bed. I lay in Lou’s arms and cried uncontrollably. Lou held me, telling me everything was going to be okay.

I sniffled. “I can’t lose my job. I can’t be stuck at home all the time. I can’t go back into depression. They can’t do this to me.”

“Now, now, you’re not going to lose your job. Tomorrow you’ll talk to your manager. It’s probably a mistake. They wouldn’t make you take a leave without talking to you,” Lou whispered.

I buried my face in his chest. “I know what they are doing. They don’t want me working there because I have osteoporosis. I’ll lose my job. I wish I would have killed myself years ago.”

Lou continued to comfort me until eventually I cried myself to sleep. The next morning my manager contacted me. She said because I was off work the company took me out of the computer and she was unable to put me on the schedule. She apologized and assured she would get me a schedule for the following week when she got to work, and she did. The union representative said I probably received the disability papers because they thought I was going to be on sick leave longer than I was.

I took a simple situation and turned it into a catastrophe. I let my mind magnify me not being on to the schedule into something horrible when it was a simple flaw that could easily be fixed. Even in recovery I can have times where distorted thinking takes control of my mind. Who knows what I would have done if my husband wasn’t there to comfort me? I might have hurt myself over a simple mistake.

If you find yourself magnifying a simple incident into a catastrophe, turn to someone who can help you talk it out and see your thinking is distorted. Get David D. Burns, M.D.’s book Feeling Good and read through the types of cognitive distortions and identify which ones you struggle with. Talk to a therapist about them and learn how to change your pattern of thinking into something more positive and how to cope when the distortions become overbearing. Educate your support system about the types of cognitive distortions you struggle with so they can help you.

Through this blog I have educated my husband and friends about the cognitive distortions I struggle with. My husband and friends are good at using what they learned to help me. Without my husband that night I might have harmed myself. I’m happy to have a husband who talked to me and held me until I was calm enough to sleep. With his help I stand in the light of recovery.

HELPING THE YOUTH

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

When I was in school, I struggled with mental illness, and I had no idea what was wrong with me. I kept my struggle to myself because I feared no one would understand the horrible feelings that plagued me. I fought deep sadness, inner pain, and racing thoughts in silence. When I went to school, in the seventies and eighties mental illness wasn’t talked about in or out of school.

Sad woman silhouette sitting alone on white background

My struggles followed me into college and adulthood. Now I work for One Life Project to help children find help and to educate them, so they don’t have to struggle alone.

I started with One Life Project in 2018 when it was called National Internet Safety and Cyberbullying Taskforce, and I have watched it grow as it changed into One Life Project (OLP). With One Life Project I believe I’m reaching out and touching one life at a time and making a difference. OLP helps make the world a kinder place where we advocate for, educate, and support youth with their mental health in the hopes to prevent suicide in our youth and to end the stigma surrounding mental health.

I started writing blog posts in 2018 for the Taskforce. I also helped interview volunteers and set up events. I was totally confused and nervous about my role of setting up events. Then when the Taskforce became One Life Project I took on new roles first as a director, then as the president’s assistant, and now as executive president of educational outreach and advocacy. As I take on my new role, I am learning to become a leader and advocate. I learned that I’m good at doing research, and I’m learning how to put projects together such as workbooks for college students. So far, I’ve helped edit a self-esteem workbook and I’m currently helping the president put together a sexual assault workbook. The next workbook I will be working on is deals with teen bullying, a subject I have become well acquainted with.

I believe strongly in the work One Life is doing, the projects I’m working on, and the subjects I’m researching. I believe if we can educate our youth early and support them then they can reach recovery from mental illness before they reach their adulthood. No child should struggle in silence and feel afraid to ask for help. No child should feel there is no help and the only way to receive relief is by taking his or her life. No parent should be confused with what is going on with their child or not knowing how to help their child. Working with OLP I’m helping to make sure that our youth and their parents are educated.

The workbooks and the educational materials I’m taking part in is going to help thousands of our youth with some very rough times in their lives. I’m proud to be a part of this. I don’t want to see our teens, our college students, and our young adults struggle like I did. Each youth is important and deserves to be educated, supported, and advocated for.

If mental health was talked about and taught when I was young, I may have never struggled into my adulthood or kept my struggles quiet. I would have been able to turn to my parents without fear, and they would have known how to help me. Instead, I learned after hitting rock bottom and trying to take my life from a pamphlet I found at college that I had an illness. After that I took a year off from college and got the help I needed. It has taken me into my adult years to reach recovery.

I’m still learning my role as executive president of educational outreach and advocacy, but I’m excited to grow as a leader and advocate. OLP is also helping me grow as a person and learn new things about myself. Check out One Life Project at https://www.projectonelife.org/

Working for One Life Project and believing in their mission is helping me grow into a better person and stand proudly in the light of recovery.

GOSSIP AND BULLYING

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Gossip has been a part of our culture for years. We have all taken part in it in some way or another. We think nothing of it like it’s a natural part of being humans, but gossip is a form of bullying. Many people’s lives are ruined by this form of bullying. The victims of gossip are hurt emotionally and sometimes physically by a false tale spread by many.

I was told by an ex-employee of my workplace that the boss’s girlfriend left him. So, when I went to work the next day, I asked a fellow employee if it was true. Next thing I knew she was telling other employees and then she told the boss. Before I knew it my boss took me aside to lecture me about passing rumors. I felt bad. I didn’t mean for it to become a rumor, but it did. I realized after I was lectured that I should have asked the boss or just let it go until it was verified by him or his girlfriend who came in regularly.

In the small town I live in there was a rumor that one of the town women was cheating on her husband. The rumor soon became that she was seeing several men. The rumor kept growing and in time the couple’s marriage fell apart. After the damage was done the truth came out that she never cheated on her husband, but instead was hanging out with some of her women friends. I can’t imagine how hurt the woman was by a lie that destroyed her marriage. She was probably not only hurt by the gossip, but also by her husband not trusting her. The husband was probably hurt too by being led to believe his wife was betraying him.

Gossip starts with someone telling one person something they heard and then it gets passed around. As it gets passed around, it changes and grows into something worse. Bullying is a form of abuse that is repeated physically, verbally, or socially. Verbal bullying is the repetition of mean things being said. Gossip is where a truth or lie is turned into something false and repeated continually until it grows into something awful. The rumors hurt a person’s wellbeing and are repeated, making it a form of bullying.

When I worked in the bakery, the ladies told me different stories about how the Greek lady who worked with us faked her accent to appear innocent and turned around and stabbed them in the back. I was told stories of mean things she did to them. Each person made her sound worse. When I got to know her, I realized that they were passing rumors that were not true. Her accent was real, and she had interesting stories to tell about her culture. I found her to be kind and caring. What the other ladies said about her were all lies. In time the rumors and the way she was treated hurt her so badly that she ended up leaving.

We should never pass around anything that is told to us, especially if it’s told in confidence. We should also never believe what is told about a person until we confirm whether it’s true or not with the person it’s about. If you hear something about a person don’t repeat it. If you do, you become one of the bullies.

Gossip happens in schools, communities, workplaces, and even in churches. It’s up to us to put an end to it. We must stand up and say stop passing things that are not true and stop believing things we hear from others instead of the person, him or herself. Let the gossip stop with you.

You teach your children with different parenting methods, but also by your own actions. If you go around spreading gossip, then your child sees it and thinks it’s okay. So, he or she goes to school and passes rumors. Sometimes bullies are created by their parents. Be an inspiration to your children, teach them to always be kind, and practice what you teach. Teach your children about gossip and not to pass things around that are told to them. Teach them to always look for the truth.

There is a lot of gossip going around where I work. I don’t pass around what I hear, and I find out the truth before believing what I am told. By standing up against bullying and its different forms like gossip, I stand tall in the light of recovery.

GOSSIP AND BULLYING

Gossip has been a part of our culture for years. We have all taken part in it in some way or another. We think nothing of it like it’s a natural part of being humans, but gossip is a form of bullying. Many people’s lives are ruined by this form of bullying. The victims of gossip are hurt emotionally and sometimes physically by a false tale spread by many.

I was told by an ex-employee of my workplace that the boss’s girlfriend left him. So, when I went to work the next day, I asked a fellow employee if it was true. Next thing I knew she was telling other employees and then she told the boss. Before I knew it my boss took me aside to lecture me about passing rumors. I felt bad. I didn’t mean for it to become a rumor, but it did. I realized after I was lectured that I should have asked the boss or just let it go until it was verified by him or his girlfriend who came in regularly.

In the small town I live in there was a rumor that one of the town women was cheating on her husband. The rumor soon became that she was seeing several men. The rumor kept growing and in time the couple’s marriage fell apart. After the damage was done the truth came out that she never cheated on her husband, but instead was hanging out with some of her women friends. I can’t imagine how hurt the woman was by a lie that destroyed her marriage. She was probably not only hurt by the gossip, but also by her husband not trusting her. The husband was probably hurt too by being led to believe his wife was betraying him.

Gossip starts with someone telling one person something they heard and then it gets passed around. As it gets passed around, it changes and grows into something worse. Bullying is a form of abuse that is repeated physically, verbally, or socially. Verbal bullying is the repetition of mean things being said. Gossip is where a truth or lie is turned into something false and repeated continually until it grows into something awful. The rumors hurt a person’s wellbeing and are repeated, making it a form of bullying.

When I worked in the bakery, the ladies told me different stories about how the Greek lady who worked with us faked her accent to appear innocent and turned around and stabbed them in the back. I was told stories of mean things she did to them. Each person made her sound worse. When I got to know her, I realized that they were passing rumors that were not true. Her accent was real, and she had interesting stories to tell about her culture. I found her to be kind and caring. What the other ladies said about her were all lies. In time the rumors and the way she was treated hurt her so badly that she ended up leaving.

We should never pass around anything that is told to us, especially if it’s told in confidence. We should also never believe what is told about a person until we confirm whether it’s true or not with the person it’s about. If you hear something about a person don’t repeat it. If you do, you become one of the bullies.

Gossip happens in schools, communities, workplaces, and even in churches. It’s up to us to put an end to it. We must stand up and say stop passing things that are not true and stop believing things we hear from others instead of the person, him or herself. Let the gossip stop with you.

You teach your children with different parenting methods, but also by your own actions. If you go around spreading gossip, then your child sees it and thinks it’s okay. So, he or she goes to school and passes rumors. Sometimes bullies are created by their parents. Be an inspiration to your children, teach them to always be kind, and practice what you teach. Teach your children about gossip and not to pass things around that are told to them. Teach them to always look for the truth.

There is a lot of gossip going around where I work. I don’t pass around what I hear, and I find out the truth before believing what I am told. By standing up against bullying and its different forms like gossip, I stand tall in the light of recovery.

GOOD COMES FROM THE BAD

Published on by Aimee Eddy4 Comments

When struggling with mental illness, we often see nothing but the bad things in our lives. We think the bad will never end and we can’t see past it. What we don’t see is that good comes from the bad things that happen to us. We must struggle until we find life’s positives. The rough times build us up and make us stronger.

My husband’s grandmother raised him and when she got sick, he had to move to a new city to live with his dad. His dad wasn’t the best dad in the world. He put my husband through some rough times. Then years later he was engaged to a woman who died. If he hadn’t moved to a new city and he hadn’t lost his fiancée, we would have never met and have such a beautiful marriage. God saw his struggles and brought him happiness.

I struggled with bullying to be able to write a book to help educate and help others. My book is one of the good things that came out of the abuse I faced in school. Writing the book helped me heal from old wounds. I struggled with mental illness so I can write this blog to reach out to others and help them. I struggled so good could come from it.

Before I met my husband, I was in an abusive relationship. After my partner kicked me out and I spent time in a mental health hospital, I swore I would never date again. I figured I would live with my parents until they passed and then live with one of my siblings. A lady at work insisted I meet this man whose fiancée had died. After a lot of convincing from my therapist and a friend, I agreed on one date. In six months, that man proposed to me. Who knows what would have happened if my ex had never kicked me out? I may have never met the man of my dreams and found happiness.

It’s the circle of life. Everyone goes through bad times and struggles with heartaches. If we look at the rough times and tell ourselves, “I’m struggling now, but in time something good will come out of this,” we just might be able to find hope within the darkness. God carries us through life’s hard times, and he brings us good things. He has plans for us even when we can’t see past our heart aches.

Rough times help us grow stronger and learn lessons. If life were easy, we would never grow into the people we are. Because I struggled with bullying, mental illness, and abuse from a boyfriend, I have become stronger and wiser. I have educated myself about bullying and mental illness. I’ve broken free of my fear of being hurt by others to make many friends. I have grown into a stronger, more compassionate, and determined person. That is something good that came out of the bad.

Right now, my husband and I are struggling financially, and the bills are increasing. I keep reminding myself that good will come to us. This gives me hope. It helps me from falling apart and keeps me above the dark hole.

It’s easy to see life as hopeless when things are going wrong and we are struggling. Try to look at your rough times differently. Try to see that, in time, good will come from your bad times. Better times are in your future, and good things will come your way. We don’t struggle for nothing. We struggle to grow as a person and to find the good in our lives. Maybe your husband leaving you hurts, but in the future, you might find a kinder man who will love you the way you should be loved. Look for the light out of the darkness.

Good things have come from the bad things I have faced in my life. Holding on to the knowledge that God will bring joy from my struggles helps me stand in the light of recovery.

FROM THE BRINK OF TRAGEDY TO RECOVERY

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

My family’s life was turned upside down two weeks ago. On the fourth of July, my husband and I picked up my older sister who lives forty minutes away and drove her to my parents’ home for a picnic. It was a beautiful day. My uncle brought us leftover food from his grandson’s graduation, so no one had to cook. Mom warmed up the food and we sat at a table under a big oak tree and ate and talked. It seemed like the perfect day. Dad was in good spirits and was joking around with us like he usually does. Around four o’clock we drove my sister home and then drove back to our house. Then my husband and I watched fireworks, which seemed like a perfect end to a great day. We had no idea that our lives would soon be sent into a whirl wind.

The next day I called my mom to find out my dad had spent the night getting sick. She had called the cancer center, and they told her if he didn’t get better to take him to the emergency room. The following day Mom met my husband and me at a funeral home to go to the viewing of a friend who had passed. Mom told me Dad was doing better, but was very weak. So, we figured the food he ate didn’t agree with him since he was on chemo, or it was a reaction to the weekly shot he gets every Wednesday to fight the cancer.

Later that night my mom called me to tell me my dad was sick again, and they were at the ER. My husband and I waited for a phone call late into the night. I was sick with worry, and I had called my siblings to let them know Dad was in the ER. My younger sister and brother texted on our group chat from time to time, asking if I had heard anything. At one in the morning my mom called to tell me my dad had pneumonia in his left lung and was air-flighted to a hospital in Erie, a half hour away.

After I called all my siblings, I went to bed, but struggled to sleep. In the morning, my mom called and said my dad had taken a turn for the worse and was on a ventilator in intensive care. Dad had arrived at the hospital in renal failure, but the doctor on call saved him from dying. From that point on it was a matter of praying he would survive.

I called each of my siblings to tell them. My brother lives in Tennessee, and my younger sister lives in North Carolina, and they both made plans to come to town. Once they arrived, each day we gathered in the waiting room and took turns going into the ICU to hold Dad’s hand and to encourage him to fight. Only two people were allowed to go in at a time.

At home I cried in my husband’s arms, afraid that I was going to lose my dad, the man who always came to our rescue when my husband and I were in need, the man who believed in me being able to write a book when I lost hope, and the man who helped others without asking for anything in return. My emotions twisted within me, and I felt like I was falling into the hole of depression again. No matter how much I slept at night, it wasn’t enough, and I felt drained physically and mentally. I turned to my support system and journaled out my feelings. My friend Cheryl texted with me often to support me through this, and my friend Amy called and still calls me each day to see how I am and to get updates on my dad. I thought I needed a higher dose of my antidepressants to deal with the situation, but my psychiatrist disagreed. He said what I was feeling and how I was reacting was normal for the situation.

My dad had IVs in his arms and neck. His arms were strapped to the bed so he wouldn’t reach up and pull out the ventilator. He could nod his head when we talked to him, he squeezed our hands, and moved his legs. Nurses kept an eye on him round the clock, and different doctors came in and out. I wanted to cry each time I saw him, but knew I had to be strong for him. After six days my brother, his family, and I went to the hospital. I sat in the waiting room with my niece and nephews. My brother and his wife went back to see my dad.

After a while, my brother came out with a smile. “Dad’s off the ventilator and he can talk some.”

My niece and I went back, and my dad looked at me and said, “I love you, Aimee.” Then he looked at my niece and said, “I love you, Sara.”

He struggled to force his words out and his voice was garbled, but his words were music to my ears.

I looked at my father and said, “Dad, you’ll be tickling us again in no time.”

“He can tickle you now,” the nurse said.

Dad started rubbing his fingers on our arms in an attempt to tickle my niece and me. I didn’t know whether to cry or laugh. So, I laughed. As the day went on, he was able to talk more and joke around. After a few days he was moved out of ICU to a regular room, and he was looking more like himself. He was extremely weak, but in good spirits. My husband and I picked up my older sister to visit dad in the ICU and then in a regular room.

I posted on Facebook updates on my dad asking for prayers, and the prayers were answered. Each day he made new improvements. Now two weeks later he is in rehab, determined to get stronger so he can go home. We continue to visit him in rehab, and each day he’s getting stronger and is acting more and more like himself. My dad’s heart is weakened by everything he’s been through, and they are trying to strengthen it. He has fluid in his legs and feet, and they are giving him a diuretic to get rid of it, but they believe he will be able to return home in a week.

The thought of losing my dad scared me. I can’t imagine my life without him in it. I know he won’t live forever, and I thank God for giving me more time with him. This situation showed me how short life is and how God carries us through the rough times. It also showed me that I am stronger than I think. I did what I needed to deal with nearly losing my dad. I used coping techniques to keep me above the hole of depression.

Hold on to those close to you, tell people you love them, and don’t hold grudges. If you find yourself in a situation where your entire world is being turned inside out, use coping techniques and your support systems to get you through. Give yourself credit; you are strong.

I believe I handled nearly losing my dad quite well even when I thought I wasn’t. Leaning on my support team and using my coping techniques helped me stay in the light of recovery.

THE GOOD SIDE OF A BAD VACATION

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Even when we make the best plans for our life, things can go wrong. The best plans can be ruined in a second by an unexpected illness, a tragedy, or an injury. Life never works out exactly how we want it to. Life’s unexpected roadblocks can be hard to handle when you are working towards recovery or are in recovery from mental illness. How you handle these roadblocks is what keeps you on the right track towards or keeping in, recovery.

Last week I had planned for a vacation from work. Lou still had to work, but we planned one night out of town at a hotel and a day at a safari and shopping. The rest of my vacation I planned to put up our small pool, do laundry, and get the old 70’s -80’s entertainment center out of our living room and set up a TV stand. I even planned to buckle down and work on my next book. I was going to start my vacation with a Father’s Day picnic with my dad and family. I was looking forward to a week away from work, getting things done, and having some fun, but life threw a roadblock in my way and turned my vacation upside down.

The Thursday before my vacation I felt rundown. I thought maybe it was just an off day or a one-day thing, but when I woke up on Friday, I felt even more fatigued, my throat hurt, and I was coughing. My husband told me to call off work, but I was stubborn and went in. Halfway through my shift I felt so sick I could barely stand. I went home early and had to call off on Saturday. I lay in bed crying. Since I was sick, I couldn’t be anywhere near my dad since he’s going through cancer. My oldest sister was also sick, and my younger siblings live out of town. There would be none of us kids to spend Father’s Day with my dad. I felt awful about it. This was going to be the first Father’s Day in a long time I wasn’t going to spend with him.

I called and told my dad I was on vacation and if I were better by the end of the week, we could celebrate. I set my hopes on that. I told my husband we would have to lose our money for our night away, but he told me, “We’ll see how you are by Tuesday.” I started my vacation too sick to move, coughing so hard my stomach hurt, and unable to eat much food. Father’s Day I lay on the couch, sucking cough drops, and watching movies in between drifting off to sleep. My automatic thoughts were negative. My vacation was going to be an absolute disaster. We were going to lose our money on our hotel room and be stuck at home. Everything I had planned would never get done, and I was going to spend the whole week miserable.

Lou didn’t give up on our night away. He took me to the doctor on Monday. The doctor prescribed me cough medicine and a steroid because my asthma flared up by my illness. She diagnosed me with a viral infection and prescribed me lots of rest. I was feeling better by Monday, with a little more energy, but the cough was horrible. I had to curl up in a ball and clench my stomach each time I coughed.

Lou said, “How about I drive to the hotel, we get some food to eat, and spend the night resting in air conditioning. I’ll get us some snacks foods and I’ll take care of you. Since we’re going through a heat wave the air conditioning will help your breathing.”

I wasn’t too sure about this idea. Was I well enough for the ride? Would it be fair for Lou to do all the driving? What if I just got sicker? Would I even enjoy it? I agreed to our overnight trip but wasn’t too sure about it. I feared it would be a disaster.

We went on our trip. The cough medicine helped ease my coughing, I slept while Lou drove, and when we got there, I had more energy. We were able to have dinner out and spend the night relaxing in our room, eating junk food. Lou watched sports on the TV, and I watched movies on a portable DVD player. It turned out to be a very relaxing night away and I enjoyed it. The hotel had a very good free breakfast, and we went to Walmart to pick up a few things before heading home the next day. I was glad Lou wouldn’t let me cancel it.

Thursday morning Lou called me from work to tell me he wasn’t feeling good and was coming home. He was lightheaded so I took him to the ER. We sat in the ER waiting room for over five hours without them calling us back to a room. When I asked the woman at the check in desk how much longer until they call my husband back, they couldn’t find him in the computer. She went over and took his wrist band, told me to sit down and she would be right back. We sat and sat and she never came back. We got mad and left. That night while he slept, I had extra energy, so I went outside and put our pool up. Then I went inside and lay down. The next day I took Lou to Urgent Care to find out he had bronchitis.

I kept thinking this is the vacation from hell. Everything was going wrong. First, I was sick, then a horrible day at the ER, and next Lou was sick. Then I started to look at the positive side to my awful vacation: we still got to spend the night away, I got to sleep in and watch movies all day, I still was able to put the pool up, and I did sit in it for a couple days. I didn’t have to call off from work and I got paid to be sick.

Why am I telling you about my bad vacation? Because no matter how bad things, get there is a good side to everything. It’s so hard to see it when we are going though the difficult times, but the good is there. Instead of dwelling on the bad try to find the positive in what you are going through. Good comes from the bad.

As I write this, I’m not a hundred percent better, but I’m much better than I was. I still have a milder cough, my voice is hoarse, and I’m weak, but I’m ready to go back to work. Looking at the positive side of difficult situations keeps me soaking in the light of recovery.

TIPS FOR CONTROLING OVERREACTIONS WHEN YOU’RE EMOTIONAL

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

We often react irrationally when we are angry or frustrated. We say things we don’t mean, and we behave badly. It’s easy to lose track of ourselves when our emotions get the best of us. The same is true when you are struggling with depression. When you’re feeling very sad and hopeless, everything seems overwhelming and your emotions become out of control. You get hurt by simple reactions from others, you might see a friend canceling something as if they are doing it to hurt you, or you might overreact to a text or comment a person makes to you. To protect yourself you might say, text, or react badly towards the person whose intentions you misperceive

I have misinterpreted many things while I was at my worst. I have overreacted to others’ simple words and reactions. When a friend had an emergency come up, I interpreted her canceling a get-together as “She doesn’t want to spend time with me.” I’ve mistaken others’ intentions or misread things people have said. My wrongful reactions have cost me friendships or led me to hurt people I care about. So, I came up with tips to help you take control of your reactions so you can handle situations better.

Here are my tips:

  • Don’t react when you are very emotional. If you’re feeling down and you’re flooded with emotions, allow yourself to calm down and think more clearly before dealing with a disagreement or something that might have been said or done. Like when a friend told you she doesn’t have time to talk to you right now. You might be angry, sad, and hurt. All those emotions flood you and you start thinking your friendship is over and your friend hates you. In this case you might be attempted to say or text something mean. Instead of saying something you’ll regret, give yourself time to calm down. When you are calm, talk to your friend.
  • When a friend cancels something, don’t take it personally. Emergencies come up, people get sick, and plans change. Don’t automatically think it’s because the friend is trying to hurt you, doesn’t have time for you, or the friend doesn’t want to be around you. Ask him or her why he or she canceled. If you take the time to talk to your friend before you jump to a conclusion, you might just find out the cancellation has nothing to do with you, and you might be able to reschedule with your friend.
  • Write down your thoughts and feelings. When you are upset with someone, put your thoughts and feelings down on paper in a journal. Write out all those crazy thoughts that are driven by your emotions before you say something you don’t mean to. Once you get all those feelings and bad thoughts out, look at them and see if you can understand them differently, then write that down. Like, someone I know well ignored me when I said hi, so I thought she’s embarrassed by me. I hate her and will never talk to her again. Then think about it and write down: Maybe she was busy and didn’t hear or see me.
  • Don’t take boundaries personally. We all have boundaries, and we need those boundaries to take care of ourselves. Don’t get mad if someone can’t talk about your problems because he or she is going through their own problems. Be understanding of that and find someone else to talk to. If your friend can’t talk after ten at night, respect that and make sure you call before ten. Don’t take boundaries personally. They are there to help the person who you care about and it’s nothing against you.
  • Turn to a support partner. Talk out the situation or thing that happened with your support partner or support team. Having someone with a clear mind to talk to can help you think rationally about your feelings or the situation. They can help you calm down and tell you if you’re distorting things.

Use these tips to help you handle your emotions without overreacting and hurting relationships. It’s not easy to do when your mind is clouded by your sadness and hopelessness, but you can do it. By working through your emotions and thoughts before you overreact, you’ll find you’ll have stronger relationships and will avoid driving away people who really care about you.

I’m doing better at controlling my over-reactions when I go through a hard time, but sometimes I slip up. When I do slip up, I take the time to think it through and work it out with my friends and the people I care about. Following these tips helps me dance in the light of recovery.

GOD GIVES US TOOLS

Published on by Aimee Eddy4 Comments

God works miracles in people’s lives every day. People survive horrific accidents, they are miraculously healed of illnesses, they find a long lost love, or they find money when they are down on their luck. God is awesome, but he doesn’t always perform miracles. Sometimes he provides tools to help us get through illnesses and hard times.

I have heard from Christians throughout my struggles with mental illness say, “Give it to God and he will take your mental illness away.” It’s not that easy. God sometimes works miracles, but other times he provides us tools to help ourselves. It would be easy for him to click his fingers and our mental illness goes away, but what is he teaching us by making life easy? We learn when we help ourselves by using the tools God give us.

Just think of what a miracle it is for therapists and psychiatrists to have the knowledge and compassion to work with us to navigate our way through mental illness. Then God gives some people the knowledge to create medications that balance the chemicals in our brains to manage the symptoms of our illness. To other people God gave the ability to come up with coping techniques for us to handle hard times.

God worked a miracle in my life and gave me tools to help myself in my struggles with mental illness. In college I was at the bottom of my dark hole. I was suicidal and self-injuring, and I wasn’t sleeping. I took a year off from college to take care of myself. My mom went to a hospital in another state to find me help. They gave us information about a therapist who let me pay what I could afford since I had no insurance. The therapist set me up with a psychiatrist that used programs to help me get my medication for free. I saw the therapist each week and she taught me coping techniques. In time I started feeling the best I have ever felt. My therapist took me off my medication and told me in a few years my illness would return.

After I discontinued therapy and antidepressants, I started living the life I always wanted. I had lots of friends, I got together with a group of co-workers to go bowling until 2:00 AM, and I started dating. In a year I went back to college.

When I was getting ready to graduate, I went to my therapist’s office to give her an invitation to my graduation, but her office was empty. When I asked someone who had an office in the same building, he told me that my therapist’s office had been empty for a very long time, and there had never been a therapist in there. God gave me an angel to get better so I could live life and graduate from college. The therapist angel was right, though. A year or so after college I fell down that hole again.

celestial angel in the sky sits on cloud

I will admit I have had to search for the right therapist and psychiatrist to help me, but God did provide me with the ones I needed. After my abusive ex threw me out, my whole life seemed like a hopeless wreck. I started seeing a therapist who told me to watch a funny movie. I was unhappy with her, so I went to a program through my work that helped me find a new therapist. The new therapist knew I was a writer, so she had me journal out my feelings, and we worked on them in our sessions. She gave me homework, she taught me how to notice my unhealthy thinking techniques and change them, she taught me coping techniques, and she helped me learn to love myself.

When I met my husband, she did couple therapy with us to teach my husband how to handle my illness. She helped me stop injuring, find recovery, and start a new life. My therapist became like a friend to me. I miss talking to her. She is a tool God provided me to help me get better.

When I went to visit my husband’s uncle and aunt in Georgia, his uncle, a psychologist, noticed my hands shaking. He sat me down and asked me a series of questions; one of them was what medications I was taking. He told me my medication was causing the trembling. When I returned home, I told my psychiatrist. He took me off all my medication and I went into withdrawal. A friend told me about another psychiatrist who was good. I contacted him and he tried me on different medications, and when they didn’t work, he carefully weaned me off. I still see this psychiatrist every three months, and he has me on the right amount of medication to keep me in recovery. My husband’s uncle and the new psychiatrist are tools God gave me to help take care of my mental illness.

God has also provided me friends, family, and a husband to be a part of my support team. God didn’t cure me, but he gave me tools to help me reach recovery. I had to do a lot of work to get to recovery, and I had the right tools to help me get there. He continues to provide me tools to stay in recovery.

God does work miracles, but some of his miracles are in the form of tools to help us work through our mental illness. God gave therapists and psychiatrists the ability to obtain the knowledge to help us get through our illness. He also carries us in our struggle to reach recovery. By fighting this illness with God’s help, we learn to fight for ourselves, to take care of ourselves, and to ask for help. If God cured every illness, we would never learn lessons about life and ourselves.

Each day I use the tools God gave me to stay in recovery. I take my medication, I lean on my support team, and I use coping techniques to help me stand strong in the light of recovery.

SELF-CARE FOR MENTAL HEALTH

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

While struggling with mental illness, we may be so busy with jobs, college, children, and other responsibilities that taking care of ourselves gets pushed away. Or we could be struggling so much that we give up on ourselves. Wherever you are at with the mental illness you are fighting, you must take time out to care for yourself. Self-care is important in all aspects of mental illness, even in recovery.

In my journey through mental illness and as I work to stay in recovery, I came up with a few ways to practice self-care. Here are some important ways to take care of yourself.

  • Eat healthy meals. This is something I am working on. It’s important to watch how much sugary food you place into your body and to put together healthy meals. Add vegetables to your meals, snack on fruits, limit late night snacks, eat out less, and look into preparing wholesome meals.
  • Make time for meals. I always make sure I have three meals a day. If you’re busy, make a plan to take time out of your schedule to eat three meals daily. If you feel depressed and are avoiding eating, then force yourself to take time to eat. Put it on the calendar or set an alarm in your phone to remind you to take the time to eat. Food gives you the nutrients and strength you need to fight this illness. If you don’t eat regularly or avoid eating, you can cause physical health problems for yourself.
  • Take time for relaxation. You can spend money on a spa day, a massage, or a manicure. You can also relax without spending much money at all by taking a bubble bath, doing crafts, watching a funny movie, or listening to music. To relax I woodburn, soak in a bath, or write.
  • Take care of your mental and physical health. Listen to your body; if something doesn’t feel right or you feel sick, take care of yourself. Call off from work, go to the doctor when you need to, and allow yourself time for rest. When you notice you’re not handling your illness well or you’re getting worse, ask for help. Go to your therapist, take your medicine, turn to your support team, or build one, and do coping techniques. I go to the doctor when I need to, and if I don’t, my husband makes sure I do. My husband never lets me work when I’m sick, and when I struggle with my mental illness, I have coping techniques and a wonderful support team.
  • Get plenty of sleep. If you’re having trouble sleeping, talk to your psychiatrist for medications that can help you. Pick a set time at night to go to bed. Shut off your TV, social media, and phone. If you struggle with anxiety or racing thoughts, find a relaxation technique to try like deep breathing, listening to relaxing music, or muscle relaxation. I like to imagine myself lying on a beach with water coming up around me and I do deep breathing.
  • Take care of your basic needs. If you’re really struggling, you might not get out of bed, take a shower, comb your hair, or take care of your hygiene. Make a plan to get out of bed and sit in the living room, or get up and take a shower, or comb your hair, and brush your teeth. Taking care of these needs is important in self-care. When I was at my worst, I neglected to shower regularly, and I felt filthy. When I took a shower I felt refreshed.
  • Take time to socialize. Spend some time with people you care about. If your anxiety keeps you from going to places or events that involve a lot of people, then ask a friend to hang out with just you. Sitting alone at home leaves the mind to wander and makes you feel lonely. Go out and have some fun. You deserve to have a good time. When I’m home alone my mind wanders and I feel more depressed. My husband and I like to go out to dinner, to events, and the movies. Sometimes I go to dinner with friends at another friend’s house.
  • Take some time to be alone. If you live with other people and you get overwhelmed with things going on with them take some time to be alone. Take a walk, go to your room, sit out on the porch, or find a place you can go to be by yourself. Sometimes you just need a break from the people in your life, and that is okay. Take time to be alone and de-stress. My alone time is at night when my husband goes to bed. It’s when I write, when I journal, and when I snuggle with my dog. It gives me time to focus just on myself and my own needs.

These are only a few things you can do to take care of yourself. You are important and you owe it to your physical and mental health to practice self-care. Your mental health is connected to your physical health. If you don’t take care of both, you will not only struggle with mental illness, but also physical illness.  Taking care of the body and mind will help make you stronger to reach or stay in recovery.

I make self-care an important part of my life, and because I do I dance in the light of recovery.

THE LITTLE THINGS

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

God looks down on us and sees we are struggling or need guidance. He provides for us through little things and thoughts in our minds. It’s easy to miss these little things while we are struggling. When mental illness clouds our minds, it is simple to blame God and to hate him for what we are going through. We may lose our faith and miss the little things God’s doing to take care of us.

When I was at my worst, I stopped going to church and I lost my faith in God. In spite of this, he gave me a wonderful mom who went to great extents to find me help. He gave me a therapist who helped me reach recovery long enough to live a life I didn’t get to as a teen and to graduate from college. When I moved in with an abusive boyfriend and hit rock bottom of my illness, God gave me a friend to support me and save my life.

When I had turned away from God, he gave me a special friend to invite me to her church and a Bible study she led. In time she sat with me in a sanctuary, and we prayed together asking God to come into my life. I had traveled miles away from home to a writing conference to meet her and find out she lived in my area. God works in mysterious ways.

When I was living with my ex-boyfriend, he took in a stray dog named Daisy. I didn’t want anything to do with Daisy, but she was determined to win me over. She nudged my hand until I pet her. When I went to bed at night, she slept right beside me and when I felt like giving up, she cuddled with me. God gave her to me to get through the abuse and the illness that I struggled with. From that time on, every dog I have ever gotten I’ve heard a voice inside my mind say, “That dog is the one for you.” Each one of my dogs provided comfort to me through different stages of my illness. I know that God is the one who led me to each of the fur babies I had throughout the years.

When I had given up on men and dating, God gave me a friend to set me up on a date and other friends to encourage me to go on that date. That guy turned out to be the love of my life. He is my husband and my everything. He encourages me, he supports me, he takes care of me, and he gets me through the hard times. I have never had a man treat me as good as he does, and he knows how to handle my bad days. He is the reason I’m in recovery. He is truly from God.

When I was working on publishing my book, God gave me two fellow authors who are also editors to edit my manuscript for free. He gave me another author to create my cover. Step by step God led me through writing my book and publishing it. He gave me a wonderful husband to comfort me when I cried after reliving the emotions of the past and to encourage me when I felt like giving up. God wanted me to tell my story. God has given me the strength to speak at many events to spread the awareness about bullying and how it can bring on mental illness.

When I was going through breast cancer and grieving after a bilateral mastectomy, I met Alexander Kovarovic through a Facebook support group, and he asked me to be part of his nonprofit. Five years later I am his assistant overseeing Advocacy and Education for his nonprofit One Life Project. God put him in my life so I can help young people with mental illness and hopefully prevent youth and young adults from suffering like I did.

Saturday, I got out of work at 2:30 PM. My husband and I went for a ride and stopped at a secondhand store. I walked past this rack of puppets and then I turned around, walked back over to them and I looked them over. Then I walked away. A voice inside me, God’s voice ,told me to buy one. I looked at my husband and said, “I think I should get one of those puppets.” He encouraged me to buy one, so I did. Then a name came to me, “Lucy.” My puppet’s name is Lucy. I know God was talking to me.

I will practice making her talk without moving my lips. I plan to use Lucy to talk to young children about bullying. I handed out my information to Girl Scout and Brownie leaders selling cookies at my store. Hopefully one will call or email me so Lucy and I can tell our story. We have a lot to tell young kids about how bad and hurtful bullying is. I know God will provide me the opportunity to do this.

Look for the small God things in your life. He is helping you through rough times without you even knowing it. Open your eyes to the tools and people he is providing you to get through your mental illness. You might think he is punishing you, but he’s not. He’s carrying you and taking care of you. Think about the things and people in your life that are helping you through this struggle. They are not there by coincidence. God is providing them for you.

God gave me special people and tools to guide me to and to keep me in recovery. God is walking beside me in the light of recovery.