Tag: mental-health

REASONS WHY MY LIFE IS IMPORTANT

Published on by Aimee Eddy5 Comments

I started watching a Netflix series called 13 Reasons Why; it is about a young girl who was bullied at school and sexually harassed at school until she committed suicide. The series speaks to me because in some ways I was in the shoes of the girl the show is about. It goes through many reasons why she took her life, and it hits home with me. I wanted to die when I was being bullied. I daydreamed about something horrible happening to me, resulting in my death.

Life is hard and especially harder for others. Sometimes a series of things or just one thing happens to a person to make life seem impossible to live. Some may ask how anyone could even think about taking their life, and no one can truly know what is happening inside a person. You don’t know what can drive a person to suicide unless you have been at that breaking point, but that doesn’t make it right. It’s hard when you’re at that point to see any other way out of your inner anguish, but there is a way. There are many reasons to live and push forward.

I had many reasons why I wanted to die when I was in school: my classmates picked on me, some of my teachers put me down, my friends either moved away or turned their backs on me, I felt alone, I felt worthless, and I thought I was the ugly one in my family. In spite of that, there are reasons my life is important which I’m going to list:

  • My parents loved me for who I was no matter what. My parents loved everything about me. They didn’t care if I was a tomboy or that my room was messy. They saw me for the person I was, and they loved me for that. If I took my life they would have been devastated.
  • I had dreams to fulfill. I dreamed of becoming a published author. I wrote many short stories and entered them into contests. I didn’t know that I would publish my own memoir that would help many, but I would have never found that out if I had ended my life.
  • I was smart and had a lot to accomplish. Despite my learning disability, I was an intelligent person. I just had to work harder to succeed at school. Once I found out that I was intelligent, I made the merit roll, honor roll, published stories, and made the National Honor Society. I would never have accomplished all that if I had taken my life.
  • I made a difference in people’s lives. Even though I felt alone, I was making a difference in people’s lives. I was friends with a girl whose home life was bad and I gave her someone to lean on. I became best friends with a girl who also was being bullied and we became inseparable. I even became close to her sisters and mother. My parents and grandparents’ lives were beautiful with me in it. If I died, they would all have been hurt and very sad.
  • I had a bright future ahead of me. At that time to me my future seemed dim, but it was bright. I proved I could accomplish a lot despite a learning disability, and my future was waiting for me. I had plans for college and dreams to become a published author. I had several acceptance letters to colleges. Now I am a published author, I have a college degree, I’ve worked the same job for twenty-nine years, I work for a nonprofit helping others with mental illness, and I would have never accomplished all this if I weren’t alive.
  • My life story could help people. In high school I wrote fictional stories based on the bullying I faced. I was determined to prove myself and that helped me accomplish a lot. I was an example that anyone could succeed. As an adult I have overcome bullying, a learning disability, mental illness, and relationship abuse and many see me as an inspiration. I tell my story in this blog and in my memoir and it helps people. If I had died, I would have never been able to tell my story to the world.

If you are feeling suicidal, write out a list of why your life is important, and dig deep inside you to find those reasons. Ask people in your life why you are important to them. You’ll find that your life is worth living. There are a lot of reasons to be on this earth living your life and fighting for happiness. Instead of coming up with 13 reasons why you should end your life, come up with 13 reasons why you should live your life.

Because I never succeeded at taking my life I live a beautiful life with a wonderful husband, lots of memories, a good job, and lots of happiness. I stand tall in the light of recovery glad to be alive.

THE JOURNEY TO RECOVERY

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

After spending six days on a ventilator and spending what seemed like forever in ICU, my dad continues his  long journey to recovery. After ICU he spent a couple days in a regular room before transferring to rehab. While in a regular room, a man from rehab came to talk to my dad about the next steps. My dad told the man he would do whatever it takes to get better. Dad is a determined man.

They moved him to a different part of the hospital for rehab. We had to follow a purple line to an elevator and take it to the second floor. We had to walk through a maze of hallways to find his room. At first my husband and I got confused and had to ask for help. When we finally reached Dad, instead of lying in a bed in a hospital gown, he sat in a chair wearing a shirt and shorts. His legs, ankles, and feet were swollen from fluid buildup. The beautiful part was there was no more IVs stuck in his arms, machines going off, and a tube going out of his mouth. He looked run down and weak, yet more like himself.

The sadness, the crying spells, and emotional exhaustion I felt while he was in the ICU were gone. In their place were hope and gratefulness. God gave my dad a second chance, he gave my family more time with him, and my heart was overflowing with thankfulness. Just hearing his voice was and is magical.

Each time I visited, my dad looked stronger and more determined. We sat in his room almost every day and talked about what he did in therapy. Physical therapy happened two times a day. When he arrived in rehab, he was too weak to walk, to dress himself, or get up without help. In therapy they had him do exercises to build up his muscles and slowly eased him into walking with a walker. After his sessions, he fought to keep his eyes open. We would sit in the lounge so he could take naps.

Each time we came to visit, his pale cheeks got more color in them, he became less tired, and more talkative. One day my husband came when Dad was being taken down for therapy. We were allowed to sit in chairs off to the side and watch the therapist direct him to do exercises. He had my dad walk around the room with a walker, go up and down stairs, and do stretches. Then he went to an occupational therapist who worked with him on practicing to get on a bed raised the same height as my parent’s bed at home. Dad also practiced getting into a car and other things he would need to do at home.

The therapist said, “You’re doing great. You’re doing everything with little help from me.”

I realized I got my determination to overcome obstacles from my dad. Seeing him each day grow stronger and push harder towards recovery reminded me of all the obstacles I pushed through. I never let anything stop me from reaching my goals. I pushed to rise above bullying, I fought mental illness to reach recovery, I stood up to beat breast cancer, and I recovered from several surgeries. I got all that fire to fight from my dad. Like I have fought in the past I watched my father fight to get strong enough to go home.

Each night I posted updates on Facebook asking for prayers. I even shared my dad’s journey with my customers and many of them said they were putting him on their churches pray chain or they would pray for him. At night my friend Amy called for updates on my dad and to share with me she had people praying for him. Each time I visited my dad, I saw the prayers being answered.

I texted my friend Cheryl about Dad and the progress he was making. She texted me, “If this had happened to your dad several years ago, you would have fallen to pieces, but you have handled your dad getting sick very well. I’m so proud of you.”

She’s right. If my dad had been put on a ventilator before I reached recovery, I would have injured, felt suicidal and maybe even needed to be admitted to a mental health hospital, but now I used coping techniques and my support system to make it through without becoming an emotional wreck.

As you’re reading this, my dad will be leaving rehab and returning home to be with my mom. He must use a walker or a cane, but I have faith that in time he will be back to going for long walks, working on airplanes, flying his own private plane, and working in the vineyard he and my mom own. In the meantime, I will visit them often and help them as much as I can. My parents took care of me my whole life and believed in me when no one else did, and now it’s my turn to be there for them.

Have faith in yourself while you’re in recovery. When times get tough, use coping techniques and your support system to make it through. Take each day as it comes and be proud of each accomplishment you make. Let your determination keep you in the light of recovery.

My dad still has a long journey ahead of him, and I know I’m strong enough to be at his side supporting him. I inherited my dad’s determination and that is what keeps me bathing in the light of recovery.

YOU CAN DO IT

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

When you are struggling with depression, you lose interest in everyday things and you have feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. It becomes too easy to neglect your health and daily routines and tasks. You get stuck in a rut you can’t get out of. Even getting out of bed becomes very difficult. You feel as if you can’t move past this horrible sadness that has taken over your life.

I grew up with parents and grandparents who didn’t believe in the words, “I can’t.” Whenever my siblings or I said I can’t do something, my mom would look us in the eyes and tell us “There’s no such thing as can’t. You can do anything you put your mind to.” Her words were my inspiration and became my motto. If someone told me, I couldn’t do something I found a way to prove that person wrong. Throughout elementary they told me I couldn’t read, so I worked hard to learn how to read; they told me I couldn’t longer pass classes on my own, and in high school I passed my classes with “As” and “Bs.” My teachers said I would be on welfare when I grew up, but I graduated from college, I have worked the same job for twenty-eight years and I have written a book.

When I realized I had major depression in college, I felt like my life was doomed. I couldn’t sleep at night, I got sick every morning, I became suicidal, and I self-injured. It took all my strength to get out of bed each morning and go to my classes, yet I continued to get high grades. My life seemed like an endless cycle of hopelessness and inner agony, but I refused to fail at college. It was hard to pass my classes when I was so sick, but I could still hear those teachers from school saying, “You can’t succeed.” This drove me to study long hours to pass my classes.

For many who are struggling with depression, the simplest routine tasks like taking a shower, combing hair, eating, or getting out of bed seem impossible. It’s easy to give up and say, “I can’t do it.” The thing is if you dig deep down inside yourself, you’ll realize you can do it. You can get out of bed, you can take a shower, you can eat, and you can stand up to depression. Remember there is no such thing as, “I can’t.”

Are you lying in bed feeling too tired and depressed to get up? Then say to yourself, “I can get up,” several times. Dig deep down inside you until you get the determination to slip out of bed. Take small steps. Be proud of yourself for each step you take and shout out, “I did it!” Your illness doesn’t have to run your life. You can fight it, you can work towards getting better, and you can reach recovery.

Reaching recovery was the hardest battle I have ever fought. So many times I felt like I just couldn’t go on and I didn’t want to go on. I felt like I was doomed to a life of misery. My mom’s words, “There’s no such thing as can’t. You can do anything you put your mind to,” kept me pushing forward.

When I got home from work and the man I was living with told me he was kicking me out, I ended up in a mental health hospital. He told me he couldn’t help me because I could never get better. His words inspired me to fight harder. In a week I got out of the hospital and started on the path to recovery. I moved back home, I started going to group therapy, and I found a new therapist. Through several years I took steps towards recovery.

You might feel like reaching recovery is impossible and there is no way you can reach it, but you can. Take the first steps now. Start slowly and build your way up. Recovery doesn’t come easily so plan on fighting hard. Remember there is no such thing as can’t. “You can do anything you put your mind to.” Fight for happiness, fight for a new beginning, and fight for yourself. I believe in you. “You can do it.”

I believed I could get better, and I fought hard for it and I reached it. I stand in the light of recovery shouting, “I did it!”