Tag: mental-health

WHAT RECOVERY MEANS

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Many times when we think about recovery from an illness, we think of being healed or back to normal health and strength. Those who are recovered from the flu are healthy again. When it comes to mental illness, recovery has a different yet similar meaning. Most mental illnesses have no cure.

When we’re in recovery we are in a new normal. Our minds are clearer, we’re able to live a functional life, and we are stronger. Despite being in recovery, we still have mental illness, and we must take steps each day to manage it. We still have bad days, but we have coping skills to get through them.

What recovery means to me:

  • I fought a long hard battle and climbed out of the dark hole of depression and anxiety. I struggled with my illness for many years. I used everything in me to fight it and gain control.
  • I have learned coping skills to deal with hard times. I use different coping techniques like journaling, doing hobbies, relaxation, and self-care to deal with hard days.
  • I found happiness. I have taken control of my illness, and I am able to enjoy life and the people around me. I no longer live in sadness. I have fun, I laugh and I enjoy life.
  • I’m stable. I can make important decisions, I no longer cry easily, I can function, and I don’t fall apart like I once did. I can handle things I couldn’t when I was very sick.
  • When I have bad days, I can pull myself up again. Bad days don’t leave me stuck at the bottom of my hole. I work my way through the hard days and climb back up to the top of the hole. I no longer dwell in the darkness, and I don’t let it hold me down.
  • I must manage my illness every day. I take my medication and set up boundaries. I have a support system to turn to, and I know my limitations. I take care of my physical and mental health to stay in recovery. I know that even though I’m doing well I still could easily slip backwards if I don’t manage my illness.
  • I found a new meaning to my life. Life no longer seems hopeless. My life has meaning now. I am important and I make a difference in others’ lives. Life is beautiful and mysterious. It’s a journey that I’m excited to be on.
  • I’m not cured, but my illness no longer controls me. I know my illness will always be there and at times will try to push me down, but it no longer has control over me. I know the signs of when I’m really struggling and when to ask for help. I know how to deal with my illness when it tries to take over.
  • I’m a stronger person. I am a stronger person because I fought this horrible illness. If I can fight mental illness and rise above it, I have the strength to fight any challenge life puts in my path.

What does recovery from mental illness mean to you? Fight your illness and find out what it means to be in recovery. Mental illness is treatable, and most people can find relief from their illness if they are willing to do the work and willing to fight. You don’t have to live your life at the bottom of the dark hole. You can find happiness, function in society, and live in the light. Find your determination and fight the battle to recovery.

It took me a long time to find recovery, but I’m glad I found it. I live a beautiful life in the light of recovery.

CAUSES OF STRESS

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

We all deal with stress in our lives. It’s all around us. When we struggle with mental illness, stress seems like a huge cloud hanging over us, threatening to throw us deeper into our hole. To handle that stress, we must first identify the things in our lives that cause stress. Knowing what causes you stress will help you find ways to avoid them and ways to cope with them.

I talked to my therapist about the things in my life that are causing me stress, and then we talked about how to cope with them.

Below is a list of things that cause stress.

  • Finances. With the cost-of-living, money is a big stressor in many people’s lives. Coming up with a budget and keeping to that budget is helpful. Look for ways to save money. Focus on the bills you can pay and work out payment plans for ones you can’t pay. Don’t dwell on not having enough money. Only focus on what you do have.
  • Relationships. Bad and unstable relationships cause a lot of stress. Take steps to end unhealthy relationships or go to therapy to work on them. Look for healthy and positive relationships.
  • Health problems. Having a lot of health problems is hard to handle and stressful. Focus on what you can do for your health, and don’t worry about what you can’t do or the future. Like if you have diabetes, focus on the medication and changing your food habits, but don’t worry about the health problems diabetes can cause.
  • Work. Working can be stressful. Know your limits. If working is too stressful for you then find other alternatives like filing for disability. If working full-time causes a lot of stress, then find a part-time job. I work part-time because working forty-hour weeks is too stressful for me. If you get stressed out at work, practice relaxation techniques or take a break if possible.
  • Death. Losing a loved one, whether it’s a family member or a friend is very stressful and can cause depression. Allow yourself to grieve, use coping techniques to deal with depression, and take care of yourself. If you have a lot of decisions to make, take your time and if possible, delegate decisions to other family members or friends.
  • Care giving. Taking care of a loved one who is sick is very stressful. Make sure you take care of yourself. Get someone to stay with your loved one while you take some time for yourself. Get help from friends, family, and in home-care agencies.
  • Change. Moving, starting a new job, and other forms of change can be stressful. Find ways to cope with change and allow yourself time to get used to it.
  • Traumatic events. Natural disasters, rape, abuse, and so on are very stressful. Look for a therapist to help you cope with the trauma. Give yourself time to heal. Journal about what you went through. Use art to get your feelings out.

These are only a few things that cause stress. Stress can make fighting mental illness harder. If we identify what causes us stress and find ways to cope with them or avoid them, it will help us reach recovery or stay in recovery. With mental illness you need to know your limits and use boundaries to protect your mental health. On a piece of paper list the things in your life that currently cause you stress. Then come up with a plan on how to cope with them or, if you can, avoid them.

Right now, I’m dealing with a lot of stress in my life: a sick loved one, a dog recovering from surgery, finances, and a badly bruised thumb. My therapist told me to practice self-care and to focus on the things I can change and let go of the things I can’t change. By doing this I stand in the light of recovery.

DEALING WITH STRESSORS

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Stressors are things in our lives that cause physical, chemical, or emotional strain triggering a stress response. Stressors are all around us. They are in our environment, they are events, and they are also internal. When stressors happen to you, how do you cope with them? Do you let them tear you down or find ways to ease them?

I have a lot of stressors in my life right now. I was sick over a week ago with a viral infection and haven’t completely recovered. On top of that my dog, Esther, had surgery on her leg and requires a lot of care. The cost of her surgery and visits to the vet are adding up. I’m also trying to take care of my loved one with dementia and get him in-home care. I’m doing all this plus I work as a cashier.

Esther had a lump on her leg. It started out small, I thought it was because of her arthritis. The lump got bigger and that worried me. I had the vet look at it when I took Esther for her blood work. They said it was concerning so I set up an appointment to have it looked at further. When they aspirated it, they said the cells were abnormal and they needed to remove the lump and biopsy it.

Esther had her surgery last Tuesday. The vet had us coming in every couple of days to change her bandages, and that was not cheap. So, I asked them for the supplies to do it myself. The vet said no running, jumping, or rough housing for Esther. Trying to keep a dog from jumping is nearly impossible. I try to lift her on and from furniture as much as possible. I carry her outside down our porch stairs so she can go to the bathroom. I also carry her upstairs to her bed in our room at night. Taking care of Esther is stressful. I have dealt with some anxiety because of it.

On top of Esther’s care is the cost of the surgery and appointments with the vet. It’s adding up on my credit card. Finances are another stressor for me. I worry a lot about paying bills and having money to live on. Thanks to some extra money we got last year, I paid off our credit cards and now they’re adding up again.

On Thursday we had an appointment to get my loved one in-home care. We went over paperwork which included our income, how much we have in our checking and savings account, what we own such as properties and vehicles and our bills. This triggered more stress. My loved one needs help, I need the help, but I fear we won’t qualify because of income.

While dealing with all of this, I am not a hundred percent better after having a viral infection. My nose keeps running, I have drainage down my throat, and a cough because of the drainage. Plus, I have some fatigue. Not feeling good is a stressor. It’s hard to deal with everything and work when I don’t completely feel like myself.

Due to all the stressors in my life, I have been having anxiety attacks. To deal with the stressors in my life, I have been using coping techniques. Journaling helps me get out my feelings and release my stress. Texting with my support team and talking to my therapist helps me get the support I need. My friend Cheryl often gives similar advice as my therapist does, and I call her my first therapist. I also practice relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, guided imagery, and grounding. I do woodburning, a hobby of mine. I also make sure I am getting plenty of rest.

Sometimes we can’t avoid the stressors in our lives, but we can cope with them. Using coping techniques will help you better handle stressors. If the coping techniques I mentioned don’t work for you, talk to a therapist to find ones that will. Stressors make mental illness harder to handle, but if you cope with them you can work towards recovery.

Using coping techniques to handle my stressors helps me bathe in the light of recovery.

VALIDATING FEELINGS

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

A person with mental illness struggles with a lot of feelings. To others not struggling, those emotions seem minor or confusing. They might not understand why a person is feeling depressed without a reason or when the person’s life seems to be good. It sometimes becomes too easy for others to brush off or minimize the feelings of the one who is struggling. Even though you don’t see a reason for a person’s feelings, to the one who is sick those emotions are real and powerful. How you handle the person’s feelings is crucial.

When you brush off a person’s emotions, you make him or her feel like he or she is not important. When a person who is sick is made to feel like what he or she is going through is not significant, it can deepen depression, lead to suicide, or cause the person to turn to unhealthy coping techniques. It’s very important that you validate the person’s feelings.

What you say to a person who is struggling is meaningful. Don’t say, “What do you have to be depressed about?” or “Oh well, it will get better.” By saying this, you are dismissing how the person feels. Even though you don’t understand why a person is depressed, those emotions are very real.

Here is a list of ways to validate a person’s feelings:

  • Listen actively. Nod your head and maintain eye contact. Don’t interrupt the person as she or he talks. By showing you are listening, you are making the person feel like he or she is being heard. The person will be more willing to confide in you.
  • Show sympathy. Tell the person, “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Is there anything I can do to help you?” Showing sympathy helps him or her feel like you care, and you are willing to help. Too often a person who is sick feels like nobody in the world cares about him or her.
  • Acknowledge the feelings. Tell the person you accept his or her feelings even if you don’t understand or if you have another perspective. By doing this, you are telling the person that you know his or her feelings are real to them and important.
  • Identify the problem. Ask the person about what is going on in his or her life that could cause these feelings. This can help you understand better. Helping the person identify the reason for his or her feelings; this can open a door for him or her to understand what is going on inside.
  • Don’t be judgmental. Don’t give advice or offer solutions unless you understand what the person is going through. Don’t form your own opinions about why the person is feeling the way she or he feels. Judging can make the person feel angry and more depressed.
  • Use validating statements. Use statements like “This must be hard for you,” “I understand how you would feel this way,” “I’m truly sorry you had to deal with…” and “I too would feel that way if I were in your situation.” These and other validating statements can be found at 25 Examples of Validating Statements to Show Empathy – Happier Human
  • Don’t minimize. Don’t make the person’s feelings seem small and unimportant. To the person, what he or she is going through is a big thing. If you make him or her sound small, you will cause more pain and make him or her feel dismissed.

.

By validating a person who is struggling with feelings, you are showing him or her you care, he or she can confide in you, the person is not alone, and he or she is important. If you have a friend or loved one struggling with mental illness, use this list to help the person feel seen, cared for, and heard. By doing this you can help your friends and loved ones through their rough times without sending them deeper into their illness.

I have a friend and husband who is very good at validating my feelings, and they get me through many rough times. This helps me stand in the light of recovery.

*Information for this blog post can be found at how to validate someone with mental illness feelings – Search

SUICIDE AND SELF-INJURY

Published on by Aimee Eddy3 Comments

Many people don’t understand self-injury or even know anything about it. Many who hurt themselves do so in private and then they hide their injuries from others. It’s hard to understand why people would harm themselves on purpose. It is a misunderstood coping technique. Many people mistake self-injury for a suicide attempt, but it is not. However, suicide is still a risk factor.

Even though those who harm themselves do not injure to take their lives, that doesn’t mean they are not at risk. People who injure are sick and in pain. They have a mental illness, and with mental illness comes the risk of suicide. It’s important to take self-injury seriously. Don’t think it’s a way to get attention, don’t ignore the person, and make a joke about it. Look at it as if the person is suffering and needs help.

When I was self-injuring, I didn’t hurt myself to take my life. The physical pain released my inner pain. I felt so many overwhelming emotions that tore me apart inside. I was in agony. The only thing that eased that pain was hurting myself. Even though hurting myself wasn’t an attempt at suicide, I was suicidal. I suffered with depression, borderline personality disorder, and anxiety. My thoughts raced, I felt hopeless, I thought I was worthless, and I thought I was hurting my family by living.

When I was in college, I wrote a suicide note and planned my death. I thought of ways to take my life. One time I took a bottle of pills and got sick. I lived with my grandparents while I was in college, and my grandma thought I had the flu. I wanted to die because I was very sick. My mind was plagued with an awful illness that distorted my thinking.

No one injures themselves just for attention or for fun. They harm themselves because they have an illness that causes them a lot of emotional pain and suffering. It’s not a game or a joke. Every person who hurts themselves on purpose is suffering from some type of sickness and needs help. If they are hurting themselves, they are also at risk of being or becoming suicidal. So don’t walk away or laugh at them. Take it seriously.

The person might not be thinking about suicide when they are injuring. Self-harming releases endorphins that make the person feel better. The person could just be coping with his or her pain, but he or she is also struggling with a mental illness and can become suicidal at some point. By not ignoring self-injury you maybe saving a person from committing suicide in the future.

If a person shows you his or her injuries or you happen to see them, ask him or her if they would like to talk about it. Be willing to listen without judging. Encourage the person to get help. Tell someone who can help him or her. Don’t minimize the person’s feelings or pain. Look for the phone number for crisis or a helpline.

It took a while before I admitted to my mom I was self-injuring and that I was sick. When I told her, she went to great lengths to get me help. Because of my mom’s determination to get me help, I have not hurt myself in twenty-three years and I am alive. I stand in the light of recovery because I got help.

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU’RE TRIGGERED TO SELF-INJURE

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Last week I shared healthy coping techniques to use instead of self-injuring, but there are still things that will trigger you. Everyone has triggers that cause them extra stress or anxiety. Self-injurers have things that trigger their need to hurt themselves. In order to completely quit self-harming you have to know your triggers and how to cope with them. It’s a process to stop hurting yourself and it’s not an easy one. Take each day step by step.

When I was self-injuring, a lot of things triggered me to injure like stresses of life, a bad relationship, feelings of worthlessness, feeling alone when with others, and angry outbursts. When I started to replace my self-injuring with healthy coping techniques, I found myself struggling with my triggers. To control those triggers, I had to learn new techniques. It wasn’t easy. A few times I slid backwards, but in time the need to harm myself went away.

Here are some coping techniques to cope with your triggers:

  • Reach out to someone you trust or someone on your support team. In last week’s post I mentioned starting a support team. This team should be a group of people you trust and know will be supportive. If you don’t have a team, talk to someone you feel comfortable with and trust. This is not a fight you can do alone.
  • Go somewhere different. Self-injurers are known to hurt themselves in the same room or area. Leave that place. Go where there are other people like to a restaurant or to the movies. Go for a walk in the park or ride a bike to your favorite spot in nature. Find something fun to do like going hiking, going out with friends, going to a fair, or anything else you consider fun.
  • Practice breathing exercises or relaxation techniques. Breathe in slowly and slowly exhale several times. Do relaxation techniques like listening to soft music or nature sounds, visualization or guided imagery, or muscle relaxation. Some people do yoga and meditation. This helps relax the body and refocus the mind.
  • Express your feelings. Express your feelings the best way you know how to like with journaling, art, dance, crafts, or some other kind of art. Find whatever way you can to release your feelings and emotions. Keeping them inside only makes the triggers stronger.
  • Punch a punching bag or pillow. Use a punching bag or pillow to let out your pent-up feelings. Punch until everything inside you is released. Keep from punching anything that will lead to more harm. Keep it safe. It defeats the purpose if you hurt yourself while letting out your feelings.
  • Use something cold. Hold an ice cube until the sting replaces the need to self-harm. Put an ice pack on your chest to get your adrenaline pumping. These will take the place of hurting yourself without causing you injury.
  • Join a support group. A support group gives you other individuals who are struggling with the same problems. Together you’re on the same journey, and through the group you will learn more about self-injury and other coping techniques. Your support group can also become like a support system. You support each other.
  • Seek professional help. When nothing else works, turn to a professional for help. Get a therapist and psychiatrist. A psychiatrist can try different medications to treat your mental illness to minimize the symptoms that make you want to hurt yourself. A therapist can help you work through your mental illness and self-injury. You must be willing to do the work.

Try these techniques when you feel triggered to injure. Putting an end to self-injury is not an easy task. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication. You may slip up a few times, but don’t give up. Keep fighting the urge and in time it becomes easier. Once you learn to cope using healthy techniques, you will no longer have the need to hurt yourself.

Once in a great while I think of injuring, but instead I use my coping techniques. With my healthy coping techniques, I stand in the light harm free and happy.

REASONS WHY MY LIFE IS IMPORTANT

Published on by Aimee Eddy5 Comments

I started watching a Netflix series called 13 Reasons Why; it is about a young girl who was bullied at school and sexually harassed at school until she committed suicide. The series speaks to me because in some ways I was in the shoes of the girl the show is about. It goes through many reasons why she took her life, and it hits home with me. I wanted to die when I was being bullied. I daydreamed about something horrible happening to me, resulting in my death.

Life is hard and especially harder for others. Sometimes a series of things or just one thing happens to a person to make life seem impossible to live. Some may ask how anyone could even think about taking their life, and no one can truly know what is happening inside a person. You don’t know what can drive a person to suicide unless you have been at that breaking point, but that doesn’t make it right. It’s hard when you’re at that point to see any other way out of your inner anguish, but there is a way. There are many reasons to live and push forward.

I had many reasons why I wanted to die when I was in school: my classmates picked on me, some of my teachers put me down, my friends either moved away or turned their backs on me, I felt alone, I felt worthless, and I thought I was the ugly one in my family. In spite of that, there are reasons my life is important which I’m going to list:

  • My parents loved me for who I was no matter what. My parents loved everything about me. They didn’t care if I was a tomboy or that my room was messy. They saw me for the person I was, and they loved me for that. If I took my life they would have been devastated.
  • I had dreams to fulfill. I dreamed of becoming a published author. I wrote many short stories and entered them into contests. I didn’t know that I would publish my own memoir that would help many, but I would have never found that out if I had ended my life.
  • I was smart and had a lot to accomplish. Despite my learning disability, I was an intelligent person. I just had to work harder to succeed at school. Once I found out that I was intelligent, I made the merit roll, honor roll, published stories, and made the National Honor Society. I would never have accomplished all that if I had taken my life.
  • I made a difference in people’s lives. Even though I felt alone, I was making a difference in people’s lives. I was friends with a girl whose home life was bad and I gave her someone to lean on. I became best friends with a girl who also was being bullied and we became inseparable. I even became close to her sisters and mother. My parents and grandparents’ lives were beautiful with me in it. If I died, they would all have been hurt and very sad.
  • I had a bright future ahead of me. At that time to me my future seemed dim, but it was bright. I proved I could accomplish a lot despite a learning disability, and my future was waiting for me. I had plans for college and dreams to become a published author. I had several acceptance letters to colleges. Now I am a published author, I have a college degree, I’ve worked the same job for twenty-nine years, I work for a nonprofit helping others with mental illness, and I would have never accomplished all this if I weren’t alive.
  • My life story could help people. In high school I wrote fictional stories based on the bullying I faced. I was determined to prove myself and that helped me accomplish a lot. I was an example that anyone could succeed. As an adult I have overcome bullying, a learning disability, mental illness, and relationship abuse and many see me as an inspiration. I tell my story in this blog and in my memoir and it helps people. If I had died, I would have never been able to tell my story to the world.

If you are feeling suicidal, write out a list of why your life is important, and dig deep inside you to find those reasons. Ask people in your life why you are important to them. You’ll find that your life is worth living. There are a lot of reasons to be on this earth living your life and fighting for happiness. Instead of coming up with 13 reasons why you should end your life, come up with 13 reasons why you should live your life.

Because I never succeeded at taking my life I live a beautiful life with a wonderful husband, lots of memories, a good job, and lots of happiness. I stand tall in the light of recovery glad to be alive.

THE JOURNEY TO RECOVERY

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

After spending six days on a ventilator and spending what seemed like forever in ICU, my dad continues his  long journey to recovery. After ICU he spent a couple days in a regular room before transferring to rehab. While in a regular room, a man from rehab came to talk to my dad about the next steps. My dad told the man he would do whatever it takes to get better. Dad is a determined man.

They moved him to a different part of the hospital for rehab. We had to follow a purple line to an elevator and take it to the second floor. We had to walk through a maze of hallways to find his room. At first my husband and I got confused and had to ask for help. When we finally reached Dad, instead of lying in a bed in a hospital gown, he sat in a chair wearing a shirt and shorts. His legs, ankles, and feet were swollen from fluid buildup. The beautiful part was there was no more IVs stuck in his arms, machines going off, and a tube going out of his mouth. He looked run down and weak, yet more like himself.

The sadness, the crying spells, and emotional exhaustion I felt while he was in the ICU were gone. In their place were hope and gratefulness. God gave my dad a second chance, he gave my family more time with him, and my heart was overflowing with thankfulness. Just hearing his voice was and is magical.

Each time I visited, my dad looked stronger and more determined. We sat in his room almost every day and talked about what he did in therapy. Physical therapy happened two times a day. When he arrived in rehab, he was too weak to walk, to dress himself, or get up without help. In therapy they had him do exercises to build up his muscles and slowly eased him into walking with a walker. After his sessions, he fought to keep his eyes open. We would sit in the lounge so he could take naps.

Each time we came to visit, his pale cheeks got more color in them, he became less tired, and more talkative. One day my husband came when Dad was being taken down for therapy. We were allowed to sit in chairs off to the side and watch the therapist direct him to do exercises. He had my dad walk around the room with a walker, go up and down stairs, and do stretches. Then he went to an occupational therapist who worked with him on practicing to get on a bed raised the same height as my parent’s bed at home. Dad also practiced getting into a car and other things he would need to do at home.

The therapist said, “You’re doing great. You’re doing everything with little help from me.”

I realized I got my determination to overcome obstacles from my dad. Seeing him each day grow stronger and push harder towards recovery reminded me of all the obstacles I pushed through. I never let anything stop me from reaching my goals. I pushed to rise above bullying, I fought mental illness to reach recovery, I stood up to beat breast cancer, and I recovered from several surgeries. I got all that fire to fight from my dad. Like I have fought in the past I watched my father fight to get strong enough to go home.

Each night I posted updates on Facebook asking for prayers. I even shared my dad’s journey with my customers and many of them said they were putting him on their churches pray chain or they would pray for him. At night my friend Amy called for updates on my dad and to share with me she had people praying for him. Each time I visited my dad, I saw the prayers being answered.

I texted my friend Cheryl about Dad and the progress he was making. She texted me, “If this had happened to your dad several years ago, you would have fallen to pieces, but you have handled your dad getting sick very well. I’m so proud of you.”

She’s right. If my dad had been put on a ventilator before I reached recovery, I would have injured, felt suicidal and maybe even needed to be admitted to a mental health hospital, but now I used coping techniques and my support system to make it through without becoming an emotional wreck.

As you’re reading this, my dad will be leaving rehab and returning home to be with my mom. He must use a walker or a cane, but I have faith that in time he will be back to going for long walks, working on airplanes, flying his own private plane, and working in the vineyard he and my mom own. In the meantime, I will visit them often and help them as much as I can. My parents took care of me my whole life and believed in me when no one else did, and now it’s my turn to be there for them.

Have faith in yourself while you’re in recovery. When times get tough, use coping techniques and your support system to make it through. Take each day as it comes and be proud of each accomplishment you make. Let your determination keep you in the light of recovery.

My dad still has a long journey ahead of him, and I know I’m strong enough to be at his side supporting him. I inherited my dad’s determination and that is what keeps me bathing in the light of recovery.

YOU CAN DO IT

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

When you are struggling with depression, you lose interest in everyday things and you have feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness. It becomes too easy to neglect your health and daily routines and tasks. You get stuck in a rut you can’t get out of. Even getting out of bed becomes very difficult. You feel as if you can’t move past this horrible sadness that has taken over your life.

I grew up with parents and grandparents who didn’t believe in the words, “I can’t.” Whenever my siblings or I said I can’t do something, my mom would look us in the eyes and tell us “There’s no such thing as can’t. You can do anything you put your mind to.” Her words were my inspiration and became my motto. If someone told me, I couldn’t do something I found a way to prove that person wrong. Throughout elementary they told me I couldn’t read, so I worked hard to learn how to read; they told me I couldn’t longer pass classes on my own, and in high school I passed my classes with “As” and “Bs.” My teachers said I would be on welfare when I grew up, but I graduated from college, I have worked the same job for twenty-eight years and I have written a book.

When I realized I had major depression in college, I felt like my life was doomed. I couldn’t sleep at night, I got sick every morning, I became suicidal, and I self-injured. It took all my strength to get out of bed each morning and go to my classes, yet I continued to get high grades. My life seemed like an endless cycle of hopelessness and inner agony, but I refused to fail at college. It was hard to pass my classes when I was so sick, but I could still hear those teachers from school saying, “You can’t succeed.” This drove me to study long hours to pass my classes.

For many who are struggling with depression, the simplest routine tasks like taking a shower, combing hair, eating, or getting out of bed seem impossible. It’s easy to give up and say, “I can’t do it.” The thing is if you dig deep down inside yourself, you’ll realize you can do it. You can get out of bed, you can take a shower, you can eat, and you can stand up to depression. Remember there is no such thing as, “I can’t.”

Are you lying in bed feeling too tired and depressed to get up? Then say to yourself, “I can get up,” several times. Dig deep down inside you until you get the determination to slip out of bed. Take small steps. Be proud of yourself for each step you take and shout out, “I did it!” Your illness doesn’t have to run your life. You can fight it, you can work towards getting better, and you can reach recovery.

Reaching recovery was the hardest battle I have ever fought. So many times I felt like I just couldn’t go on and I didn’t want to go on. I felt like I was doomed to a life of misery. My mom’s words, “There’s no such thing as can’t. You can do anything you put your mind to,” kept me pushing forward.

When I got home from work and the man I was living with told me he was kicking me out, I ended up in a mental health hospital. He told me he couldn’t help me because I could never get better. His words inspired me to fight harder. In a week I got out of the hospital and started on the path to recovery. I moved back home, I started going to group therapy, and I found a new therapist. Through several years I took steps towards recovery.

You might feel like reaching recovery is impossible and there is no way you can reach it, but you can. Take the first steps now. Start slowly and build your way up. Recovery doesn’t come easily so plan on fighting hard. Remember there is no such thing as can’t. “You can do anything you put your mind to.” Fight for happiness, fight for a new beginning, and fight for yourself. I believe in you. “You can do it.”

I believed I could get better, and I fought hard for it and I reached it. I stand in the light of recovery shouting, “I did it!”