Tag: Jesus

DON’T GIVE UP

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Depression sucks life out of you. It’s a heavy burden to carry. It takes away your self-esteem, energy, ability to make decisions, joy and so much more. It’s easier to give up than to fight depression. It’s easier to lie in bed all day than to force yourself to get up and do something. It’s easier to let negative thoughts beat you down than to challenge them. It’s easier to choose death than to choose to face your illness, but giving up isn’t worth it.

There is a light above the dark hole you are dwelling in. There is hope when there seems like there is none. You can become a functioning member of society. You can find happiness and brighter days. You can decide to live and fight this awful sickness. Doing what is hard takes a lot of determination, strength, and energy, but the outcome is worth it. Don’t give up. Fight. I fought and I now live above the hole of depression.

I once thought that there was no way out of my dark hole. Climbing the walls towards the light seemed impossible. My negative thoughts were endless, I couldn’t sleep at night, I had little energy, I hated myself, and my life seemed hopeless. I even planned my death. One night I took a bunch of pills and felt dizzy and sick. Some how I drove myself to college and back in a snowstorm. My only explanation is that God got me there and back. I was ready to give up, but God wasn’t ready to give up on me.

I had turned my back on God. I blamed him for my illness. Why was he allowing me to suffer? Did God make a mistake when he made me? Was God real or a fairy tale? Was he punishing me? I stopped going to church. I lay in bed and allowed the darkness to overtake me. But God did not give up on me. He pushed me forward. He gave me determination to fight even when I thought I couldn’t. He gave me a wonderful mom who searched for help for me. He gave me a good therapist. He gave me people to support me and encourage me.

I’ll be honest with you. Fighting depression and reaching recovery is a brutal battle and it takes time, persistence, determination, and all your energy. It took all of mine to fight it, but God was whispering in my ear, “Don’t give up.” I wanted a better life, I wanted to find happiness, and I wanted out of my hole. I climbed the hole and fell again. Then I got up and started again. I kept pushing myself forward no matter how hard it got. I just wanted to live again instead of just existing.

I have lived through a lot of heartaches and struggles in my life, and I couldn’t have made it through them if I had given up. By fighting I learned that life is full of hard times, heartaches, and challenges, but if you keep fighting you can get through them. Things do get better. There is always sunshine waiting for you beyond the rough times.

Taking your life is permanent, but depression is not permanent. There is no cure for mental illness and you will have bouts of depression, but you’ll be strong enough to pull yourself out of it in recovery. Happiness and a productive life are waiting for you. Don’t take the easy way out. Fight for yourself, fight for happiness, fight for a bright future, and fight for the light. You can do it! I believe in you.

Because I didn’t give up, I live a happy life in recovery wrapped in the arms of God.

CHRISTMAS JOY

Published on by Aimee Eddy3 Comments

A holiday, especially at Christmas, can be a very hard time for people. There are the stresses of buying gifts, preparing a meal, family get-togethers, and family drama. Some people are struggling with grief, mental illness, and loneliness. All these can make Christmas seem unbearable. How do you make it through the holidays if you’re struggling with these things? Do you lie in bed and ignore the holidays?

I used to find the holidays unbearable. I had loving parents and grandparents, but I felt alone. I was struggling with depression and didn’t know it. While everyone was excited about Christmas, I was dying inside. Everything seemed dark and hopeless. I couldn’t find the Christmas spirit. Instead of smiling and laughing with my siblings, I was grumpy and easily got mad or irritated. I’d lash out in anger when someone was just joking with me. I was a miserable person to be around. My parents couldn’t understand why I hated holidays. I even felt like I was alone among family at my grandparents. I wanted to hide from everyone.

When I got older and started going to therapy, I learned to cope with the holidays. I learned to find the positive side to holidays. I learned Christmas isn’t about the material gifts, but gifts from the heart. As a teen I woodburned gifts for my parents and grandparents. Even now that I’m an adult I woodburn gifts for friends and family. If I feel alone among family, I find one person I can confide in and talk to. When I feel hopeless, I list the things I’m grateful for. When I feel depressed, I journal out my feelings or turn to my support system.

This year I have been teetering on the edge of the hole of depression. 2024 has been rough and we have been struggling financially. I’ve been trying to help my husband find a job. I keep myself busy by wooodburing gifts, I‘ve been leaning on my support system and listing the positive things in my life. Unemployment claims my husband is working when he’s actually not and has paused his unemployment benefits until further review. We are pinching pennies, and everything seems hopeless but it’s not. Many positive things have happened: My parents help us when they can; a co-worker is gave us half a ham and we got a lot of food from the food bank. We even had some extra canned foods to give to an elderly lady in our neighborhood. We also received a check from one of my customers, and we used it to get each other a few gifts. We’re also blessed to have have a warm home.

I love it when my husband spoils me with gifts and I love to spoil him too, but we can’t do much of that this year. Christmas isn’t about celebrating with family, buying gifts, or eating big meals. Christmas is about the gift God gave us, his Son. We don’t need money to celebrate Jesus’s birthday. We just need to have the Holy Spirit in our hearts and love of Jesus and God in our souls. Money can’t buy that. If you have those then you don’t need family, gifts or food to enjoy Christmas.

You can share the love of God by smiling, saying a kind word, giving a hug, or dressing for the season. I dress up in holiday shirts and hats at work. I have one hat with Santa’s feet at the top like Santa got caught in a chimney on my head. It puts a smile on my customers’ faces, some giggle and it eases the stress of holiday shopping. I smile with the love of God in me and my customers love that. When you give a gift from the heart, then you are giving the true gift of Christmas. God gave us the gift of his Son, from his heart.

If you’re struggling this Christmas, find ways to cope, leave family get togethers when they become too much, or list memories of your loved one. If you’re alone, celebrate Jesus’s birthday by lighting a candle and eating something special. Find the joy of Christmas in your soul by thanking God for his gift by giving a gift from the heart. A few customers told me they had no family so Christmas is just another day, but it’s not. It’s a special day and you can celebrate without family. You can pray to God, sing “Happy Birthday” to Jesus, make a special meal for yourself, or find a place offering Christmas dinners to go eat.

Despite a rough year and lots of stress, I’m celebrating Christmas with a smile on my face and God in my soul. This Christmas my soul will shine bright in God’s love while I celebrate in the light of recovery. Merry Christmas!!!