Tag: self-harm

HOW TO COPE WHEN YOU’RE TRIGGERED TO SELF-INJURE

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Last week I shared healthy coping techniques to use instead of self-injuring, but there are still things that will trigger you. Everyone has triggers that cause them extra stress or anxiety. Self-injurers have things that trigger their need to hurt themselves. In order to completely quit self-harming you have to know your triggers and how to cope with them. It’s a process to stop hurting yourself and it’s not an easy one. Take each day step by step.

When I was self-injuring, a lot of things triggered me to injure like stresses of life, a bad relationship, feelings of worthlessness, feeling alone when with others, and angry outbursts. When I started to replace my self-injuring with healthy coping techniques, I found myself struggling with my triggers. To control those triggers, I had to learn new techniques. It wasn’t easy. A few times I slid backwards, but in time the need to harm myself went away.

Here are some coping techniques to cope with your triggers:

  • Reach out to someone you trust or someone on your support team. In last week’s post I mentioned starting a support team. This team should be a group of people you trust and know will be supportive. If you don’t have a team, talk to someone you feel comfortable with and trust. This is not a fight you can do alone.
  • Go somewhere different. Self-injurers are known to hurt themselves in the same room or area. Leave that place. Go where there are other people like to a restaurant or to the movies. Go for a walk in the park or ride a bike to your favorite spot in nature. Find something fun to do like going hiking, going out with friends, going to a fair, or anything else you consider fun.
  • Practice breathing exercises or relaxation techniques. Breathe in slowly and slowly exhale several times. Do relaxation techniques like listening to soft music or nature sounds, visualization or guided imagery, or muscle relaxation. Some people do yoga and meditation. This helps relax the body and refocus the mind.
  • Express your feelings. Express your feelings the best way you know how to like with journaling, art, dance, crafts, or some other kind of art. Find whatever way you can to release your feelings and emotions. Keeping them inside only makes the triggers stronger.
  • Punch a punching bag or pillow. Use a punching bag or pillow to let out your pent-up feelings. Punch until everything inside you is released. Keep from punching anything that will lead to more harm. Keep it safe. It defeats the purpose if you hurt yourself while letting out your feelings.
  • Use something cold. Hold an ice cube until the sting replaces the need to self-harm. Put an ice pack on your chest to get your adrenaline pumping. These will take the place of hurting yourself without causing you injury.
  • Join a support group. A support group gives you other individuals who are struggling with the same problems. Together you’re on the same journey, and through the group you will learn more about self-injury and other coping techniques. Your support group can also become like a support system. You support each other.
  • Seek professional help. When nothing else works, turn to a professional for help. Get a therapist and psychiatrist. A psychiatrist can try different medications to treat your mental illness to minimize the symptoms that make you want to hurt yourself. A therapist can help you work through your mental illness and self-injury. You must be willing to do the work.

Try these techniques when you feel triggered to injure. Putting an end to self-injury is not an easy task. It takes a lot of hard work and dedication. You may slip up a few times, but don’t give up. Keep fighting the urge and in time it becomes easier. Once you learn to cope using healthy techniques, you will no longer have the need to hurt yourself.

Once in a great while I think of injuring, but instead I use my coping techniques. With my healthy coping techniques, I stand in the light harm free and happy.

COPING TECHNIQUES FOR THOSE WHO SELF-HARM

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Recently I was asked to write a keynote speech for One Life Project’s online conference in August. When Alex Kavarovic asked me to write it, the subject of the speech came to me instantly: self-harm. Self-injuring happens frequently among teens and college students, and it’s a bad coping technique that is very hard to change. To stop injuring oneself, a struggler must find new and healthy coping techniques.

I was once a self-injurer. I had a lot of painful emotions inside me, and the only way I knew how to release them was to hurt myself. It wasn’t until I found the right therapist that I learned healthier ways to cope with my emotions. It was a challenge to give up self-injury; I was addicted to it as if it were a drug, but with new coping techniques I soon found I no longer needed it.

Below are some coping techniques to replace self-harming.

  • Express your feelings in a creative way. Find some way that you can release your feelings using different kinds of art like drawing, journaling, or dancing.
  • Keep a self-harm journal. In a self-harm journal write how you are feeling before you hurt yourself. List your emotions. Then after you injure write how you are feeling once the rush of the injury has gone away. Do you feel shame, anger at yourself, more depressed, or anxious? Look at your entry and ask yourself, “Was hurting myself worth it?” Then list healthy coping techniques you can try next time.
  • Change negative thoughts into positive ones. If you think, “I am a worthless person who ruins everyone’s lives,” change that to “I’m a good person who is important to many people.” You can take a piece of paper and fold it in half and put negative thoughts at the top of one side and on the other side write positive thoughts.
  • Talk to someone you trust. It’s important to build a supportive system of friends and family you can talk to when you feel the need to injure yourself. It’s very helpful to talk out your feelings and have someone help you find different ways to cope.
  • Go for a walk or do exercises. Walking and exercising are very good for your mental health. They give you something physical to do to release your pain. Ride a bike, do jumping jacks, lift weights, go for a run, and so on. When you walk, go briskly. Work out those emotions with each exercise or step.
  • Set a goal to stop injuring. Set a small goal at first, like going one week without harming yourself. When you make it to that one week, celebrate by having dinner with friends, treating yourself to something special, or buying a cake. After completing a week keep adding to your goal, two weeks, a month, or a year. Celebrate each time you reach your goal. In time you will go years without hurting yourself.
  • Write affirmations. Write positive things about yourself and your life. Put positive things about yourself on notecards, and put them where you’ll see and read them each day. Start a journal just for affirmations.
  • Seek help. Therapists can teach you different ways to cope with self-injury, give you someone to talk with, and guide you in putting an end to self-harm. It may be hard to find a good therapist who makes you feel comfortable. Don’t give up. Make sure you ask your therapist if he or she has experience helping others who self-injure.

Learning healthy coping techniques will help you overcome self-harm. You can break away from the shame, silent struggle, hiding your wounds, and the endless cycle of agony. Try these coping techniques. Practice them regularly until you no longer need to hurt yourself. You can reach recovery.

Because I practice these techniques and incorporate them in my life, I have gone 23 years without self-harm. I stand in the light of recovery with pride.