Tag: Stress

TIPS FOR MANAGING STRESS

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Life is stressful and some things that happen in our lives heighten our stress. Stress can lead to anxiety, depression, and lack of sleep. Knowing how to manage your stress will help you handle it in healthy ways.

I’m not very good at handling stress. I become overwhelmed and end up having anxiety attacks. Right now, my life is very stressful with my husband being sick, my dad having bone cancer, and my older sister being vision-impaired. I have been helping my sister find help for her vision problems by taking her to specialists. Now my husband is sick I need to do extra things to help him out. With his illness I’m trying to figure out what all I need to do to prepare for when his illness gets worse. I’m also trying to help him cope with his diagnosis and keep him active. It’s a lot. I feel more anxious.

I did some research and came up with some stress management tips.

  • Know your triggers. Know what things in your life cause you extra stress and work on ways to manage them. List the things in your life that cause you stress like money, death, divorce, illnesses, homework, school, college, and so on. Finances are a big trigger for me and right now we’re struggling financially. I’m doing my best to deal with the anxiety this stressor causes. I’m looking for financial help and cutting things we can do without from our budget.
  • Practice relaxation techniques. If you’re feeling stressed out, do deep breathing, listen to soft music, do guided imagery, meditation, and so on. Find which technique works best for you. I do deep breathing and guided imagery.
  • Set boundaries. Learn to say no. You can only do so much, and when you have a lot to do, it’s okay to say no when someone asks you to do something extra. Know how much you can handle and stay firm on not going over that limit. I know I have a lot going on right now, so if someone were to ask for my help with something else, I know to nicely say no.
  • Reduce your workload. If you have a lot of things to do and it’s stressing you out, see how you can reduce that. If you’re running a club, doing choir on the weekend, and volunteering three times a week, and you feel overwhelmed, then see what you can cut or do less of. I work part-time because working full-time causes me extra stress, which causes anxiety and depression.
  • Lean on your support team. If you are really struggling and feeling stressed out, turn to your support team. Talk to them about what is going on in your life.  They may have some good advice and encouraging words for you. Right now, with everything going on in my life, I am leaning on my support team a lot. They remind me to slow down and take one day at a time.
  • Take breaks. If you have a lot of things to do at once, find time to take breaks. My days off are when we plan errands and appointments. Doing a lot of running around gets stressful. My husband and I plan breaks in between our errands. We go for a ride around the peninsula in our city or go down to the dock.
  • Take care of yourself. When life gets stressful, you must remember to take care of your needs. Make sure you eat regularly, make time to sleep, do a craft you like, and make sure you are taking care of your health. While helping my husband cope with his illness, I’m making sure I’m managing my mental health. I take my medication, I use coping techniques, and I lean on my support team.
  • Look for professional help. If things become too much for you to handle, there is no shame in seeking professional help. A good therapist can help you find coping techniques and work through the things that cause you stress. Right no I’m handling the stress in my life well, but I know when things get worse to look for a therapist. I see a psychiatrist and I keep him informed on how I’m doing so he can properly manage my medication.

If you are dealing with a lot of stress in your life, try these tips. Managing stress effectively can help you avoid becoming anxious and depressed. It can also ease tension and help you maintain a healthy mental and physical wellbeing.

I’m working on managing my stress, and doing so helps me stay in the light of recovery.

SNOWAGEDDON AND DRAMA

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

Living by one of the great lakes, Lake Erie, makes weather in Erie PA and the regions nearby unpredictable. In 2017 we had nearly five feet of snow dumped on us on Christmas day, and my husband and I were stranded over night at my parents. Over the past few years, we have been lucky and had mild winters. I hoped this year would be easy too, but the unpredictable lake had other plans for us.

Thanksgiving Day was a clear and calm day. Then I woke up Friday morning to snow falling like God was dumping it from heaven in truck loads. My husband, Lou, was supposed to have an interview that afternoon. He drove me to work in slim visibility. I told him not to go to the interview and try to call them instead. I started work while he attempted to call, but he just got an answering machine. He then left to go home. I cashed out customers and Lou came to me upset. The vehicle would not start, and alarms were going off.

I handed a customer a bag of groceries and turned to my husband. “Maybe the steering wheel is locked. Try moving it around.”

For an hour Lou was in and out of the store trying everything he could think of to get our SUV to start. He came to me upset and soaked. Since I was working, I couldn’t help him. I told him to stay inside and dry off in the café until I got my break. When I got my break, we both went out to our SUV. This time we couldn’t open the doors. We went inside and I tried to call a few garages, but  I only got answering machines. The snow just kept coming down, so I told Lou to just relax in the café until I got off work.

Fifteen minutes before my shift ended Lou found a friend to take us home. My boss let me go early. He drove us to the end of our road, but the snow was so deep that cars were stuck in the road. We had to walk up a block to our home wile snow pounded us in the face. We only had the back door key, but our neighbor had the sidewalk to the front shoveled. We live in a row house, which is like a condominium. One side we are attached to a block of row houses, and on the other we have a small fenced in yard. On the other side of the fences was a long row of more houses. The yard was too deep to walk through and the alley where we usually park our cars was unplowed. Our neighbor let me walk through their house to the back. I waded through snow past my knees to our driveway. I pulled the gate to our fence, opened it a little, and squeezed through. I waded through more snow until I got on our deck and into the house. I let Lou in the front door.

Our front porch.

The next two days I was off work. I didn’t leave the house on Saturday and on Sunday my neighbor took me to the store to get a few things. The snow continued to pile up. I binged on Netflix, worked on workbooks for One Life Project, texted with my friends, and watched Christmas movies with my husband. We watched the news to find that they declared a snow emergency for Erie and called in the National Guard. People were stranded on the major highways and warming centers were being put in place.

Monday it stopped snowing during the day, but the roads were bad. Buses were canceled so I called off work. I had no way of getting there. My dad traveled from Ripley NY, a half hour away for his treatment at the cancer center. Afterwards he tried to get our vehicle started with no luck. My parents took us back to Ripley with them and my dad lent us his pickup. It was nice to have a vehicle to drive, but since I’m short, getting into my dad’s pickup was like climbing a mountain. Getting out I had to slide off the edge of the seat until I reached the ground.

The next day my dad had our vehicle towed. On Wednesday he told us to bring our spare key fob because the one we were using was causing our car problems. That night we drove our car home. The next day when we tried to start it, it wouldn’t start again. We tried to go back in the house, but I had accidentally locked us out. I had a spare key for the back door. So once again, we went through our neighbor’s house to the back of the house. This time the snow was waist deep, and we had to use our neighbor’s shovel to remove snow from around the gate in order for me to squeeze through. I got in the house and let my husband in the front door. We called my dad and spent the rest of the day at home.

Our back yard and porch that I had to wade through

The next morning my parents came so my dad could check the battery in our car. The battery was dead. My dad dropped me off at work and went and got a battery. When my husband showed up for my break, I knew our SUV was running again.

For that whole week it snowed each night, adding to the snow total and back roads became narrower and narrower. The snowplows ran tirelessly, but there was no place to put the snow. By Tuesday the following week customers were starting to dig themselves out and were filling the aisles of the grocery stores. By Friday the news said we had a little over four feet of snow.

I could have gotten down and depressed with our situation, but instead I kept myself busy. I was stressed and frustrated with our car problems, but my dad, our hero, came to our rescue. We were in a bad situation, but as my friend Amy always says, “God will provide,” and he did. Each time I started to worry I texted a friend or found something to do. I kind of liked my two days off from work and away from reality. We were nice and warm in our home.

If you are feeling trapped by the winter weather and dealing with problems you can’t control, turn to your support system, find things to keep you busy, pamper yourself, and find ways to relax. Life throws us in a snowbank sometimes, and it’s up to us to dig ourselves out and to cope.

Next week they are predicting warmer temperatures and rain. We might be swimming our way around Erie. I stayed strong through our drama and because of that I am dancing in the light of recovery.

COPING WITH STRESS

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

Stress causes physical and mental health problems such as stomach issues, weakened immune system, high blood pressure, tense muscles causing aches and pain, depression, and anxiety. We all deal with some type of stress in our lives, but when you have mental illness stress can make your illness worse. With mental illness minor things can stress you out and it can lead to self-injury, anxiety attacks, and suicide attempts.

The important thing is to know how to cope with stress so that you can reach towards the light of recovery or stay in the light of recovery. Here are some coping techniques I learned to deal with stress:

  • Identify your trigger. What types of things cause you to be stressed? Could it be dealing with family problems, could it be taking on too much responsibility, could it be making important decisions, or working long hours? List your triggers in a journal or on a sheet of paper. I keep a list of my triggers in my journal.
  • Reduce your to-do list. If you are doing too much, then cut your list down. See what is most important for you to complete, and leave the other things for another time. If work stresses you out, then determine if you need a different job or if you can reduce the number of hours you work. I work part time because working full time is too stressful for me and causes my anxiety to heighten.
  • Practice relaxation. Find something to do that relaxes you such as listening to music, deep breathing, trying yoga, practicing mindfulness, taking a bath, going for a walk, or doing a craft. Everyone has different ways or things they do that help them relax. Find something that works for you. I find woodburning, imagining lying on a beach, and deep breathing relaxing.
  • Turn to your support system. If you don’t have a support system, build one. Having friends and family that support you is very helpful with your mental illness and dealing with stress. If you’re feeling stressed, talk to someone in your support system, make plans to meet for lunch, send a text or invite them over. Leaning on others who can encourage you, listen to you, and who can help you see a different perspective will help you handle your feelings and stress better. When I’m stressed out, I lean on my husband and friends. My friend, Cheryl, and my husband always help me see things in a different way and find away to get me to laugh.
  • Ask for help. If you can’t deal with your stress on your own, consider going to therapy. A therapist can work with you on different coping techniques that will help you. If you are taking too much on, then ask a friend or family member to help you out. If you are making a decision that stresses you out ask someone to guide you with that decision. If you have too much to do, then ask a family member or friend to help you get it done. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. When I have problems with making a decision, I ask my husband for help, and when I have too much to do, I ask my husband to help me out.
  • Know your limits. Know how much you can handle before you get stressed out. Once you know your limits, stick to them. If a friend asks you to put together a baby shower for her and it pushes past your limits, kindly tell your friend you can’t do it. If working two jobs is too much, then just work one. If everyone is asking you to do something for them and it causes you stress, then only take on what you feel comfortable with and tell the others no. There is nothing wrong with limiting how much you do for your own wellbeing. I only do as much as I feel comfortable with. If it is more than I can handle, then I tell people no or I do less.
  • Take care of yourself. If you take care of your physical and mental health, you will be able to handle stress better. Get plenty of sleep, eat well, practice coping techniques, take your medicine, and pamper yourself when you need to. When I’m stressed it is easy to skip a meal or lose sleep by worrying too much. I try to journal out my worries before bed, and I make sure I eat three meals a day. If I’m worrying too much and can’t sleep, I talk to my husband, and he helps me talk things out so I can sleep.
  • Challenge your negative thoughts and practice positive thinking. If you’re thinking negative things, turn them into positive thoughts. Try to practice positive thinking to keep your spirits up. Bad thoughts only bring you down and make you feel hopeless. I journal out my negative thoughts and then change them to positive ones. When I’m negative, my husband reminds me to be positive. I notice when I focus on the positive, I feel better.

When stress starts to drag you down that dark hole, practice these coping techniques. Don’t let stress cause you physical health problems and worsen your mental health. You are important and it’s important to know how to take care of yourself by managing your stress with coping techniques. Sometimes there is stress in your life you just can’t avoid, but by coping with it you can handle it better.

By managing my stress, I relax in the light of recovery.

LIFE’S ROADBLOCKS

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

“Give it to God and all your anxiety and stress will ease,” they tell me. I lie in my bed at night praying really hard for my worries to ease, my inner pain to go away, and for strength, but I feel no better. Is it because I’m not a good Christian, am I not praying the right way, or have I lost my connection with God? With mental illness it’s very hard to just let go of stress and anxiety, especially when life is putting up so many roadblocks. Praying doesn’t just take away my racing thoughts, anguish, tense muscles, and upset stomach. My mind won’t stop.

Life has been a challenge for a couple years since my husband’s workplace started remodeling. I held on to the hope that once the remodeling was done, he would be back to his full-time hours, and we would be on our feet again. Then when the remodeling ended, my husband got his hours back for a short time, but suddenly they cut him down to two days a week. He got unemployment, but not enough to pay all our bills. I told my boss to take me off express register and go to regular register, despite scoliosis and screws in my back so I could get more hours. We emptied our Christmas funds to pay some bills, and we still could not pay them all.

We started searching for jobs. We put in application after application only to hear nothing back. When my husband followed up, they told him they were still looking over applications. My husband felt hopeless, my anxiety heightened, and my stress levels went high. We started going to the food bank because we could only get twenty-three dollars in food stamps.

Then suddenly he got a phone interview with a department store. It was the answer to our prayers. He would only be making forty-eight cents less than his current job. We agreed he would still work two days a week at the current job until he got health insurance at the new job. We were excited. Finally, we would get back on our feet. Then suddenly his job of thirty-four years laid him off permanently, leaving him without insurance. Then after working a week and two days at the new job, he and six other new employees were laid off permanently. Suddenly my husband was jobless.

I was at work when my husband told me he lost his second job. I fell apart and had to sit in the manager’s office bawling my eyes out for almost an hour. The coordinator offered me words of encouragement until I was able to calm down. My world crumbled before my eyes. Our hopes were wiped away with one swipe. My worst fear of going broke and losing everything we owned seemed like it was coming true. Will we have to file for bankruptcy? Will we have to move in with my parents until we can get back on our feet? How could we find my husband another job? The worries ripped at my insides and flooded my mind.

My husband has an appointment for a very important test on November thirteen. We have waited for months for this test, but he now has no insurance. How could we pay for the test? So, I called and found out the cost of the test and started a GoFundMe. I raised more than enough for the test, but what if he needs further treatment? I filed for Medicaid for him, and all we can do now is pray he gets it.

My friend told me to give my stress and worries to God and I would feel better. I prayed and prayed for God to give me some peace, but the racing thoughts and endless worries continued. Some days I feel like the air is being squeezed from my lungs. My husband has been struggling to sleep and feeling down. It’s up to me to keep his spirits up, but my insides feel like I’m going to fall to pieces. Life’s roadblocks keep getting bigger and bigger and I can’t see around them.

I asked God, “Why are you not helping us?” “Why are you not easing my anxiety, stress, and worrying?” “Why are you not giving me peace? Is it because I don’t know how to give it to you?”  “Why are you letting all these bad things happen to us?” I stood at the edge of the hole of depression barely able to hold on waiting for an answer from God.

My parents gave us a bunch of coins to turn in for money, people donated so Lou could have his test, and a friend sent us a gift card for a grocery store. My mom also told me about a program that can help us pay an overdue bill, and we’re waiting for the application to apply for it. God has been giving us help to ease some of our burdens, and he’s been carrying us through. I was just too caught up in my emotions to see what God has been doing.

I realized it was my turn to do the work to control my worrying, stress, and anxiety. So, I journal out my worries and feelings, I turn to my support system, and I praise God for the signs that he is working in our lives to get us through this rough time.

God works in mysterious ways to get us through the roadblocks in our lives. Open your eyes to the things that happen in your life that are God’s way of helping you. It might not be as simple as God magically shutting off those racing thoughts and bad feelings, but it could be things put in your life to show you how to find peace. God will get you through life’s roadblocks, but you also must do some work to keep yourself from falling down the hole or falling deeper. Use your coping techniques to deal and let God carry you through.

I know now God is showing me I have nothing to worry about and stress about. He’s giving me the help I need to stay strong during this roadblock in my life. God is holding me in the light of recovery.

HOLIDAY STRESS AND DEPRESSION

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

Holidays are a joyous time of year, but also a stressful time, especially this year. With inflation being so high, people are extra stressed about affording the fixings for dinners, for buying gifts, and paying bills. We work hard to keep family traditions going and giving our best to our loved ones. Such stressors like these can increase sadness in those who have depression. It can make the holidays seem bleak and hopeless.

When I was a child, the holidays sent me into a deep hole of depression. When we exchanged names for gifts, I usually got a gag gift and became the joke of the class. Everyone laughed but me. During the holidays I spent a lot of time alone, I got upset easily, and I got into fights with my siblings. I even argued with my parents and cried silently at night.

 I felt so alone. I was bullied in school and had very few friends, which worsened my depression. One year I asked for a Ventriloquist puppet so I could have a friend. I got the puppet for Christmas and worked on having it talk without moving my lips. I carried on conversations with it, but it wasn’t the same as having a human friend.

When I met my husband, my holiday depression faded away. He goes out of his way to spoil me with love and gifts. With him I’m never alone and I get wonderful gifts instead of gag gifts. I’m the sparkle in his eyes and he is the sparkle in mine. I enjoy spoiling him too. But this year is extremely hard and stressful. We’ve had a rough year financial. There has been a lot of unexpected problems throughout 2023.

Every year my husband and dad have a tradition of going together to pick out Christmas trees, but this year we don’t have the money for a real tree. My older sister is giving us a fake tree to put up. It’ll be our first fake tree since we got married.

We are struggling to pay bills and put food on the table. Each week I sit down to pay the bills and tears fall because the money won’t stretch far enough. Bills keep coming in that we can’t pay and my stress increases. By the time I pay what I can, we have little money for food. My parents help us out by bringing us some food and we go to our church food bank. I fear my biggest nightmare is coming true. I fear we’re going to go bankrupt and lose everything. This stirs up my anxiety and leaves me struggling with obsessive worrying when I should be sleeping at night.

Stress has led to bouts of depression. I feel like I have failed us. I take care of the bills and I have always been able to pay them until now. What have I done wrong? How will we ever get out of this mess? Will we have to skip Christmas? Will we end up living in a box in an alley? The worries are nonstop day and night. I feel like I can’t breathe.

I’ve been asking to work overtime at work to get more hours. Sometimes they say yes and other times no. I’ve tried an author event in a town forty-five minutes away, hoping to sell some books, but unfortunately very few people showed up. I did sell some bookmarks, that were meant to be given free, to fellow authors. That money got us supper on our trip home. I’m woodburning Christmas ornaments, hoping those will sell to give us a little extra money. I’ve sold two so far.

We have a Christmas account at our bank. I used some of the money to pay some bills, but Lou insisted we keep a little money to get each other a few gifts. We’ll be having Thanksgiving dinner at my parent’s. My parents always send us home with leftovers.

To cope with my stress, bouts of depression, and the holidays, I journal out my feelings and I list five positive things each day. I also turn to my support system, I pray, and I keep myself busy with my writing and woodburning. Most importantly, I take care of myself. I remind myself that money doesn’t make the holidays happy; love does. I rely on God to see us through our difficult times, and I thank God for all who have been helping us in out time of need. Traditions can change, gifts can be small, but love is the largest gift of all. God’s love is what shines in every holiday.

If you’re struggling with the holidays, then write a list of the positive things in your life. Do things that make you happy. Take care of yourself. Remember the holidays are about much more than large meals and fancy gifts. Sometimes the best gifts are those from the heart. Make do with what you do have and be grateful that God gave you that. Worry about your stressors for a few minutes and then let them go. Focus on the positive.

These holidays are different for us, but this Thanksgiving I am thankful. I’m thankful for the help of family, for my husband’s love, for having a home, for the support of friends, and for God’s love. Holding onto the positive is what is getting me through the holidays and keeping me standing in the light of recovery.