Tag: self-care

SELF-CARE WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU TOO MUCH

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

You know that old saying, “When it rains it pours?” Well it holds true to life’s challenges. When life’s challenges come raining down on us, it only takes a moment before more problems pour down. Things seem to go wrong all at once. They start small and get bigger. It’s a lot to handle. We often wonder if we have enough strength to handle it. It’s especially hard when you’re struggling with mental illness or are in recovery. How do you keep yourself from falling apart? What do you do for yourself during the rough times?

Lately life seems to be pouring problems down on my husband and me. It seems like it’s too much to handle. It started when we got our car inspected and found out we had a leak in the muffler. Then we got the dreaded phone call telling us our nephew had passed on, and after returning home from his memorial service, I got sick with a viral infection. We got an estimate on our muffler and found out we needed a new muffler and exhaust manifold. The cost was over a thousand dollars. Next my viral infection turned into a sinus infection, and I got a bad rash on my face. Then I didn’t see a car behind me while backing up and hit it. Finally, a lump on our dog’s leg grew bigger, and when we took her to the vet, they said there were unusual cells in it and they needed to remove it. Plus, they found that our dog has a significant heart murmur.

When I told my therapist about all the things going on in my life, she asked me, “What are you doing for yourself?”

I thought hard about it. How was I taking care of myself? When our nephew passed, I couldn’t cry and I struggled with grief and some depression. I poured out my emotions in my journal. I texted with my friend Cheryl. I took extra time off work to deal with the loss. With the muffler I took a deep breath and went through our finances to see how we could manage to get it repaired. I tried to stay positive by looking for good things about getting a new muffler, like with it fixed the car would be quieter. I practiced self-care.

At one time I used to force myself to go to work sick. That only ended up with me getting worse, and a few times I ended up in the ER with an IV. This time I called off work. I slept most of the day; when I was awake, I lay on the couch and watched TV with my husband. I didn’t do housework or even cook supper. I ordered dinner in and pampered myself. Part of self-care is nurturing yourself and taking care of your physical health along with your mental health.

I could have easily slipped into depression while things were going wrong, but I practiced self-care. I used my journal to express my feelings, I took my medications, I leaned on my support system, I did woodburning to help me relax, and I talked to my therapist. I also rested when I needed to and went to the doctor. Plus, I made sure to take my medications as prescribed.

When your life gives you too many challenges to handle, it’s important to take care of yourself mentally and physically. What things can you do to take care of your needs and to show yourself love? Self-care is more than just meditating and taking bubble baths. It’s about finding ways to relax, going to the doctor, resting when your body is tired, making important decisions, setting boundaries, and managing finances. Making self-care an important part of your life helps you get through mental illness and keeps you in recovery. When life gets to be too much to handle, make sure you take care of yourself this will help you face the hard times with strength.

Things have been very hard lately. The bad things don’t seem to stop happening. Life seems overwhelming. It seems like God is giving me too much to handle, but he helps me handle it. I make it a priority to use coping techniques and self-care to face each challenge, and this helps me stay in the light of recovery.

CAREGIVING AND MENTAL HEALTH

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

Mental illness is a rough disease, and even in recovery you must spend each day managing it. When you throw extra challenges in your life, like dealing with a loved one (LO) with dementia, staying in recovery becomes a bigger challenge. You no longer are just taking care of your illness; you are also taking care of someone else’s illness. This makes staying in the light even harder.

My loved one is in the early stages of dementia. He’s independent to a point. He is still able to stay home while I work, and he can help me with some stuff around the house, but he still needs my help with a lot of things. I take care of his medication, make his lunches before work, and leave reminders on Alexa for him to eat it. I also remind him to take care of his hygiene, I manage his diet for diabetes, I keep track of his appointments, and I also remind him about small stuff too. I also have to handle changes in his mood like arguing and anger outbursts.

He’s young, only in his sixties, and I’m only fifty-one. It’s so unfair that he has this illness at such a young age. We should have many more years to make memories, but we don’t. We must make every moment count now. I’m sad, angry, and frustrated. Some days I want to lie in bed and cry. I wish I had a magical wand to take this illness from him. He gets so frustrated when he can’t remember things and it breaks my heart.

So much has been taken away from him because of dementia that it feels like he’s losing everything. He can no longer work, he can’t drive, and his memory is fading. At times I’m the bad guy because I must tell him repeatedly, he can’t drive, he can’t work, he forgot to shower, and much more. He gets mad at me, and I try not to take it personally, but it hurts.

Dealing with my LO’s illness is very emotional and threatens to throw me back down the hole of depression, but I can’t let it. When my LO was diagnosed with diabetes I got

depressed. I knew I was going to have to manage it and make sure he follows a healthy diet on top of managing his dementia. All day at work I felt like crying, I was very sad, and just wanted to hide. When I got out of work, I told my LO I was sick and went to our room. I lay in bed crying until I fell asleep. I teetered on the edge of that dark hole.

I realized I need to take care of my mental illness while taking care of my LO. I used a program through work to help me find a therapist. I’m not in a depression, but I needed someone to confide in and to talk about my feelings to to stay in recovery. I found a therapist who understands what I’m going through and she is very good. I told my psychiatrist about my LO so he can keep track of how I’m doing. I confided in my support team. I also joined mental health and dementia support groups online.

All caregivers must take care of themselves as well as their loved ones, but it’s extra work to take care of your mental illness on top of caregiving and to stay in recovery. I find it hard to manage my medication on top of my LO’s, but I know it’s important. It’s also important to use coping techniques like journaling, relaxation techniques, finding positives, and grounding techniques. It’s okay to need a break from your LO too. Self-care is also important. Take time for yourself like having someone stay with your LO while you go out for a while, take a relaxing bath, eat healthy, exercise, take care of your hygiene, and find time for your hobbies.

Caring for yourself and your mental health is as important as taking care of your LO. I make my illness as much of a priority as my LO is. This helps me stay in the light of recovery.

HOW FAR I’VE COME

Published on by Aimee Eddy3 Comments

I’m sitting here trying to think of something to write for a blog post. I decided to just write. Life seems to be especially hard right now. I’m emotionally supporting my husband, my sister, and my parents when they need me. I have a lot of emotions running through me and I have not been able to work on my next book. As I go through this trying time, I look back on how far I have come, and I have come a long way.

There was a time when I was at the bottom of the dark hole of my illness that I couldn’t make a simple decision, let alone take care of myself. I couldn’t see past my own inner agony to see that others in my life had struggles of their own. I couldn’t support others. Everything was too overwhelming. My inner pain was so deep that I could barely exist.

I wasn’t a good friend, daughter, or sibling. There were times I lashed out at my parents and siblings just because I was suffering. There were times when my mom was going through something, and I got mad at her for not listening to me. I broke out into fits of rage saying awful things and throwing things.

My best friend was in an abusive relationship and struggling with her own emotions, but I was stuck in my darkness and didn’t give her the support she needed. Instead she became my lifeline, talking me down when I wanted to die or self-injure. She even pulled me out of the road when I wanted to take my life. She listened, she supported me, she saved me, and I was unable to do the same for her.

Several years later I am in recovery. She supports me and I support her. I have other friends that I give back to. I am now strong enough to be there for my parents as they grow older and my dad struggles with bone cancer. I’m helping my husband through an awful illness, and I’m helping my sister get help for an eye condition she has. At one time I could have never done all of this. If this would have happened when I was at my lowest, I would have needed to go into the hospital.

I often think of my future. If I can no longer take care of my husband or he passes, am I well enough to live alone? Would I be okay by myself? I tell my husband that when he passes I will die of a broken heart because I could never live without him. I’m beginning to think with the support of friends and family, I may be able to some day in the way future live on my own.

There is no cure for mental illness and some days I really struggle, but I get through the bad days. It’s important to take my medications, practice self-care, use coping techniques, have a support system, and know my limitations. It took years of therapy and hard work to get this far, but I’m proud of myself. I have more good days than bad days now. I’m helping others, I’m a good daughter, a good sibling, and a good friend.

If you think there is no end to your inner pain and you’ll never get better, you’re wrong. There is a light above the hole. Keep climbing and reaching for it. You have a happy future waiting for you and there is a lot you can accomplish if you keep fighting. You can reach recovery, too.

Hard work, the right medication, and determination got me to where I am now. I’m now standing in the light of recovery as a strong woman.

SELF-CARE FOR MENTAL HEALTH

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

While struggling with mental illness, we may be so busy with jobs, college, children, and other responsibilities that taking care of ourselves gets pushed away. Or we could be struggling so much that we give up on ourselves. Wherever you are at with the mental illness you are fighting, you must take time out to care for yourself. Self-care is important in all aspects of mental illness, even in recovery.

In my journey through mental illness and as I work to stay in recovery, I came up with a few ways to practice self-care. Here are some important ways to take care of yourself.

  • Eat healthy meals. This is something I am working on. It’s important to watch how much sugary food you place into your body and to put together healthy meals. Add vegetables to your meals, snack on fruits, limit late night snacks, eat out less, and look into preparing wholesome meals.
  • Make time for meals. I always make sure I have three meals a day. If you’re busy, make a plan to take time out of your schedule to eat three meals daily. If you feel depressed and are avoiding eating, then force yourself to take time to eat. Put it on the calendar or set an alarm in your phone to remind you to take the time to eat. Food gives you the nutrients and strength you need to fight this illness. If you don’t eat regularly or avoid eating, you can cause physical health problems for yourself.
  • Take time for relaxation. You can spend money on a spa day, a massage, or a manicure. You can also relax without spending much money at all by taking a bubble bath, doing crafts, watching a funny movie, or listening to music. To relax I woodburn, soak in a bath, or write.
  • Take care of your mental and physical health. Listen to your body; if something doesn’t feel right or you feel sick, take care of yourself. Call off from work, go to the doctor when you need to, and allow yourself time for rest. When you notice you’re not handling your illness well or you’re getting worse, ask for help. Go to your therapist, take your medicine, turn to your support team, or build one, and do coping techniques. I go to the doctor when I need to, and if I don’t, my husband makes sure I do. My husband never lets me work when I’m sick, and when I struggle with my mental illness, I have coping techniques and a wonderful support team.
  • Get plenty of sleep. If you’re having trouble sleeping, talk to your psychiatrist for medications that can help you. Pick a set time at night to go to bed. Shut off your TV, social media, and phone. If you struggle with anxiety or racing thoughts, find a relaxation technique to try like deep breathing, listening to relaxing music, or muscle relaxation. I like to imagine myself lying on a beach with water coming up around me and I do deep breathing.
  • Take care of your basic needs. If you’re really struggling, you might not get out of bed, take a shower, comb your hair, or take care of your hygiene. Make a plan to get out of bed and sit in the living room, or get up and take a shower, or comb your hair, and brush your teeth. Taking care of these needs is important in self-care. When I was at my worst, I neglected to shower regularly, and I felt filthy. When I took a shower I felt refreshed.
  • Take time to socialize. Spend some time with people you care about. If your anxiety keeps you from going to places or events that involve a lot of people, then ask a friend to hang out with just you. Sitting alone at home leaves the mind to wander and makes you feel lonely. Go out and have some fun. You deserve to have a good time. When I’m home alone my mind wanders and I feel more depressed. My husband and I like to go out to dinner, to events, and the movies. Sometimes I go to dinner with friends at another friend’s house.
  • Take some time to be alone. If you live with other people and you get overwhelmed with things going on with them take some time to be alone. Take a walk, go to your room, sit out on the porch, or find a place you can go to be by yourself. Sometimes you just need a break from the people in your life, and that is okay. Take time to be alone and de-stress. My alone time is at night when my husband goes to bed. It’s when I write, when I journal, and when I snuggle with my dog. It gives me time to focus just on myself and my own needs.

These are only a few things you can do to take care of yourself. You are important and you owe it to your physical and mental health to practice self-care. Your mental health is connected to your physical health. If you don’t take care of both, you will not only struggle with mental illness, but also physical illness.  Taking care of the body and mind will help make you stronger to reach or stay in recovery.

I make self-care an important part of my life, and because I do I dance in the light of recovery.