Author: Aimee Eddy

FOCUSING ON THE POSITIVES OF 2025

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When we get close to the end of the year many of us say, “I’m ready for this year to end. It was a bad year.”

We often focus on all the bad things that happened in the year, forgetting there were also good things. It’s easy to think about everything that went wrong in the year so that we can hope that a new year will be better. But it shouldn’t be the negatives of the past year that carry us into a new year. It should be the positives that build bridges for an even better year.

I can easily go through a list of things that went wrong in 2025. It was a rough year with my loved one being diagnosed with dementia and diabetes. I could easily talk about everything that went wrong in the past year, but it serves no purpose. Instead, I will list the positive things that happened in 2025.

Below is my list of positives:

  • I received an award from the president of the United States; I received a proclamation from Buffalo, NY’s mayor, declaring February 21 “Aimee Eddy Day” and I also received other awards for my work for One Life Project.
  • I had cataract surgery on both of my eyes, giving me new vision. I can see without glasses. I just need reading glasses.
  • My husband and I have taken many rides around Erie’s Peninsula. We enjoyed the scenery and time together.
  • My husband retired and I no longer must take the bus to work.
  • I threw a surprise retirement party for my husband and he was shocked. He loved the party.
  • We spent a romantic night in a hotel for our wedding anniversary.
  • I celebrated thirty years at my job with a dinner at Acrisure Stadium and a tour of the stadium.
  • I found a therapist that I really like who is helping me through my loved one’s dementia.
  • I got to see my niece and her family whom I haven’t seen in a few years.
  • I got Thanksgiving week off from work which I haven’t had off in thirty years.

I must admit I had to really think hard about the positives of last year. The bad things that happened weigh me down, but coming up with this list lessened my burdens. It made me realize that last year wasn’t so bad after all. I’m not throwing away a bad year; instead I’m using the positives of 2025 to build a positive bridge into 2026.

I know with mental illness it’s easy to just see the negatives in your life, but there are positives. To you 2025 was a bad year and you don’t see any hope for 2026. Try sitting down with a sheet of paper and reflecting on the past year. Think about the good things that happened like a friend who called to check on you, or after several days in bed you got out of bed. There are positives in your life and if you think hard, you’ll find them. Look at 2026 as a year with hope and new beginnings.

Going into the 2026 with hopes for a good year helps me stay in the light of recovery.

CAREGIVING AND MENTAL HEALTH

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Mental illness is a rough disease, and even in recovery you must spend each day managing it. When you throw extra challenges in your life, like dealing with a loved one (LO) with dementia, staying in recovery becomes a bigger challenge. You no longer are just taking care of your illness; you are also taking care of someone else’s illness. This makes staying in the light even harder.

My loved one is in the early stages of dementia. He’s independent to a point. He is still able to stay home while I work, and he can help me with some stuff around the house, but he still needs my help with a lot of things. I take care of his medication, make his lunches before work, and leave reminders on Alexa for him to eat it. I also remind him to take care of his hygiene, I manage his diet for diabetes, I keep track of his appointments, and I also remind him about small stuff too. I also have to handle changes in his mood like arguing and anger outbursts.

He’s young, only in his sixties, and I’m only fifty-one. It’s so unfair that he has this illness at such a young age. We should have many more years to make memories, but we don’t. We must make every moment count now. I’m sad, angry, and frustrated. Some days I want to lie in bed and cry. I wish I had a magical wand to take this illness from him. He gets so frustrated when he can’t remember things and it breaks my heart.

So much has been taken away from him because of dementia that it feels like he’s losing everything. He can no longer work, he can’t drive, and his memory is fading. At times I’m the bad guy because I must tell him repeatedly, he can’t drive, he can’t work, he forgot to shower, and much more. He gets mad at me, and I try not to take it personally, but it hurts.

Dealing with my LO’s illness is very emotional and threatens to throw me back down the hole of depression, but I can’t let it. When my LO was diagnosed with diabetes I got

depressed. I knew I was going to have to manage it and make sure he follows a healthy diet on top of managing his dementia. All day at work I felt like crying, I was very sad, and just wanted to hide. When I got out of work, I told my LO I was sick and went to our room. I lay in bed crying until I fell asleep. I teetered on the edge of that dark hole.

I realized I need to take care of my mental illness while taking care of my LO. I used a program through work to help me find a therapist. I’m not in a depression, but I needed someone to confide in and to talk about my feelings to to stay in recovery. I found a therapist who understands what I’m going through and she is very good. I told my psychiatrist about my LO so he can keep track of how I’m doing. I confided in my support team. I also joined mental health and dementia support groups online.

All caregivers must take care of themselves as well as their loved ones, but it’s extra work to take care of your mental illness on top of caregiving and to stay in recovery. I find it hard to manage my medication on top of my LO’s, but I know it’s important. It’s also important to use coping techniques like journaling, relaxation techniques, finding positives, and grounding techniques. It’s okay to need a break from your LO too. Self-care is also important. Take time for yourself like having someone stay with your LO while you go out for a while, take a relaxing bath, eat healthy, exercise, take care of your hygiene, and find time for your hobbies.

Caring for yourself and your mental health is as important as taking care of your LO. I make my illness as much of a priority as my LO is. This helps me stay in the light of recovery.

A GIFT FROM THE HEART

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Christmas, a season of giving

In the bustle of the holiday

A gift is precious

Not one that costs money

One given from the heart

A kind word to a stranger

A dinner invite to one who is alone

A hug of warmth to a sad person

Listening ears to a burden soul

A smile lifts spirits

Christmas is not about what money could buy

It’s about gifts from the heart

Like God’s gift of his Son

A gift from his heart

Merry Christmas.

NEW EYES AND A NEW LOOK AT LIFE

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I had my second cataract surgery on my right eye on Monday, December 8. The surgery went well without any complications. It was strange; I could hear the doctor and nurses talking and I felt pressure on my eye, but no pain. I wasn’t awake, but I wasn’t completely asleep either. The doctor put a patch on my right eye, and when the nurse took it off the next day the world around me changed.

I got my first pair of glasses in fourth grade. I tried not to wear them as much as possible, but that made seeing difficult. As the years went by, the lenses got thicker. They grew heavier and I had to constantly push them up. I tried to get thin frames, hoping it would make the glasses less heavy, but it didn’t help much. I became accustomed to my bulky glasses. They became a part of me. Every morning, I put them on, all day long I pushed them up, and every night I took them off. It was a routine.

Mental illness is like wearing glasses. We don’t want to admit we have it, so we avoid it as much as possible. Then the racing thoughts, negative thinking, hopelessness, and loss of self esteem grow thicker and thicker. We become accustomed to it and begin to live our lives in darkness. We believe the mental illness has become a part of us. We wake up to it, we drown in it all day long, and we go to bed with it.

With my eyes, cataracts made seeing extremely difficlt. I used a bright light and a magnifying glass to see better. When I went through cataract surgery on my left eye, things started to look brighter. Then I went through cataract surgery on my right eye and when they took the patch off, I could see everything better. I could see a brighter and better world. I was amazed at what I could see without glasses. It was like I got new eyes.

 Some things remain hard to see like words in a book and the guide on the TV. I got a pair of readers but will eventually need prescription glasses to see words on the TV and signs in the distance while driving.

Similar to cataracts, mental illness makes life look like a never-ending road of sadness. You use a therapist, medication, coping techniques, and a psychiatrist to help you find your way to the light. You fight a battle with your illness and in time life begins to look brighter. You take medication to balance the chemicals in your brain, and you change the way you think. Then you climb out of the dark hole and see a brighter and better life. But you still need medication and coping techniques to continue in the light of recovery.

Getting surgery for cataracts gave me a new look at the world, like reaching recovery gave me a new look at life. Since my vision was bad, cataract surgery couldn’t repair my vision completely. Recovery from mental illness doesn’t cure a person completely. There is nothing wrong with having extra aid to get through. I can’t see without glasses to read, and I can’t stay in recovery without coping techniques and medication. Cataract surgery wasn’t a complete cure for my vision, and recovery doesn’t mean I’m cured of mental illness.

There may not be a cure for mental illness, and you will need coping techniques to get through bad days, but your world will look brighter. Just like my world looks brighter after my cataract surgeries. You can live a happy life and find joy. So, I encourage you to fight for recovery and learn to see your life differently.

I not only see the world differently because of cataract surgery, but I see life differently because I stand in the light of recovery.

RECOVERY FROM CATARACT SURGERY

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I survived my first cataract surgery. It was pretty easy
compared to other surgeries I have been through. I think the
best part was relaxing the week of Thanksgiving. For each of my
nine other surgeries I found different ways to cope with my
recovery, and with this one I also found a way to cope.


The Sunday before my surgery my husband and I spent the
night at my parents’ house so they could drive me to the surgery
center. We enjoyed spending time with my parents.
At the surgery center the nurse put the needle in for an IV
and then hooked up the IV line. The IV line had a leak in it and
blood started dripping down my hand. The nurse called another
nurse in. One nurse held the needle in my hand while the other
tried to unhook the line. It pulled on the needle, and it hurt.
After several tries and lots of blood, they were able to unhook
the line and put a new one in. Afterwards they had to clean me
up and get me a new blanket.


I heard the doctors talk throughout my surgery, but I
couldn’t understand what they were saying. Before I knew it,
they were taking me to the recovery room and my left eye and
face were numb. I had a patch over my eye, and everything looked
blurry with my other eye. When I got home, I took a long nap.

That night I just listened to the TV. I couldn’t see out
of my patched eye, and I couldn’t see well with my other one.
The patch was so big I couldn’t fit the mask of my CPAP machine
over it, but luckily I was drowsy enough to fall asleep easily
that night.


I got the patch off the next day, thank God. I had to go to
the eye doctor to get the left lens popped out of my glasses. I
no longer needed a lens for my left eye. With one eye recovering
from surgery and one eye still having a cataract I was very
unbalanced. With the surgery eye everything looked brighter and
clearer than the right eye. It didn’t take much for me to get
dizzy.


With my other surgeries I coped by doing woodburnings,
adult coloring books, and writing. With my uneven vision I can’t
color or woodburn. I haven’t done any writing until now. I have
been coping by watching Netflix, talking to my support team,
spending time with my husband, and enjoying the week off.

We spent Thanksgiving at my parents’ house. When I tried to
pour a drink into my glass, it ended up on the table. I tried
again and my poor dad got a lap full of apple cider. My husband
told me that I am no longer allowed to pour drinks.
My spirits have been good. It’s been a long time since I
have been able to enjoy having Thanksgiving week off. I can’t

wait until December 8 to have my right eye done. I’m ready for
balanced vision and to be able to see well without glasses.
I’m standing in the light of recovery being able to see the
light better.

FIRST THANKSGIVING WEEK OFF IN THIRTY YEARS

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When you work in retail, holidays can be really hard. Thanksgiving week in a grocery store means a mad rush of last-minute shoppers. It takes a lot out of retail workers. Despite everything, the workers must put on a smile. It’s not easy.

For thirty years I have worked Thanksgiving week, for a couple years in the bakery and for many years as a cashier. In the bakery there were endless orders of pies, breads, and rolls. As a cashier it’s lines of people, lifting frozen turkeys, grumpy customers, and large cart loads of groceries. The customers tell you at least time will go by fast and it does, but it wears you out. My anxiety is high during the holidays. I try to work fast to get customers out, all the while having sore shoulders, an achy back, and a tired body. The never-ending lines make me want to hide, but I put on a smile and I talk with my customers.

I can’t tell you how many customers come in on the last day and buy a frozen turkey, expecting it to be thawed by the next day. Many customers wait until the very last minute to buy the fixings for their Thanksgiving dinner. They are in such a rush to get everything done that they become grumpy and they take it out on the retail workers. I love being a cashier and working with people, but I hate working the holidays.

This year will be the first time in thirty years I will have Thanksgiving week off. Monday was my cataract surgery on my left eye, and I took Sunday off to spend the night at my parents so they could drive me to my surgery. My co-workers asked me if I was nervous or scared, but I’m not. I have had a lot more major surgeries than this one. Having surgery just means I get to spend Thanksgiving week relaxing and without anxiety attacks. I’m more than willing to let my husband wait on me.

A couple of friends are providing us with some suppers while I’m recovering so I won’t have to worry about cooking. Thanksgiving leftovers will help with some meals also. My body gets to have a break from work. I will be able to write my newsletter and get Christmas cards ready to send out. I can also get a start on Christmas movies while I’m off. I had the lens popped out of my glasses for the left eye so I could see. I’m able to see well right after they took the patch off my left eye the day after surgery.

Even though it’s because of surgery I’ll be off for Thanksgiving week, I’m excited. I not able to bend or lift, but that just gives me an excuse to sit around in my PJs and be lazy. Who can say no to PJ days? I sure don’t get many of them while I’m working. I work, then after work I take my husband for rides, and my days off are appointments. That doesn’t leave much time to just be lazy. Now I have an excuse.

This Thanksgiving week  you also can slow down and be grateful for the gifts of this holiday. Enjoy a good meal provided by God, enjoy family and friends, and be thankful for all the wonderful things you have. Don’t forget to have a PJ day or two.

This Thanksgiving I’m thankful for a week off and for surgeons who can give me the gift of better sight. I will have a new look at life soon. This Thanksgiving I will be relaxing in the light of recovery.

CATARACT SURGERY

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Surgeries are a hard part of life. No one likes them and they bring lots of anxiety and fear. Going under anesthesia is scary. There’s always the fear that you might not wake up, or something may go wrong while you’re unconscious. Then there is the fear of being cut open. All of these brings on anxiety. Are there any surgeries a person could be excited about?

My first surgery was when I was four years old. I had my tonsils removed. Back then they kept you in the hospital overnight. I remember being scared and a nurse cradling me. I loved going home and eating popsicles and ice cream. My eight other surgeries happened when I was an adult. I became nervous and anxious with each one. I think the worst surgery was back surgery. I couldn’t bend, twist, or lift anything for three weeks. Plus, I got an infection in my surgery site.

The second worst surgery was a double mastectomy. I had drains so I couldn’t lift my arms without pain, and I had to learn to love myself as a woman without breasts.

Before each of my surgeries I dreaded them and I worried about them. Fears plagued my mind and that caused anxiety. During a couple of my surgeries, I stopped breathing and they had to give me oxygen. That made going under anesthesia even more scary. Later I learned I stopped breathing because I have sleep apnea. I learned that the easy part of my surgeries was sleeping through them. The hard part was recovery. Recovery involved restrictions, some infections, pain, fatigue, and boredom. It took a lot out of me to recover from my surgeries.

November 24 I am going to have cataract surgery on my left eye, and on December 8 I will have it done on my right eye. Instead of fear and anxiety, I am excited. I will be mildly sedated, and I’m not too worried that I will stop breathing. The surgery is minor. I have been wearing glasses since the fourth grade. Over the years my lenses have gotten thicker, making the glasses uncomfortable. With this surgery I will no longer have to wear glasses all the time. I will only need them for reading. This is the best part of the surgery. I’m so excited I bought a strap at Dollar Tree to carry my future reading glasses around my neck.

When I went to my pre-op appointment, the lady who scheduled my surgery said, “You only need to take two days off, but you can’t bend or lift heavy items for a week.”

I looked at her. “I’m a cashier.”

She looked at me. “Two days should be good.”

“I lift heavy cases of pop, dog food and groceries. I bend to scan things and to put things under the cart,” I replied.

“Ah, then you need to take a week off work,” she said.

The good thing is it’s the week of Thanksgiving that I will be off. I won’t have to worry about the last-minute frozen turkeys and the rush of customers to get their dinner fixings. Instead of dealing with the stress of long lines, I will be relaxing at home.

When I told the assistant team leader about needing the week off because I can’t lift heavy items or bend, she said, “Why can’t you bend? Will your eye fall out?”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

Instead of dealing with anxiety and fear of my cataract surgery, I am excited. I can’t wait to see without glasses except for when I read. It’s a dream come true. I won’t have to worry about smudged, fogged up, and wet glasses. I won’t have to push them up my nose all day long. I can’t wait. Being able to see better is a double plus.

Not all surgeries are bad ones. Some bring promises of a new look at the world around you or the ability to do things you’ve never done before. If you’re feeling anxious about your surgery, use coping techniques like journaling, grounding, and relaxation techniques to get you through. You can also cope with recovery by doing crafts, coloring in adult coloring books, watching movies, and turning to your support team.

Seeing the positive side of my cataract surgery helps me gleam in the light of recovery.

MISCONCEPTIONS AND DEMENTIA

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Dementia is an awful disease. It robs people of their memory, of themselves, and of their independence. It affects not only the person who has it, but also the people who love him or her. It is a hard illness for a caregiver to deal with, and it is devastating for the one with the illness. Like with any illness, it comes with well-meant intentions and misconceptions of others.

I have a loved one who was diagnosed with dementia. His illness has taken me on an emotional roller coaster. I have turned to friends and my therapist for support. I have found that a lot of people understand, and some don’t. It angers me when people joke about it or have misconceptions about this illness. I want my loved one to be taken seriously and to be treated like a person with feelings, but sometimes that doesn’t happen.

I told a customer of mine that my loved one had dementia, and his reply was, “I’m a little demented too.”

I found his joke insulting. Dementia is not a joke and should be taken seriously. I wanted to yell at him for his comment, but since he was a customer, I just smiled.

I’ve gone to public places and have seen people my loved one and I know. They say hi to me, but not a word to him. I found it odd. Later the people who ignored him told me they didn’t know if he remembered them, so they avoided him. First, my loved one is in the early stages and still remembers people. Second, even if he had forgotten them, he shouldn’t be ignored. He has feelings and can still get hurt. Even if you must reintroduce yourself, you should still acknowledge the person with dementia. It angers me when they ignore him. He’s already feeling bad about having this illness, and now people are avoiding him.

Some people say to me, “He seems fine to me.”

He may seem fine in public or when he’s around people for a little bit, but they aren’t around him enough to see his struggles. I see his frustration when he can’t remember something he told me a minute ago. I must set him reminders on Alexa and yet sometimes he still forgets. I tell him the same things over and over again. I remind him to do simple things like when to eat, when to take a shower, when to put deodorant on, and when to take medicine. He may seem fine to the public eye, but he’s struggling behind closed doors.

Some people told me, “I forget things too because of old age.”

 Memory loss because of old age and forgetfulness are totally different than dementia. I’m a very forgetful person. I write lists and then forget where I put them. Dementia is much more than forgetting a list. It’s forgetting how to get to a place you’ve been to most of your life. It’s forgetting the same thing continuously. I have told my loved one ten times within minutes what time I get out of work for him to forget again. Not only is his memory fading, but a part of him is also fading. Parts of his personality are changing and it’s only going to get worse the further his illness progresses. I just pray he’ll never forget me, but it is a possibility.

I’m working hard to dispel the misconceptions of dementia and to be there at my loved one’s side. On the positive side, I have people who have put my loved one on their prayer chains at church. I have had people share their experiences and give me some excellent advice.

What a person with dementia needs is kindness, love, understanding, and patience. What a caregiver needs are love, support, and understanding. The caregiver goes through this illness with their loved one. They are feeling a lot of emotions, taking on a lot of responsibility, and pushing through each day. Put your misconceptions aside and listen, offer to make a meal for the caregiver, offer to sit with the caregiver’s loved one, offer to help with doing dishes or some other chore, and be willing to listen and give moral support. For the one struggling, don’t ignore them, spend some time with him or her, be patient, give hugs, and be willing to listen. To find out more on how to connect with someone with dementia read Dementia: Keys to Connecting and Caring for Your Loved One: Wert, Beverly J: 9798270166731: Amazon.com: Books.

I stand at my loved one’s side, supporting him, defending him, loving him, and being patient. Making each day special and taking care of myself helps me sit in the light of recovery.

LET’S TALK ABOUT MENTAL ILLNESS

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We talk openly about cancer, diabetes, heart disease, eye diseases, and many others. We never judge people with physical illnesses. We know people have no control over these sicknesses, but it’s different with mental illness. Mental illness is not talked about as openly as physical illnesses. Many times when it’s discussed, it is met with judgment and stigma. Because of this many people do not understand mental illness and those who have it hide it fearing they will be judged.

When you have diabetes, you take medicine to maintain it, you change your diet, and each day you take care of yourself to keep this illness under control. Mental illness is not much different. With mental illness you take medicine to control the symptoms, you go to therapy to learn how to manage your illness, and you take care of yourself with coping techniques to keep your illness under control. Like diabetes you have a plan of action and care. Mental illness is like any other illness, yet the sickness is treated differently.

When I was a child and teen, mental illness wasn’t talked about. I didn’t know what it was or that I had it. I just knew something was wrong with me. I didn’t find out about mental illness until I found a pamphlet about depression at college. Even when I learned more about mental illness, I was afraid to tell people that I struggled with it. I’ve heard people talk about people with mental illness as being crazy, and I’ve seen TV shows that made fun of the illness. I didn’t want to be judged, so I put on a smile when I was out in public and fell apart when I was at home.

As an adult, I was hospitalized for my illness. After I was released, I returned to work only to be met by stigma and judgment. A co-worker asked me if I was in the looney bin. When I returned to my job, I worked in the bakery department. Every time I got a simple cut, they asked me if I did it myself. When I got upset at work, I had a box cutter in my hand, and the bakery manager assumed I hurt myself with it. I was forced to sit in an office to talk to crisis, a program that helps people who are really struggling, when I didn’t need to. Later the store manager said that managers could treat me as they needed to because I was a danger to employees and customers. If I’d had problems with any other illness, I would not have endured such judgment.

We judge mental illness because it’s a sickness of the mind. It’s hard to understand when the mind doesn’t function properly, but if we talk about mental illness more frequently and openly, then we can break the stigma. To talk about this sickness, we must also educate society. That’s why I write this blog post and work for One Life Project. I want people to see that mental illness is like any other illness, and we should put an end to the stigma.

If you struggle with mental illness, talk about it with your friends, family, and co-workers. Give them information about your illness or invite them to a therapy session. When I was dating my husband, he went to therapy with me to learn about my illness and how to help me. Let’s push schools and workplaces to talk frequently about mental illness. We need to stop judging mental illness and see it as equal to physical illness.

Many people are struggling in silence with mental illness because they are afraid if they tell someone, they will be judged. If we talk about mental illness without stigma, then more strugglers will ask for the help they need, and we can save many lives. I urge you to stop judging and start speaking out about mental illness.

I work hard to fight the stigma that surrounds mental illness so that some day we can talk about it as openly as we do any other illness. I now openly talk with others about my sickness, and this helps shine a light on my path of recovery.