Author: Aimee Eddy

WINTER BLUES

Published on by Aimee Eddy3 Comments

This winter has been hard on everyone, even those in the south. Everyone is done with the snow, cold temperatures, and gloomy days especially those with seasonal depression and mental illness. It’s hard to see past long days, shoveling snow, and bitter cold. Even people without mental health problems are struggling. We have had mild winters for a few years and gotten spoiled. How do we look past the gloom of winter?

When I was a kid, I used to play outside until my hands were numb and I couldn’t feel my face. We built snowmen, made snow angels, and went sledding. Winter was fun. Now as an adult I wonder how I ever I liked winter. Now there is shoveling, scraping ice off windshield, layers of clothing, boots, and dark at five PM. I go to work while it’s gray and return home when it’s dark out. My spirits take a dip.

This winter has especially been hard. Right after Thanksgiving, we were buried with five feet of snow. Everyone was digging themselves out and many couldn’t leave their homes. Then last week we got an arctic blast with below zero temperatures. Plus, it just keeps snowing. I hear my customers complain about the winter each day and say they can’t wait until spring. I even feel the winter blues. I want to leave the house without a coat and gloves. I long to wear shorts and tank tops. I can’t wait until days stay light until nine and I feel more energetic after work. How do we cope with the winter blues?

For me the best way of dealing with the blues is looking for something positive about winter. Below are five positives I found about winter.

  • When the snow is new, it’s pretty. When we get a fresh coat of snow, it’s pure white and glitters when the sun peeks out. Staring out at it from inside with a cup of hot chocolate is peaceful.
  • Snow is better than other natural disasters. With snow we still have our warm homes and belongings to go back to. In some parts of the world people are losing everything to tornadoes, hurricanes and fires. We are lucky to have just snow.
  • A snow day is a good time to spend the day in pj’s. On bad days, when you can’t get out of the house, it’s a good time to wear your pj’s all day and binge on Netflix or movies.
  • Winter is a good time for hot comfort foods. This time of year is perfect for chili, homemade soups, and baked goods. Who doesn’t like chili or soup on a cold day? Baking helps warm up the house and smells good.
  • It’s never too cold for ice cream. The best part of eating ice cream in the winter is being able to keep warm while eating it. It could be negative ten degrees out and you can sit in your warm home snuggled up in blankets and eat a bowl of ice cream.

Can you come up with your own positives about winter? Sit down with a journal or piece of paper and list five things you think are positive about this time of year. Write five positives each day. Remember while you are struggling with the winter blues to take care of yourself. If you are dealing with seasonal depression and other mental illnesses, remember to use coping techniques, take your medication, and talk with a therapist when needed. I use my coping techniques, journaling my positives, and my support system to get through this tough winter. Finding the positives helps me dance in the

ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

This week I’m posting an old post because I have been struggling with a sinus infection. I hope to write a new post next week.

Last week I wrote about the cognitive distortion called catastrophizing, and this week I would like to write about another many struggle with, including me. It’s called All-Or-Nothing Thinking. It is seeing your personal qualities such as your success or mistakes in black and white. Like if a student in school got two questions on a test wrong, that student would automatically see himself or herself as a failure. The student wouldn’t be able to celebrate his or her got a passing grade. Instead, the person would only see the situation in extreme black and white or in a negative viewpoint.

I developed all-or-nothing thinking in high school. In school I became obsessed with passing and proving to everyone I wasn’t stupid. I pushed myself to succeed at all costs. I spent hours finding ways around my learning disability to study for tests. I had a hard time remembering what I read, I was a slow reader, and I couldn’t keep up with the notes in class. So, I had to make notes from my textbook and put them on index cards. I read them over and over for hours to remember them. I had to pass all my classes no matter what. A low grade was unacceptable to me.

If I didn’t get an A on a test, I saw myself as a failure. I pushed myself hard. I gave up time with my family and had fits of anger when I couldn’t remember things well enough. If I didn’t pass with high grades, then everyone would be right about me. I would be the stupid, loser they all said I was.

This type of thinking followed me into my adult years. I had my future planned when I started college. I was going attend a two-year college to get a degree in journalism, then go on to a four-year college and become a journalist. College was much harder than I thought. Because of my disability, I couldn’t meet the requirements for a journalism degree and instead I got a humanities degree. Then mental illness and my disability made completing college difficult. It took me four years to graduate from a two-year college. My plans were destroyed.

For years I viewed myself as a failure for not being able to go on to a four-year college. I became a cashier, not a journalist. I was a worthless loser who proved that I was good for nothing. I didn’t succeed at my dreams. I let myself down. I dwelled on what I didn’t accomplish instead of what I did succeed at.

For years and even now I tell people I have a journalism degree when I have a humanities degree. I’m ashamed of myself for not getting the degree I wanted. A humanities degree is a basic degree that doesn’t really amount to much. I wasn’t good enough to get a journalism degree. I failed. I was and am a looser. I can’t admit to peoples’ faces that I am a worthless failure. If I tell people the truth, they will look down on me like they did in school. I’m just a cashier not a journalist like I planned.

Repeatedly I tell people I have a journalism degree and I am working as a cashier because I couldn’t get a job as a journalist. I couldn’t see past what I couldn’t do to what I have done. Right now, while I write this, I see myself in another light. For so long I have viewed my life as black and white, but now there is color in my life.

I didn’t fail when I got a humanities degree and became a cashier. I worked around my learning disability to be a cashier, I have written a book, I have a small woodburning business, and I have kept the same job for 26 years despite many illnesses. I didn’t get the degree I wanted, but I continued to pursue my writing. I didn’t go on to a four-year college, but I have touched many lives as a cashier. I have customers who have been coming to me for years. I advocate against bullying and for mental illness awareness through my writing. For so long I felt I had failed when I have succeeded.

It’s so easy to strive for perfection and when you don’t quite make it you look at yourself as a failure. It’s hard to see the small things we do in our lives as successes. We want to be on top, but often the best we have done is distorted into all-or-nothing thinking. We fail to see and celebrate the small accomplishments we make in our life. Instead, we see ourselves as losers when we are winners. All-or-nothing thinking clouds our minds and keeps us from celebrating the positive.

When you think you have failed or are a loser, take another look at the situation. Even though you didn’t get that promotion, look at how far you have come to get to where you are now, and celebrate that. Look for the positive. Write it down and celebrate it. Rejoice that you got a B on a test instead of seeing yourself as a failure. Be proud of that speech you gave, even though you stumbled over a few words. Stand with pride for the job you are working even though it’s not the one you wanted.

I’m standing in the light of recovery admitting I have a humanities degree and rejoicing in the success I am today.

BULLYING WARNING SIGNS

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Bullying is a big problem affecting people all around us, especially our children. Children are acting out violently, going into depression, and are even taking their lives because they are abused daily at school by their peers. Many children feel alone and unable to turn to others for help. They often struggle in silence. If you’re a parent or family member, it’s important to know the warning signs of bullying.

Below is a list I found on StopBullying.gov  of the warning signs for the adults in a child’s life to look out for. You know that old saying, “It takes a village to raise a child,” is true. Not only do the parents of children need to look out for the warning signs, but so do the other adults in their lives like aunts, uncles, grandparents, family friends, and so on.

Here is the list:

  • Lost or destroyed belongings such as electronics, clothing, jewelry, and others
  • Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares
  • Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork or not wanting to go to school
  • Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social activities
  • Feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, or decreased self-esteem
  • Self-destructive behaviors such as running away, self-harm, or talking about suicide

If you notice any of these signs in your children or children in your life, find them help. Talk to their teachers, guidance counselor, or principal, and if none of them listen to you, go to the school board. It’s important to encourage your children to talk to you, be willing to listen, and look into getting therapy for them. If you can’t afford a therapist, there are government funded programs that will get you help for a low price or for free.

When I was being bullied, the biggest mistake I made was to keep what was happening to myself. I suffered in silence and it led me down a dark road. If you’re being bullied, talk to someone you trust such as a parent, a family member, a teacher, a guidance counselor, or other trusted adult. You can’t rise above bullying without help. Don’t suffer alone.

It’s important that we all spread the message that bullying is a form of abuse and it needs to stop. Since my book, Escape to the Garage: Family Love Overcomes Bullying, has been published, it has been my goal to speak up for those who can’t speak up for themselves. Spreading my message is helping me stand strong in the light of recovery.

REFLECTING ON THE GOOD IN 2024

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Now that 2024 is over, we can look over the past year and reflect on it. For some it was a good year, bringing success, new beginnings, and happy memories. For others it was a hard year with rough times, heart aches, and loss. When we look back at a year that we struggled through, we often forget about the positive things that happened in that year. It’s easy to dwell on the bad.

2024 was a hard year for my husband and me and for my family. It started out with my husband being partially laid off while his workplace did some remodeling. Then my dad was diagnosed with bone cancer. Next, once the remodeling was done at my husband’s workplace, was getting his hours back, but he hurt his back and had to take time off. Once his back was better, we thought everything was going to be good, but then my husband started having dizzy spells. In the process of trying to find out what was wrong, we learned he had bronchitis and a urinary tract infection. We eventually found out he had vertigo.

Then my dad was hospitalized and on a ventilator with renal and heart failure. Next, my husband’s job cut him down to two days a week and then permanently laid him off. He got another job, but after nine days they also laid him off. On top of all that, unemployment claimed he was working when he wasn’t, and they stopped his payments while they reviewed his case. Finally, I got a nasty cold and was miserable on New Years Eve and Day.

In 2024 it seemed like the world was against us. Everything was going wrong. I’ve spent hours helping my husband apply for jobs with no luck. It felt like my worst fears were happening. Everything was falling apart, and holding on to our home and paying our bills seemed impossible. I feared we would lose our home. I kept telling my husband, “I’ll live in a cardboard box as long as I’m with you.”

I also thought I was going to lose my dad and that was unbearable. I spent hours at the hospital visiting my dad, telling him to fight, and asking everyone I could think of to pray for him. My younger siblings came to town, and we bonded together to hold each other up.

It’s so easy to say that 2024 was an awful year and to overlook the good things that happened. My dad pulled through and worked hard to get back on his feet. He went back to doing home repairs, working in the grape vineyards, and flying his airplane. My dad is a walking miracle.

Also, in 2024 my great nephew, Rex, was born and he is an adorable little fellow. We visited him and his family, and I enjoyed holding the little guy.

In April my husband and I used some of our tax refunds to take a week-long trip to my best friend’s home. Cheryl had moved to the town where my husband grew up, and he enjoyed showing Cheryl and her boyfriend around. I introduced Cheryl to my good friend Terri, and the three of us had a fun lunch together. My husband and I had lunch with some of his family, and we had dinner with his sister and her family. We enjoyed our trip.

The CEO of One Life Project promoted me from Executive President’s Assistant to Executive President of Educational Outreach and Advocacy. I have been learning to move out of the background to become a leader. With One Life my husband and I traveled to Harrisburg and Hershey for events. Through One Life I have found myself trying and learning new things, stepping out of my comfort zone.

As of 2024 I am cancer free for six years and no longer must go to the cancer center every six months. I graduated to once a year. Friends and family have helped us out in many ways during our struggles.

Lou and I have had some fun times together creating new memories. We celebrated seventeen years with a nice dinner out. Our struggles have brought us even closer and have shown me I can take care of him as well as he takes care of me.

After reflecting on last year, I can see that despite the struggles and heartaches, there were many good things. This helps put a different perspective on 2024. The year wasn’t just an awful year; it was also good. I’m hoping that in 2025 there will be more positive than negative things happening in my life. It’s starting out rough with no unemployment to pay our bills, but I believe that things can only get better.

If you had a bad 2024, look back at that year and list the positive things that happened. Then reflect on the positive and let the bad things that happened stay in the past. Look at 2025 with hopes for a happy, healthy, and successful year. Things can always get better and there is always good despite the bad times. This might be the year you reach recovery and start a new beginning.

Despite the rough start to the new year, I believe it will get better. God has a plan to provide for us and because I believe this, I stand in the light being held by God’s mighty hands.

Happy New Year.

I’M SICK

Published on by Aimee Eddy7 Comments

I didn’t write a blog post because I’m struggling with a nasty cold. I feel yucky. What a way to end 2024. This year has been a bad year for us, but we have hopes for a better year in 2025. On top of a cold I burned my arm on Christmas Day. On the positive side I had a very good Christmas with my parents and husband. Now I have the next three days off to recover from my cold.

Happy New Year to all of you and may it be a healthy and happy one

CHRISTMAS JOY

Published on by Aimee Eddy3 Comments

A holiday, especially at Christmas, can be a very hard time for people. There are the stresses of buying gifts, preparing a meal, family get-togethers, and family drama. Some people are struggling with grief, mental illness, and loneliness. All these can make Christmas seem unbearable. How do you make it through the holidays if you’re struggling with these things? Do you lie in bed and ignore the holidays?

I used to find the holidays unbearable. I had loving parents and grandparents, but I felt alone. I was struggling with depression and didn’t know it. While everyone was excited about Christmas, I was dying inside. Everything seemed dark and hopeless. I couldn’t find the Christmas spirit. Instead of smiling and laughing with my siblings, I was grumpy and easily got mad or irritated. I’d lash out in anger when someone was just joking with me. I was a miserable person to be around. My parents couldn’t understand why I hated holidays. I even felt like I was alone among family at my grandparents. I wanted to hide from everyone.

When I got older and started going to therapy, I learned to cope with the holidays. I learned to find the positive side to holidays. I learned Christmas isn’t about the material gifts, but gifts from the heart. As a teen I woodburned gifts for my parents and grandparents. Even now that I’m an adult I woodburn gifts for friends and family. If I feel alone among family, I find one person I can confide in and talk to. When I feel hopeless, I list the things I’m grateful for. When I feel depressed, I journal out my feelings or turn to my support system.

This year I have been teetering on the edge of the hole of depression. 2024 has been rough and we have been struggling financially. I’ve been trying to help my husband find a job. I keep myself busy by wooodburing gifts, I‘ve been leaning on my support system and listing the positive things in my life. Unemployment claims my husband is working when he’s actually not and has paused his unemployment benefits until further review. We are pinching pennies, and everything seems hopeless but it’s not. Many positive things have happened: My parents help us when they can; a co-worker is gave us half a ham and we got a lot of food from the food bank. We even had some extra canned foods to give to an elderly lady in our neighborhood. We also received a check from one of my customers, and we used it to get each other a few gifts. We’re also blessed to have have a warm home.

I love it when my husband spoils me with gifts and I love to spoil him too, but we can’t do much of that this year. Christmas isn’t about celebrating with family, buying gifts, or eating big meals. Christmas is about the gift God gave us, his Son. We don’t need money to celebrate Jesus’s birthday. We just need to have the Holy Spirit in our hearts and love of Jesus and God in our souls. Money can’t buy that. If you have those then you don’t need family, gifts or food to enjoy Christmas.

You can share the love of God by smiling, saying a kind word, giving a hug, or dressing for the season. I dress up in holiday shirts and hats at work. I have one hat with Santa’s feet at the top like Santa got caught in a chimney on my head. It puts a smile on my customers’ faces, some giggle and it eases the stress of holiday shopping. I smile with the love of God in me and my customers love that. When you give a gift from the heart, then you are giving the true gift of Christmas. God gave us the gift of his Son, from his heart.

If you’re struggling this Christmas, find ways to cope, leave family get togethers when they become too much, or list memories of your loved one. If you’re alone, celebrate Jesus’s birthday by lighting a candle and eating something special. Find the joy of Christmas in your soul by thanking God for his gift by giving a gift from the heart. A few customers told me they had no family so Christmas is just another day, but it’s not. It’s a special day and you can celebrate without family. You can pray to God, sing “Happy Birthday” to Jesus, make a special meal for yourself, or find a place offering Christmas dinners to go eat.

Despite a rough year and lots of stress, I’m celebrating Christmas with a smile on my face and God in my soul. This Christmas my soul will shine bright in God’s love while I celebrate in the light of recovery. Merry Christmas!!!

SNOWAGEDDON AND DRAMA

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

Living by one of the great lakes, Lake Erie, makes weather in Erie PA and the regions nearby unpredictable. In 2017 we had nearly five feet of snow dumped on us on Christmas day, and my husband and I were stranded over night at my parents. Over the past few years, we have been lucky and had mild winters. I hoped this year would be easy too, but the unpredictable lake had other plans for us.

Thanksgiving Day was a clear and calm day. Then I woke up Friday morning to snow falling like God was dumping it from heaven in truck loads. My husband, Lou, was supposed to have an interview that afternoon. He drove me to work in slim visibility. I told him not to go to the interview and try to call them instead. I started work while he attempted to call, but he just got an answering machine. He then left to go home. I cashed out customers and Lou came to me upset. The vehicle would not start, and alarms were going off.

I handed a customer a bag of groceries and turned to my husband. “Maybe the steering wheel is locked. Try moving it around.”

For an hour Lou was in and out of the store trying everything he could think of to get our SUV to start. He came to me upset and soaked. Since I was working, I couldn’t help him. I told him to stay inside and dry off in the café until I got my break. When I got my break, we both went out to our SUV. This time we couldn’t open the doors. We went inside and I tried to call a few garages, but  I only got answering machines. The snow just kept coming down, so I told Lou to just relax in the café until I got off work.

Fifteen minutes before my shift ended Lou found a friend to take us home. My boss let me go early. He drove us to the end of our road, but the snow was so deep that cars were stuck in the road. We had to walk up a block to our home wile snow pounded us in the face. We only had the back door key, but our neighbor had the sidewalk to the front shoveled. We live in a row house, which is like a condominium. One side we are attached to a block of row houses, and on the other we have a small fenced in yard. On the other side of the fences was a long row of more houses. The yard was too deep to walk through and the alley where we usually park our cars was unplowed. Our neighbor let me walk through their house to the back. I waded through snow past my knees to our driveway. I pulled the gate to our fence, opened it a little, and squeezed through. I waded through more snow until I got on our deck and into the house. I let Lou in the front door.

Our front porch.

The next two days I was off work. I didn’t leave the house on Saturday and on Sunday my neighbor took me to the store to get a few things. The snow continued to pile up. I binged on Netflix, worked on workbooks for One Life Project, texted with my friends, and watched Christmas movies with my husband. We watched the news to find that they declared a snow emergency for Erie and called in the National Guard. People were stranded on the major highways and warming centers were being put in place.

Monday it stopped snowing during the day, but the roads were bad. Buses were canceled so I called off work. I had no way of getting there. My dad traveled from Ripley NY, a half hour away for his treatment at the cancer center. Afterwards he tried to get our vehicle started with no luck. My parents took us back to Ripley with them and my dad lent us his pickup. It was nice to have a vehicle to drive, but since I’m short, getting into my dad’s pickup was like climbing a mountain. Getting out I had to slide off the edge of the seat until I reached the ground.

The next day my dad had our vehicle towed. On Wednesday he told us to bring our spare key fob because the one we were using was causing our car problems. That night we drove our car home. The next day when we tried to start it, it wouldn’t start again. We tried to go back in the house, but I had accidentally locked us out. I had a spare key for the back door. So once again, we went through our neighbor’s house to the back of the house. This time the snow was waist deep, and we had to use our neighbor’s shovel to remove snow from around the gate in order for me to squeeze through. I got in the house and let my husband in the front door. We called my dad and spent the rest of the day at home.

Our back yard and porch that I had to wade through

The next morning my parents came so my dad could check the battery in our car. The battery was dead. My dad dropped me off at work and went and got a battery. When my husband showed up for my break, I knew our SUV was running again.

For that whole week it snowed each night, adding to the snow total and back roads became narrower and narrower. The snowplows ran tirelessly, but there was no place to put the snow. By Tuesday the following week customers were starting to dig themselves out and were filling the aisles of the grocery stores. By Friday the news said we had a little over four feet of snow.

I could have gotten down and depressed with our situation, but instead I kept myself busy. I was stressed and frustrated with our car problems, but my dad, our hero, came to our rescue. We were in a bad situation, but as my friend Amy always says, “God will provide,” and he did. Each time I started to worry I texted a friend or found something to do. I kind of liked my two days off from work and away from reality. We were nice and warm in our home.

If you are feeling trapped by the winter weather and dealing with problems you can’t control, turn to your support system, find things to keep you busy, pamper yourself, and find ways to relax. Life throws us in a snowbank sometimes, and it’s up to us to dig ourselves out and to cope.

Next week they are predicting warmer temperatures and rain. We might be swimming our way around Erie. I stayed strong through our drama and because of that I am dancing in the light of recovery.

REASONS WHY MY LIFE IS IMPORTANT

Published on by Aimee Eddy5 Comments

I started watching a Netflix series called 13 Reasons Why; it is about a young girl who was bullied at school and sexually harassed at school until she committed suicide. The series speaks to me because in some ways I was in the shoes of the girl the show is about. It goes through many reasons why she took her life, and it hits home with me. I wanted to die when I was being bullied. I daydreamed about something horrible happening to me, resulting in my death.

Life is hard and especially harder for others. Sometimes a series of things or just one thing happens to a person to make life seem impossible to live. Some may ask how anyone could even think about taking their life, and no one can truly know what is happening inside a person. You don’t know what can drive a person to suicide unless you have been at that breaking point, but that doesn’t make it right. It’s hard when you’re at that point to see any other way out of your inner anguish, but there is a way. There are many reasons to live and push forward.

I had many reasons why I wanted to die when I was in school: my classmates picked on me, some of my teachers put me down, my friends either moved away or turned their backs on me, I felt alone, I felt worthless, and I thought I was the ugly one in my family. In spite of that, there are reasons my life is important which I’m going to list:

  • My parents loved me for who I was no matter what. My parents loved everything about me. They didn’t care if I was a tomboy or that my room was messy. They saw me for the person I was, and they loved me for that. If I took my life they would have been devastated.
  • I had dreams to fulfill. I dreamed of becoming a published author. I wrote many short stories and entered them into contests. I didn’t know that I would publish my own memoir that would help many, but I would have never found that out if I had ended my life.
  • I was smart and had a lot to accomplish. Despite my learning disability, I was an intelligent person. I just had to work harder to succeed at school. Once I found out that I was intelligent, I made the merit roll, honor roll, published stories, and made the National Honor Society. I would never have accomplished all that if I had taken my life.
  • I made a difference in people’s lives. Even though I felt alone, I was making a difference in people’s lives. I was friends with a girl whose home life was bad and I gave her someone to lean on. I became best friends with a girl who also was being bullied and we became inseparable. I even became close to her sisters and mother. My parents and grandparents’ lives were beautiful with me in it. If I died, they would all have been hurt and very sad.
  • I had a bright future ahead of me. At that time to me my future seemed dim, but it was bright. I proved I could accomplish a lot despite a learning disability, and my future was waiting for me. I had plans for college and dreams to become a published author. I had several acceptance letters to colleges. Now I am a published author, I have a college degree, I’ve worked the same job for twenty-nine years, I work for a nonprofit helping others with mental illness, and I would have never accomplished all this if I weren’t alive.
  • My life story could help people. In high school I wrote fictional stories based on the bullying I faced. I was determined to prove myself and that helped me accomplish a lot. I was an example that anyone could succeed. As an adult I have overcome bullying, a learning disability, mental illness, and relationship abuse and many see me as an inspiration. I tell my story in this blog and in my memoir and it helps people. If I had died, I would have never been able to tell my story to the world.

If you are feeling suicidal, write out a list of why your life is important, and dig deep inside you to find those reasons. Ask people in your life why you are important to them. You’ll find that your life is worth living. There are a lot of reasons to be on this earth living your life and fighting for happiness. Instead of coming up with 13 reasons why you should end your life, come up with 13 reasons why you should live your life.

Because I never succeeded at taking my life I live a beautiful life with a wonderful husband, lots of memories, a good job, and lots of happiness. I stand tall in the light of recovery glad to be alive.

BEING THANKFUL

Published on by Aimee EddyLeave a comment

The holidays are supposed to be a happy time of year. Thanksgiving is getting closer and closer. People are busy planning big meals to celebrate with friends and family. It’s a time of sharing and being grateful for the things we have in our lives. But for many this holiday and other holidays are dreaded. Some struggle with anxiety about spending time with large groups of people, some are alone, some are struggling with depression and can’t find joy, some dread family drama, and some are spending the holidays without a loved one.

When I was younger, I hated holidays. They only made me feel more alone and depressed. I struggled with friends coming in and out of my life. My classmates and teachers put me down. I felt even more isolated from the world during the holidays. Thanksgiving left me feeling like there was nothing in my life to be thankful for. I fell into a depression and became irritable at the holidays. I fought with my siblings and easily went off on my parents.

When I met my husband, my perspective on holidays changed. He made everything brighter. He gave me reasons to celebrate, and with him I never feel or felt alone. I found things to be thankful for at Thanksgiving time.

This holiday season my husband and I are struggling financially, and I’m helping him search for a job. I feel stressed, sad, and overwhelmed. Thanksgiving is Thursday, and I have been wondering what I have to be thankful for. My husband is out of work, bills are adding up, we’re applying for jobs for him, but no one is calling, we have big decisions to make, and I don’t know how to make them. I feel depression tugging at me, but I’m fighting it.

To get into the holiday spirit I decided to write a list of things I’m thankful for. Here is my list:

  • I’m thankful for friends who have helped my husband and me in our time of need. A customer who has become a friend sent me a check, a friend brought us dog food and a gift card, and another friend gave us a turkey breast.
  • I’m thankful to have a house to live in. Despite how tough things are for us, we still have a roof over our heads.
  • I’m thankful for my husband. I wouldn’t want to go through these tough times with anyone else.
  • I’m thankful for my parents. My parents are always giving moral support, listening to us, and helping us out in anyway they can. Their love is endless.
  • I’m thankful for the food bank at our church. Without the food bank, we would not have food.
  • I’m thankful for my dog, Esther. She always seems to know when I’m struggling, and she gives me extra cuddles.
  • I’m thankful for being strong enough to fight depression. I could easily fall to the bottom of my hole of darkness, but I refuse to let that happen.
  • I’m thankful for having a family that loves me. My parents are wonderful, and so are my siblings. They show me in different ways how much they care.
  • I’m thankful for my job. Without my job, we would be in even worse shape. Talking to my customers brightens my day.

Thanksgiving is a time to look at your life and see what you have to be grateful for. When you are struggling with hard times and mental illness, it’s hard to find good things. If you think about it and list things you are thankful for, you might find light in your soul. You can be grateful for small things like getting out of bed, taking a shower, or going for a walk. No matter how bad things seem, there is always something in your life to be thankful for.

This holiday season I have been struggling with a lot of emotions and coping to keep above the hole, but writing a list of what I am thankful for is helping me celebrate in the light of recovery.

COPING WITH STRESS

Published on by Aimee Eddy2 Comments

Stress causes physical and mental health problems such as stomach issues, weakened immune system, high blood pressure, tense muscles causing aches and pain, depression, and anxiety. We all deal with some type of stress in our lives, but when you have mental illness stress can make your illness worse. With mental illness minor things can stress you out and it can lead to self-injury, anxiety attacks, and suicide attempts.

The important thing is to know how to cope with stress so that you can reach towards the light of recovery or stay in the light of recovery. Here are some coping techniques I learned to deal with stress:

  • Identify your trigger. What types of things cause you to be stressed? Could it be dealing with family problems, could it be taking on too much responsibility, could it be making important decisions, or working long hours? List your triggers in a journal or on a sheet of paper. I keep a list of my triggers in my journal.
  • Reduce your to-do list. If you are doing too much, then cut your list down. See what is most important for you to complete, and leave the other things for another time. If work stresses you out, then determine if you need a different job or if you can reduce the number of hours you work. I work part time because working full time is too stressful for me and causes my anxiety to heighten.
  • Practice relaxation. Find something to do that relaxes you such as listening to music, deep breathing, trying yoga, practicing mindfulness, taking a bath, going for a walk, or doing a craft. Everyone has different ways or things they do that help them relax. Find something that works for you. I find woodburning, imagining lying on a beach, and deep breathing relaxing.
  • Turn to your support system. If you don’t have a support system, build one. Having friends and family that support you is very helpful with your mental illness and dealing with stress. If you’re feeling stressed, talk to someone in your support system, make plans to meet for lunch, send a text or invite them over. Leaning on others who can encourage you, listen to you, and who can help you see a different perspective will help you handle your feelings and stress better. When I’m stressed out, I lean on my husband and friends. My friend, Cheryl, and my husband always help me see things in a different way and find away to get me to laugh.
  • Ask for help. If you can’t deal with your stress on your own, consider going to therapy. A therapist can work with you on different coping techniques that will help you. If you are taking too much on, then ask a friend or family member to help you out. If you are making a decision that stresses you out ask someone to guide you with that decision. If you have too much to do, then ask a family member or friend to help you get it done. There is nothing wrong with asking for help. When I have problems with making a decision, I ask my husband for help, and when I have too much to do, I ask my husband to help me out.
  • Know your limits. Know how much you can handle before you get stressed out. Once you know your limits, stick to them. If a friend asks you to put together a baby shower for her and it pushes past your limits, kindly tell your friend you can’t do it. If working two jobs is too much, then just work one. If everyone is asking you to do something for them and it causes you stress, then only take on what you feel comfortable with and tell the others no. There is nothing wrong with limiting how much you do for your own wellbeing. I only do as much as I feel comfortable with. If it is more than I can handle, then I tell people no or I do less.
  • Take care of yourself. If you take care of your physical and mental health, you will be able to handle stress better. Get plenty of sleep, eat well, practice coping techniques, take your medicine, and pamper yourself when you need to. When I’m stressed it is easy to skip a meal or lose sleep by worrying too much. I try to journal out my worries before bed, and I make sure I eat three meals a day. If I’m worrying too much and can’t sleep, I talk to my husband, and he helps me talk things out so I can sleep.
  • Challenge your negative thoughts and practice positive thinking. If you’re thinking negative things, turn them into positive thoughts. Try to practice positive thinking to keep your spirits up. Bad thoughts only bring you down and make you feel hopeless. I journal out my negative thoughts and then change them to positive ones. When I’m negative, my husband reminds me to be positive. I notice when I focus on the positive, I feel better.

When stress starts to drag you down that dark hole, practice these coping techniques. Don’t let stress cause you physical health problems and worsen your mental health. You are important and it’s important to know how to take care of yourself by managing your stress with coping techniques. Sometimes there is stress in your life you just can’t avoid, but by coping with it you can handle it better.

By managing my stress, I relax in the light of recovery.